Trouble with closing!

[Hugh]

Hey All,
I've been having this problem lately, its happened to me a couple of times and I can figure out what to do. For example, I'll street approach a girl, get her number, set a meet up later for coffee/ice cream/etc, after our first meet up we part ways on good terms, then i set up a second meet up at my place, she comes over and i make a move after a little bit and we start making out. When i try to escalate towards sex she either bows out and says she has somewhere to be, or sticks around for a bit, but says we're not having sex. This is extremely frustrating, I'm not entirely sure what I'm doing wrong. The only thing I can think of is that Im putting myself in the BF zone. Any tips, suggestions, advice, whatever would be awesome.
Thanks Guys
- Hugh

 

[Franco]

Hugh,

Why aren't you attempting to close on the first date? Each consecutive date after the first immediately starts pushing you toward the boyfriend zone. Inviting a girl directly over to your place on a second date doesn't really hide too much, and since she's expecting you to push for sex, she may already have her guard up.

The other option is to take her out for more of a "romantic" second date and then don't invite her home with you (which is what she would be expecting if you invited her home on the first date and she declined). Then you invite her directly over for a third date when she's unsure of what you'll do (and excited about you because of the awesome second date), and then you make your move.

- Franco

 

[Hugh]

Thanks Franco,
My thought process was to meet up with a girl for an hour and built rapport on the first date, then part ways. Guess thats not the best way to go, and your right about her guard being up. Thanks again, hopefully won't have this problem again.

 

[Marty]

Franco:

Quick question on this very interesting thread:

Inviting a girl directly over to your place on a second date doesn't really hide too much, and since she's expecting you to push for sex, she may already have her guard up.

Are you saying that Hugh should "hide" his intentions? I know Girls Chase generally advocates being upfront and "a man" about one's desires, and quite apart from that I'm not sure that in his shoes I'd feel too good about having to trick a girl into sex when she's not "expecting" it... I'd far rather give her what she wants, when she wants it.

Thanks in advance for the clarification.

-Marty

 

[Franco]

Are you saying that Hugh should "hide" his intentions? I know Girls Chase generally advocates being upfront and "a man" about one's desires, and quite apart from that I'm not sure that in his shoes I'd feel too good about having to trick a girl into sex when she's not "expecting" it... I'd far rather give her what she wants, when she wants it.

This is a more specific situation. I'm talking about a second date after having invited her home on a first date and having her decline. The intentions are already clear that he wants (or at least wanted) sex, but he failed to get it. On a second date, she'll be expecting you to invite her home again because you did the first time around, so she'll already have a programmed response for when you do it (since she's obviously working on you as boyfriend material at this point given that it's a second date). The idea here is to throw off her programmed response by not inviting her home, which builds up intrigue on her part. When you invite her directly over to your place for a third date, she'll be a lot less likely to have a pre-programmed response to your sexual advances since she's not so sure now if you will actually push for sex -- even though you will.

This isn't necessarily a set-in-stone game plan. You could just invite her directly over to your place for a second date and see if she accepts. But I wouldn't take her on a "romantic" second date and then invite her home afterward because she'll have had her response ready long before the date even started.

- Franco