FR Troy Casanova World of Social Calibration

[Troy]

Hey Gents

I'm proud to say that I have begun my first field reports. I'm converting the majority of my Journal into this field reports and I'll be using my journal as a tool simply to keep track of my daily goals, my calendar. I'm hoping to get a lot more approaching under my belt for the rest of the year.

Presently, my main goals are :

1) Developing a LOVE for socializing, getting over being shy and getting over fear of talking to women.

2) Get good at making effortless conversation with anyone.

3) Learning my fundamentals

I look forward to a lot of finger numbing typing as I write down every outing, with every girl to the best that I can remember.

Things that Never Go Missing in My Field Reports


1) Details, Details, details...I didn't write that enough times...but enough said

2) Body language...both myself and the girl (plus any other third party members)

3) The dialogue

4) Self Analysis: What I think I did wrong and what to change

That's all for now.
Until my next post,

Troy

 

[Troy]

FR: Simple Goals

Today my goals were:

1) Projecting a louder and clearer voice

2) While walking down the street, make eye contact with everyone and look at the bridge of their nose

3) Keeping a relaxed demeanor when standing, sitting and conversing with people

 

[ray_zorse]

That's great stuff What I've been doing is similar except that I look ABOVE everyone, give it a try, it's pretty cool when you get used to it. See the article on elite eye contact. If someone is having trouble getting out of my way then I drill them with direct eye contact till they do, but this basically never happens, if it's someone I want to check out and they are directly in my path I can allow that though, maybe. It's rather peaceful knowing you're not going to make accidental eye contact with anyone or have to deal with the bullshit that goes along with that..give it a try man..obviously keep a track on what's happening in peripheral vision, if you concentrate hard on this it helps to remember & practice the self control but you can also just unfocus the eyes and daydream a bit, very peaceful...

 

[Troy]

It's now 4 days since school begun. Today during a class meeting, we were discussing about fixing up the classroom. At first we spoke about installing new fans then we went onto talking about getting a class party rolling every week. Finally we got onto talking about getting tissue for all the bathrooms. The bathrooms don't carry tissue so everyone has to carry there own if they need any.

The girl that brought up this topic, I begun a small talk with her. Let's call her Stacy.

Stacy: We need toilet tissue in the and bins in the bathrooms.
Troy: Yea that's true
Stacy: Yeah (reaching out for a hand clap)
Troy: (clap her hand)
Troy: (Out loud) Yea we boys need tissue in the bathrooms and a bin. Even the girls need one to put their pads and tampons.

Then another girl jumps in: Let's call her Ashley

Ashley: This boy is so blunt. So direct.
Troy: Huh
Ashley (weird stairs)

And that conversation ended. I felt a bit ashamed of myself for saying that. It's the only way to make progress. Learning to calibrate. What to say and what not to say. Even earlier that day I someone else told I was too direct. When it comes to sex, hygiene, and girls, persons say I am too explicit. Too direct.

What to Change

I'm not sure how to go about being less direct. However I'll have to work on thinking carefully about sensitive topics and not being too direct. That hurts people feelings and runs them away. Although I'm unsure what to do, the steps I'll do to practice not being overly direct are:

1) Think about the topic in discussion. If it might involve anything too explicit , beware and think before talking.

2) Listen carefully

3) Think about the words coming to my mouth before saying them. At the same time, don't be extreme to the point where I end up saying nothing but do be wary.


Wrap Up

That's it for today. I'll work on those tomorrow. So I stop making people wonder what is wrong why I am so direct.

Troy

 

[Troy]

I'm getting ready for school now, a social circle environment. I'm simply listing my goals for today. And only three goals. Here they are:

1) Talk to every girl I happen to be near to.
2) Compliment Two girls on something I like about them
3) When walking, focus my eye contact above everyone's head and practice my peripheral vision

Until later,

Troy

 

[Troy]

A update on yesterday.

1) I ended up talking to over 15 girls that day, each conversation lasting at least two minutes and up to three hours with me one girl. In the morning I have a hard time warming up and talking. School starts at 8:00am and most persons are at school from 7:00am. I happen to arrive at 7:30 am so by the time I get there everyone is already in a group and in full swing. So coming Monday and onwards I'll be making a effort to arrive at school 6:30am. That way I get to warm up by talking to the one or two persons there before groups start forming.


Also, I get dizzy when the environment is too loud and things are already in full swing. I prefer one on one conversation until I am feeling very social. Another reason to go to school early.

I realize that as the day goes on, the more people I talk to is the more comfortable I feel and the less people I talk to is the more I feel like a nerd/loner even if I have a friend nearby. I had quite a few "ok" conversations. I can't remember much apart from the fact that I felt relaxed after talking to 5 girls, I showed that feeling, my voice became a lot clearer when I got comfortable, and me and the girl related stuff to each other with the occasional joke. I still have to work more in my sense of humor.

One conversation with a sassy new girl I can particularly remember is because I got a negative remark that rubbed me the wrong way. I can't remember her name so I'll call her Janie.

Troy: Hey Janie!
Janie: Hi
Troy: Have you completed your Business homework?
Janie: What? You don't seem to listen do you? Today is Friday and teacher said he wanted the homework Monday. Something must be wrong with you.

