Casual/FWB Turning Casual Relationships into Long Terms...?

[Mr.Montague]

Hello,

So Ive been seeing this girl for about 2 months... We've been going really hard, and it seems like we spend a lot of time together. Roughly 3-4 times a week, and sometimes its less and sometimes its more. I was dating a couple of girls, but kind of fell into this one with her, everytime we hang out we have sex...

My inquiry here is, most of the time she seems really into me, and sometimes she comes off a loof and likes to play around. When are we together... shes all over me and mentions the future with me. Then there are moments where I feel like she'll distance herself. It seems that way now, which is why I writing this.. But her friend came into to town, and shes been acting on edge with er around, and she is constantly trying to please her. It just seem strange, and tonight she kind of blew me off to hang with this chick.Which I kind of hoped for, because this chick does everything I say, and even gives me cash and cooks me dinner. But some thing just doesnt feel quite right, sometimes I question my feelings for her, ya know? Do I really like this girl? Does she like me? Its a strange feeling... Just want to talk it out.

 

[Chase]

Montague-

Just responded to your other post here.

My inquiry here is, most of the time she seems really into me, and sometimes she comes off a loof and likes to play around. When are we together... shes all over me and mentions the future with me. Then there are moments where I feel like she'll distance herself.

This happens when a girl likes you a good bit, but isn't sure if the feeling is reciprocated.

That is to say, she doesn't know if you feel the same way, so after she gushes her feelings for a while, she reigns herself back in to make sure she doesn't end up getting hurt.

But her friend came into to town, and shes been acting on edge with er around, and she is constantly trying to please her. It just seem strange, and tonight she kind of blew me off to hang with this chick.

She may have self-esteem issues, and gets her confidence from being liked by other people. It sounds like she's trying to please her friend (and that she tries to please you). She may have been on edge because she was nervous what the friend would think of you, or that the friend would discover that her feelings for you are stronger than your feelings for her.

I probably wouldn't worry about the blowoff. When friends are in town who usually aren't, it's common to want to spend more time with them - they are the scarce resource, after all.

Which I kind of hoped for, because this chick does everything I say, and even gives me cash and cooks me dinner. But some thing just doesnt feel quite right, sometimes I question my feelings for her, ya know? Do I really like this girl? Does she like me? Its a strange feeling... Just want to talk it out.

Sounds like there's a value imbalance, where she's just giving you everything you want and making it too easy for you. It's weird to say it, but men need drama to fall in love... guys go for women who make it hard for them (just as women go for men who make it hard for them). Normally speaking, the more in control of the relationship you are, the less crazy about the other person you'll be, and vice versa. The relationships you have where the girl is craziest about you, you'll usually be on the fence; and the relationships you have where you're craziest about the girl, she'll usually be the one on the fence. That's just how it goes.

Chase