LR Two date system success

[Fusion]

Hey guys, been a while since I posted a report. This is my first lay since becoming single, hopefully many more to come!

Matched with this girl I'll call 'L' at the end of November. Messaged her "Hey L pretty smile". She didn't respond until the beginning of January haha but that is where the conversation continues.

L: Hey! How are you?
L: (thanks btw )
L: Sorry for the late reply I suck at using this app
Fusion: Haha same, let's text ***-****

She texts me later that day.

L: Hey it's L from Tinder
F: Hey L how's the weekend been treating you?
L: I'm pretty sick so I'm mostly laying low at home! How about you?
F: Haha psh, bet you're doing vodka shots
L: I wish
L: Had some gin on new years ha
L: Are you doing vodka shots?

*Next Morning*

F: Haha nope I had an early morning
F: I don't really like getting to know people over text. Interested in grabbing a hot chocolate in the next few days?
L: I'm bad at it too

The next part of the conversation is just her adding my snapchat so we could see pics of each other. Then we set up the logistics for the date.

I show up for hot chocolate after she has already arrived and got something. I go and buy something and come back to sit down. The chairs were stupid in this place and were basically stools so I couldn't lean back. I sat with my elbows on the table and tried to keep as relaxed body language as possible. Made sure to keep strong eye contact, having L break eye contact more often than not. She was giving me positive body language such as leaning in, strong eye contact followed by breaking down and away, playing with hair and jewellery were some I noted. Anyway basically just deep dived and found out as much as I could about her. Whenever the conversation was dying down I would just look off into the distance and most times she would start it up again. After about an hour I decided it was time to go so I gave her a hug and left. Note that this was the first time we had touched.

Next evening she texts me.

L: How's your Friday going?
F: Pretty good what are you up to?
L: That's good! I'm drinking lots of wine and watching a horror movie with my best friend lol
L: What are you up to?
F: Watching shrooms? (inside joke) I'm currently watching the office. Super funny.
L: lol no we're watching the omen, it's a horror movie from the 70s about a kid who is actually satan
L: pretty great haha
L: She was watching that before I got here! Haven't gotten into it but heard good things

Next day

F: Haha L how can I trust your Netflix choices now
F: Hungover?
L: lol I make fantastic Netflix choices
L: You can definitely trust my weird tastes
L: Somehow not! Drank about a bottle of wine haha
F: Of course I cant just take your word for it haha no wasting wine
L: oh no never lol
L: What are you up to?
F: Just won my hockey game! What fun are you up to?

Next day

L: oh congrats!!!
L: plus dressing room beers? ha
L: I went to a part of a bachelorette party then went dancing at Union!
F: Of course, it was Saturday!
F: Sounds fun! How's your week looking? Thinking we get together
L: Ya that'd be nice! I'm free most nights other than Tuesday

Next day (Monday)

F: Wednesday night works for me. I'm thinking movie night
L: Yeah I'd be down!
L: Were you thinking your place?
F: Yup!

(Tuesday)

L: Cool! what time?
L: it's free week at the gym so I was thinking of doing a class at 645
F: No worries! Come on over once you're all ready

(Wednesday)

L: Perfect! you'll have to brainstorm a movie while you wait for me
F: So much pressure gimme a heads up later on about when you think you'll make it
L: Where do you live btw??? lol
L: My class should be done about 8
F: address cool, let me know when you're on your way
L: okay heading down now
F: sweet
L: k im here!

Bring her inside, lead her downstairs where I have Netflix set up. I end up choosing World War Z haha. She sits beside me but there is a small space between us. My arm is around her and I spend the whole time we talk either stroking her back or arm, or playing with her hair. We just talk about the movie and what not. I knew I needed to make a move so I was waiting for a period of prolonged eye contact. She was a bit nervous so that wasn't happening. After about an hour in I said fuck it and just lead her face into mine after she was looking into my eyes. She said "that was sudden". I acted like she didn't say anything and about two seconds later she is stroking my arm. The "that was sudden" comment was the most resistance I got. Made out for a few minutes on the couch then switched to my bedroom.

I think the sex was okay. I'm still trying to figure out how to make a girl consistently cum. Seems the things I do that some girls love others don't respond to at all. So it just comes down to practice I think haha.

So my question for this is how should I proceed next? My goal for this girl would be to turn her into a friends with benefits situation or possibly an open relationship.

 

[Howell]

Congratz Fusion. It sounds like this was a pretty smooth excursion. The main thing I'd comment on is that you could be a lot more efficient in the texting department (and in the "making a move" dept.), and also that she was asking for you to make a move early on, and you probably could have moved a whole lot faster (which always helps to make the relationship that much more dynamic and intense -- as opposed to neutral and meh).