Troy: I know but I always do my homework as soon as I get it so it was just asking .
Janie: ( to a girl nearby) Him don't listen at all don't it?
Girl Nearby: No

And then it got awkward. Total silence. So I felt a bit down on myself. It's not the first time a girl has told me that I don't listen and that I then ask unnecessary questions. I'll resolve to do better listening and remembering things people tell me.

#2) I totally forgot about this one. So it's on my "Must Do List" this Monday.

#3) Looking over everyone's head while practising my peripheral vision is a little tricky at times especially when I'm walking and talking with someone. I spend more mental energy on thinking about what to say. I'll resolve to do better next time.

That's it for now. I have the dishes to wash up plus I'm cooking dinner tonight for my family.

Troy

 

[Troy]

Going For The Kiss

Hey Gents,


I had a wonderful learning experience today at school. I spend the entire day talking to a lot of people, particularly girls. The girl in my social circle who I have my eye on I managed to move her and isolate her and I attempted to get a kiss from her. It didn't work out, I'm not sure why but I can only guess. A little help would be appreciated from anyone as to what went wrong.

I spent about 30 minutes in conversation with a bunch of girls, all who are attractive and are friends with the girl I have my eye on. After some time passed, I let the conversation die down then I commanded the girl I had my eye on to go somewhere with me. I didn't tell her where. Her name is Tanique. This is how the conversation went:

Troy: Hey Tanique! Step into my office? Let's go for a walk
Tanique: ( she got up without any objections ad followed)

#I did this while still surrounded by the girls I was talking with. I then said

Troy: (to the girl she was talking to) excuse Tanique for me for a few minutes. I'll soon bring her back to you.

Sheila: Ok sure
Troy: Thanks

Then me and Tanique walked off. I immediately begun talking even if I wasn't sure what to say.

Troy: How was your communication studies class earlier?
Tanique: It was ok
Troy: Ok. Well I finished my drama presentation with my group. It was... .(stammer) a good skit. We changed up a few things in the skit. The idea of the presentation was to show the different types of communication. We had a teacher, a classroom setting that showed how students answer teacher questions without speaking a word which is non verbal and also some a girl that was publicly embarrassed which is verbal.

............And on and on we spoke. It was a normal conversation. No laughs, no smiles. I can't remember what else we spoke about exactly. The gist is that for our little walk around school we spoke about special drinks, what we wanted to do with our lives And stuff like that.

Along the walk, I held her hand when we walked around corners where no one could see, I touched the small of her back and put my arm around her shoulder. I did all this without asking and I let go way before she started getting uncomfortable with being held like that.

A little grease was rubbed on the wheel when as we walked, persons who knew me called out to me. When we were circling back to the group of students hanging under the lounge, I made it my duty towalk back at the quiet part of the sschool and stopped at a corner. In the meantime as I made the transition, I continued talking. That way I don't get any awkwardness. The conversation :

Troy: I played a lot of games when I was in grade school. I played football, cricket, spin the bottle and "peak a boo". Play peek a boo with me?
Tanique: I don't know those games
Troy: Peek a boo is when you close your eyes and then open them saying " surprise". Close your eyes?

#I held her hands and stopped her from walking. It was a gradual stop, not a brute force. Then I pushed her gently against the wall#

Troy: Close your eyes? It's simple. Let me go first as I put my hands over my eyes and then say "peek a boo".( I let go of her hands as I did it And then said " surprise". )

Troy: Your turn
Tanique: No ( looking to the side as if trying to say let's continue walking)
Troy: ( I walked off a little and let go of her hands to release the tension. I wasn't against her body, only our hands touched. ) Ohh Come on! (As I laughed lightly) Every girl enjoys a good laugh and fun. Close your eyes?

Then I put her gently against the wall again and held her hands.

Tanique: I don't play games. I spent all my childhood alone or reading books and rarely talking.
Troy: (I let go again and walk off) I spent a lot of time reading as a child. I read a lot of Grid Bylton and Nancy Drew books.

Tanique: Yea I read a lot of those too

.......And we just kept walking and talking until we ended up back at the senior school lounge where we left the group. I let the conversation die down and we sat across from each other and I begun talking to the entire group like nothing happened. I actually didn't feel bad about getting rejected while I went for the kiss. I was just enjoying myself as she looked on. I noticed when I looked away into the open, when she thought I couldn't see her, she stared at me with a big smile on her face. Yet when I looked at her, she looked away. I'm not sure what that means.

Any advise appreciated as to where I went wrong. Thanks

Troy

 

[Troy]

viewtopic.php?f=5&t=7771#p37671

 

[Troy]

Tomorrow's goals are:

1) Focus on listening carefully to people. And ensure that I understand thoroughly. Then reiterate it to them.

2) Use more statements than questions, especially when I just begin a conversation with someone

3) Slow down my speech.



Reason why? I've gotten a lot of feedback from girls telling me that I talk way too fast, like a crazy person and I mumble my words. And when I am listening to a girl and I ask a question based on what they said it totally doesn't relate to what they were saying. Finally, I read somewhere on here that starting a conversation with questions can make things get awkward. So I'll begin with 3 statements and then ask a question.

I'll sleep on this tonight. It's my meditation time for 10 minutes followed by me going to sleep. Until tomorrow

Troy