- Joined
- Jul 14, 2013
- Messages
- 230
Went to a jazz club in a town I was visiting for a couple of days. I get in, it's pretty packed. A seat at the corner end of the bar, nearest to the exit, frees up and I grab it quickly. I had noticed a curly blonde in leggings and a sexy skirt with an original design standing, gyrating slightly to the music. Eventually, she sits down 3 seats away from the corner where I planted myself.
I'm sitting at the short end of the bar facing the stage. Next to me is the long part of the bar that runs parallel to the wall. There is an empty seat next to me, then some dude nursing a drink, then her. My first thought was "How long is it gonna take before this guy starts to chat her up?" What a chode mindset on my part.... Despite this dude having good fashion (whereby I automatically assumed he has good game), to my surprise, he just keeps nursing his drink. I get in my head quick, but eventually after about 5 minutes, I realize that the only action which I won't regret later is to talk to her. She was playing with her phone when I initiated:
I initiated touch her right from the get-go. First shoulder, then her waist during introductions. We banter about the music for a couple of minutes. Meanwhile, in my mind's eye, I can practically see the clock ticking as the allowable time for me to stand over her nears its end. After a bit less than 5 minutes of chatting I say:
I tried to grab her hand but then realized she needed to grab her belongings, so I wound up moving first. She quickly followed. The logistics of where we sat were pretty good because we were at a 90-degree angle from each other (at the corner end of the bar). That meant our legs could touch "accidentally" and I could casually touch her.
During the course of our conversation, I find out that she is a flight attendant who is moving to a different home base right after New Year's. Flight attendant, moving soon, out alone on a Monday night. The alarm bells start going off in my head.
We banter and I find out that she loves music and is a singer/songwriter. I casually ask her about her neighborhood, during which she tells me that she lives in a rougher part of town where men always catcall her. She is answering my questions and does not shy away from my touch, but I never reach the hook point with her: I do not sexualize the conversation. Specifically, I should have flirted with her. Some ideas: you're a sexy flight attendant who's always seducing men in jazz clubs. Or a sexy songstress who makes men swoon over you with your sultry lyrics and melodies. Or, in response to her mention of catcalls, "I can imagine situations where you would enjoy being called those names" and look seductively in her eyes...
At a certain point she gets up and says she'll be back. She leaves her unfinished drink and goes outside, presumably to smoke.
After about a couple of minutes, the couple sitting to my right clear out. While I'm sitting and vibing to the music, a pretty blonde with long straight hair comes out of nowhere:
She sits down and I wait a couple of minutes, before deciding to start a friendly exchange.
And..... it's on. We get into some interesting banter. She is probably around my age (30). I really didn't have an opportunity to gauge her body (since she sat right next to me), but her face was pretty and she was a natural dirty blonde. I started to melt a little bit when she told me her name, because it's not common nowadays and is sexy.
My initial strategy was that it would be good to get some social momentum to talk with other girls while I wait for Sarah to come back. Initially, then, I didn't touch Gina and had no conscious intent of sexualizing our interaction because I feared it would mess up my chances with Sarah. Also, since she had sat next to me purely because there was an available seat, I was at a loss how I can express the fact that I was attracted to her after already setting a purely friendly vibe.
It was probably around 20 minutes before Sarah comes back. Now I have a dilemma on my hands. What do I do? Do I ignore Gina and focus all my attention on Sarah? Do I play it cool and introduce them to each other, since I found out that they were both regulars at this club? Do I continue to talk to them both?
I choose the latter. This turned out to be a mistake. That is because while both of the girls continued to talk to me, they weren't really investing in the conversation. I would ask Sarah some questions, we'd get into a back-and-forth that ran its course after a couple of minutes. Then there'd be a pause and I would ask Gina some questions. Rinse and repeat.
As I continue to speak with Gina, she is becoming increasingly more desirable as I peel the layers off to get a better understanding of who she is. Early in the convo, I found out that she was a programmer and correctly cold-read that she went to Carnegie Mellon, a prestigious computer science uni (after she told me she lived in Pittsburgh). Much later, to my surprise, she casually and unpretentiously reveals that she is also a concert pianist and had double-majored in music (along with cs), something that was severely discouraged at her school. An intelligent, sexy, down-to-earth girl who's both a computer scientist and a musician out alone on a Monday night. I was actually starting to get in awe of her, because she clearly was a top-notch woman (although to play devil's advocate, why would a top-notch woman be out on a Monday night without a man...).
