He guys, I've hit a wall with this new girl. She is very tomboyish and I've never gone after a girl like this before.
Quick back story:
She is a friend of my best friend. We've hung out before and I thought she was pretty but I never did anything with her because she is also good friends with my best friend. We were sitting down and I was talking about my girlfriend at the time and it was like a switch went off in her head. All of a sudden she was interested but played it really down. Then she messages me through Facebook that night and said she'd like to go out if I'm free. I played it cool and told her if things change I would consider going out with her. Fast forward 2 months and she's asking again because she knows I'm single.
1st Date:
First date went well and we talked for 4 hours, she really liked it but gave almost no signs. I would touch her or hold her hand and while she would hold it, she wouldn't give any positive feedback. By the time the night was winding down, I knew we needed to go. At this point I'm thinking, "crap I've screwed up, I haven't been engaging enough and this may be it.". We get to her car, talk to her dog and I'm thinking "Should I go in for the kiss anyway and see what happens?" While, I'm looking at her and trying to make up my mind she gives me a coy little smile. I think to myself "Finally! she shows some interest and wants a kiss". We end up kissing back and forth for about a minute. Then I leave. I get a text before I get home telling me how she "wanted to kiss my lips for a long time".
2nd Date:
Here is where I slipped up. I wanted to do something fun for the second date but I was racking my brain trying to come up with something she would like (she'd rather go for a hike than go downtown dancing). So I decided to go for a hike around a lake at a local park with her dog (she takes the dog almost everywhere with her). I was hoping to be more engaging as we wouldn't be stuck behind a table or a bar but it didn't happen that way. It was a bit more fun and I played with her dog then we grabbed a bite to eat at the pizza place next door. We talked for another 2 hours and at this point we're 7 hours into talking... I know from Chase and others that this would be a strain even for the best conversationalists. Before we leave, she asks for a 3rd date. So at least I know she is still interested but we're kind winding down and things aren't a high point. We kiss a couple of times but it's not as magical as the first time and no text afterwards this time.
3rd Date:
I need this one to go well. I don't need a fuck close but I know I'm stringing things along at this point and she's not going to keep giving me chances if I don't at least come close to turning up the heat quite a bit. I was thinking of something fun that would allow us to be like little kids - where we could be physical and not talk much (just be in the moment). A place were I could mess with her, tease her and touch her. I was thinking something like mini-golf or pool but I would appreciate other suggestions...
Caveat here:
I want things to work out between me and this girl but not at the expense of my best friend-who doesn't know yet that we are dating but we'd both agreed we'd tell him soon (I am serious about this and would rather let her slip through my fingers). So I have been a bit timid in pressing things. I know this is a problem but since she gives me basically zero feedback on what I'm doing and seems rather cold when I grab her waist or otherwise try to touch her (she never reaches out and touches me), I'm hard pressed to know what to do. I can't tell if she's turned on or just wants to get to know me more.
Any advice on the 3rd date or how I can know where to press forward and when I'm pushing too hard with her? Again she gives almost zero feedback, so it's hard to know what's working and what's not.
Quick back story:
She is a friend of my best friend. We've hung out before and I thought she was pretty but I never did anything with her because she is also good friends with my best friend. We were sitting down and I was talking about my girlfriend at the time and it was like a switch went off in her head. All of a sudden she was interested but played it really down. Then she messages me through Facebook that night and said she'd like to go out if I'm free. I played it cool and told her if things change I would consider going out with her. Fast forward 2 months and she's asking again because she knows I'm single.
1st Date:
First date went well and we talked for 4 hours, she really liked it but gave almost no signs. I would touch her or hold her hand and while she would hold it, she wouldn't give any positive feedback. By the time the night was winding down, I knew we needed to go. At this point I'm thinking, "crap I've screwed up, I haven't been engaging enough and this may be it.". We get to her car, talk to her dog and I'm thinking "Should I go in for the kiss anyway and see what happens?" While, I'm looking at her and trying to make up my mind she gives me a coy little smile. I think to myself "Finally! she shows some interest and wants a kiss". We end up kissing back and forth for about a minute. Then I leave. I get a text before I get home telling me how she "wanted to kiss my lips for a long time".
2nd Date:
Here is where I slipped up. I wanted to do something fun for the second date but I was racking my brain trying to come up with something she would like (she'd rather go for a hike than go downtown dancing). So I decided to go for a hike around a lake at a local park with her dog (she takes the dog almost everywhere with her). I was hoping to be more engaging as we wouldn't be stuck behind a table or a bar but it didn't happen that way. It was a bit more fun and I played with her dog then we grabbed a bite to eat at the pizza place next door. We talked for another 2 hours and at this point we're 7 hours into talking... I know from Chase and others that this would be a strain even for the best conversationalists. Before we leave, she asks for a 3rd date. So at least I know she is still interested but we're kind winding down and things aren't a high point. We kiss a couple of times but it's not as magical as the first time and no text afterwards this time.
3rd Date:
I need this one to go well. I don't need a fuck close but I know I'm stringing things along at this point and she's not going to keep giving me chances if I don't at least come close to turning up the heat quite a bit. I was thinking of something fun that would allow us to be like little kids - where we could be physical and not talk much (just be in the moment). A place were I could mess with her, tease her and touch her. I was thinking something like mini-golf or pool but I would appreciate other suggestions...
Caveat here:
I want things to work out between me and this girl but not at the expense of my best friend-who doesn't know yet that we are dating but we'd both agreed we'd tell him soon (I am serious about this and would rather let her slip through my fingers). So I have been a bit timid in pressing things. I know this is a problem but since she gives me basically zero feedback on what I'm doing and seems rather cold when I grab her waist or otherwise try to touch her (she never reaches out and touches me), I'm hard pressed to know what to do. I can't tell if she's turned on or just wants to get to know me more.
Any advice on the 3rd date or how I can know where to press forward and when I'm pushing too hard with her? Again she gives almost zero feedback, so it's hard to know what's working and what's not.