I actually started to feel like I was lower value than her (not true, it's just I don't often meet women like her). My brain goes into overdrive thinking about hypothetical what-if nonsense like "What if we were actually together?", etc.
During this time, she keeps being distracted with texts. I think nothing of it and just talk with Sarah when this happens. At a certain point, though, Gina does apologize, saying "Sorry, I'm being totally rude, it's work-related".
She goes out to make a phone call at a certain point and I revert my attention back to Sarah. The vibe is off with her a little bit. We continue to banter, and I go for it, asking what she was planning to do after this. "Just take a cab home and go to sleep", she replies. And that's it, I don't push further! I've half-assed my statement of intent. I should have said, "well, it'd be fun to continue to hang out with you and close out the night". What prevented me was the fact that I had the feeling that we were still enjoying the music and it was risky to pull then. But given that Gina wasn't there, it would have been a good time to just go for it and try to leave with Sarah.
At this point, a black lady sits next to Sarah and initiates a conversation with her. Eventually, while talking, the black girl motions to me, as if to ask if Sarah and I are together. I take the initiative and introduce myself to her. We banter about random stuff and she explicitly asks me who I'm here with, to which I tell her the truth.
After Gina comes back, Sarah leaves after ordering a martini and goes up to the dance floor without saying anything. It's just Gina and me now. It's probably around 12:45 am and the bar closes at 1. So I go for broke and also ask Gina about late-night spots in this town where we could go, but she says she doesn't know any and says she's got to get to sleep, since she has work tomorrow.
The band finishes playing, the lights go on, and Gina gets up and walks towards the stage (probably to go to the bathroom). At this point, I realize that it's over. Andrea, the black lady, asks me if I'm going home with Gina. I dodge the question and just say I've met everyone here tonight. I'm starting to get up to leave. She motions for me to sit down so we can talk about it (I wasn't quite sure what there was to talk about.....). I tell her "the bar's closing down" and politely but curtly say farewell.
In the very least, I could have just gone up to Sarah at the very end and said what I wrote above, but I think I was genuinely scared of Gina seeing me do that. But the worst that could have happened would have been the same result that I got anyways!!
I was cursing myself the whole 40-minute walk back to where I was staying. I let these girls down, they were looking for someone! Of course, as cliche as it sounds, this was a very educational experience.
I'm sitting at the short end of the bar facing the stage. Next to me is the long part of the bar that runs parallel to the wall. There is an empty seat next to me, then some dude nursing a drink, then her. My first thought was "How long is it gonna take before this guy starts to chat her up?" What a chode mindset on my part.... Despite this dude having good fashion (whereby I automatically assumed he has good game), to my surprise, he just keeps nursing his drink. I get in my head quick, but eventually after about 5 minutes, I realize that the only action which I won't regret later is to talk to her. She was playing with her phone when I initiated:
I initiated touch her right from the get-go. First shoulder, then her waist during introductions. We banter about the music for a couple of minutes. Meanwhile, in my mind's eye, I can practically see the clock ticking as the allowable time for me to stand over her nears its end. After a bit less than 5 minutes of chatting I say:
I tried to grab her hand but then realized she needed to grab her belongings, so I wound up moving first. She quickly followed. The logistics of where we sat were pretty good because we were at a 90-degree angle from each other (at the corner end of the bar). That meant our legs could touch "accidentally" and I could casually touch her.
During the course of our conversation, I find out that she is a flight attendant who is moving to a different home base right after New Year's. Flight attendant, moving soon, out alone on a Monday night. The alarm bells start going off in my head.
We banter and I find out that she loves music and is a singer/songwriter. I casually ask her about her neighborhood, during which she tells me that she lives in a rougher part of town where men always catcall her. She is answering my questions and does not shy away from my touch, but I never reach the hook point with her: I do not sexualize the conversation. Specifically, I should have flirted with her. Some ideas: you're a sexy flight attendant who's always seducing men in jazz clubs. Or a sexy songstress who makes men swoon over you with your sultry lyrics and melodies. Or, in response to her mention of catcalls, "I can imagine situations where you would enjoy being called those names" and look seductively in her eyes...
At a certain point she gets up and says she'll be back. She leaves her unfinished drink and goes outside, presumably to smoke.
After about a couple of minutes, the couple sitting to my right clear out. While I'm sitting and vibing to the music, a pretty blonde with long straight hair comes out of nowhere:
She sits down and I wait a couple of minutes, before deciding to start a friendly exchange.
And..... it's on. We get into some interesting banter. She is probably around my age (30). I really didn't have an opportunity to gauge her body (since she sat right next to me), but her face was pretty and she was a natural dirty blonde. I started to melt a little bit when she told me her name, because it's not common nowadays and is sexy.
My initial strategy was that it would be good to get some social momentum to talk with other girls while I wait for Sarah to come back. Initially, then, I didn't touch Gina and had no conscious intent of sexualizing our interaction because I feared it would mess up my chances with Sarah. Also, since she had sat next to me purely because there was an available seat, I was at a loss how I can express the fact that I was attracted to her after already setting a purely friendly vibe.
It was probably around 20 minutes before Sarah comes back. Now I have a dilemma on my hands. What do I do? Do I ignore Gina and focus all my attention on Sarah? Do I play it cool and introduce them to each other, since I found out that they were both regulars at this club? Do I continue to talk to them both?
I choose the latter. This turned out to be a mistake. That is because while both of the girls continued to talk to me, they weren't really investing in the conversation. I would ask Sarah some questions, we'd get into a back-and-forth that ran its course after a couple of minutes. Then there'd be a pause and I would ask Gina some questions. Rinse and repeat.
As I continue to speak with Gina, she is becoming increasingly more desirable as I peel the layers off to get a better understanding of who she is. Early in the convo, I found out that she was a programmer and correctly cold-read that she went to Carnegie Mellon, a prestigious computer science uni (after she told me she lived in Pittsburgh). Much later, to my surprise, she casually and unpretentiously reveals that she is also a concert pianist and had double-majored in music (along with cs), something that was severely discouraged at her school. An intelligent, sexy, down-to-earth girl who's both a computer scientist and a musician out alone on a Monday night. I was actually starting to get in awe of her, because she clearly was a top-notch woman (although to play devil's advocate, why would a top-notch woman be out on a Monday night without a man...).
I actually started to feel like I was lower value than her (not true, it's just I don't often meet women like her). My brain goes into overdrive thinking about hypothetical what-if nonsense like "What if we were actually together?", etc.
During this time, she keeps being distracted with texts. I think nothing of it and just talk with Sarah when this happens. At a certain point, though, Gina does apologize, saying "Sorry, I'm being totally rude, it's work-related".
She goes out to make a phone call at a certain point and I revert my attention back to Sarah. The vibe is off with her a little bit. We continue to banter, and I go for it, asking what she was planning to do after this. "Just take a cab home and go to sleep", she replies. And that's it, I don't push further! I've half-assed my statement of intent. I should have said, "well, it'd be fun to continue to hang out with you and close out the night". What prevented me was the fact that I had the feeling that we were still enjoying the music and it was risky to pull then. But given that Gina wasn't there, it would have been a good time to just go for it and try to leave with Sarah.
At this point, a black lady sits next to Sarah and initiates a conversation with her. Eventually, while talking, the black girl motions to me, as if to ask if Sarah and I are together. I take the initiative and introduce myself to her. We banter about random stuff and she explicitly asks me who I'm here with, to which I tell her the truth.
After Gina comes back, Sarah leaves after ordering a martini and goes up to the dance floor without saying anything. It's just Gina and me now. It's probably around 12:45 am and the bar closes at 1. So I go for broke and also ask Gina about late-night spots in this town where we could go, but she says she doesn't know any and says she's got to get to sleep, since she has work tomorrow.
The band finishes playing, the lights go on, and Gina gets up and walks towards the stage (probably to go to the bathroom). At this point, I realize that it's over. Andrea, the black lady, asks me if I'm going home with Gina. I dodge the question and just say I've met everyone here tonight. I'm starting to get up to leave. She motions for me to sit down so we can talk about it (I wasn't quite sure what there was to talk about.....). I tell her "the bar's closing down" and politely but curtly say farewell.
In the very least, I could have just gone up to Sarah at the very end and said what I wrote above, but I think I was genuinely scared of Gina seeing me do that. But the worst that could have happened would have been the same result that I got anyways!!
I was cursing myself the whole 40-minute walk back to where I was staying. I let these girls down, they were looking for someone! Of course, as cliche as it sounds, this was a very educational experience.