L: She was watching that before I got here! Haven't gotten into it but heard good things

When she says this, it sounds like she's saying she'd rather be hanging out with you instead. Perhaps there's something contextually left out, but from the info I'm seeing, this is as close as you'll usually get from new girls basically saying "I want to get busy with you... tonight. Can you make it happen in a way that doesn't make me feel too easy?" Though, sometimes a girl will bait you into inviting her to do something so she can turn you down and gain power -- but that mostly depends on how highly she values you and her personality, both things that I don't have enough info about to make an accurate call.

So my question for this is how should I proceed next? My goal for this girl would be to turn her into a friends with benefits situation or possibly an open relationship.

It depends mostly on your guys' schedules probably. Text her a follow-up, soon after (maybe next day) saying something simple like you enjoyed hanging out with her, and not setting up a meet. Then you wait a few days, she may start contacting you -- which is ideal, as it means she's chasing -- or you may need to contact her.

I like to mix up sex locations early on. If you start out being really predictable (come over, fuck, chat, then leave), especially early on, she may back out early, figuring this isn't going to be anything particularly special (remember, all girls want to feel special). Perhaps cook something over at her place together or invite her into some underground tunnels or appropriate public location where you can get busy in a novel new way. If you're in Scandanavia, you could take her to a sauna. If somewhere on the coast, go to the beach.

Basically, I recommend you maintain that sense of early relationship adventure externally, as well as internally -- being sure to be a guy who is a lot of fun, easy to be around, reasonably challenging and somewhat cocky. And more technically, wait a few days after some light texting without inviting her to do anything. Either she engages you, or you come back about a week or so later and invite her to do something relatively spontaneous (within a day or two of the text). Based on her reply, you will get a good idea about how she's currently feeling about you, and you can then find the best way to proceed from that point.

Howell

 

[Fusion]

Thanks for the response Howell. I don't really disagree with anything you're saying. However due to logistics (both living at home) and it being cold as F here, it's going to be tough to switch things up. I'll see what I can do.

Here's an update for anyone interested:

So I ended up not texting her for 5 days, wanted to see if she would hit me up first.

Monday

Fusion: Hey L How did the weekend treat you?
L: Hey! it was okay ha ha I got sick again
L: how about you?
F: I was wondering how I got sick... haha other than that I cant complain.
F: how are the next few days looking for you?
L: oh no really??? im sorry! I swear I felt better last week
L: hopefully it was worth it
L: idk I think im gonna lay low for a few days till I feel better... I think im free Thursday evening tho!
F: i'll forgive you.... this time
F: pencil me in for Thurs!
L: sounds good i'll let you know if im less sick that day ha

Wednesday

L: Hey! can we reschedule tomorrow? sorry I forgot about some family stuff
L: free sunday eve?
F: tsk tsk.... sunday works
L: hehehe sorry
L: just making you wait so youre more excited to see me

Thursday

F: sneaky.... im going to have to keep my eye on you L

Sunday

L: hey hows your weekend going?
F: its been pretty good so far. you?
L: Good! busy with family wedding and stuff. My parents decided last night to invite people over for a dinner tonight -_- so if we got together it would have to be after dinner
L: im sorry about this! rough weekend for me
F: Im free later on, your cool points are safe for now
L: dinner just wrapped up! what do you want to do? Shall I come over?
F: yup that works!

She ended up coming over later on in the evening. Within 10 min she makes the comment "I cant stay late tonight". Haha. So I start escalating much quicker this time.

Sex was much better this time. After we were done she said something along the lines of "nobody ever makes me cum!" Right on.

Told her to text me when she got home. She had to stop by the drugstore to pick up some visine after I came in her eye, making it all red haha.

My text game with this girl is a bit beta in some places but it seems to be working as long as I'm just sprinkling it in here and there. I should note that never in the text exchange did we talk about plans. The first time it came up was when she said "shall I come over?" As the guy I suppose I should probably initiate that but I figured if she offered to come right over then I would know that we are on the same page for now.

Fusion

 

[Seppuku]

Hey Fusion,

Overall good job.

I show up for hot chocolate after she has already arrived and got something. I go and buy something and come back to sit down. The chairs were stupid in this place and were basically stools so I couldn't lean back. I sat with my elbows on the table and tried to keep as relaxed body language as possible. Made sure to keep strong eye contact, having L break eye contact more often than not. She was giving me positive body language such as leaning in, strong eye contact followed by breaking down and away, playing with hair and jewellery were some I noted. Anyway basically just deep dived and found out as much as I could about her. Whenever the conversation was dying down I would just look off into the distance and most times she would start it up again. After about an hour I decided it was time to go so I gave her a hug and left. Note that this was the first time we had touched.

It doesn't matter much what you discuss as long as she does most of the talking. What matters is the signals she sends. The body language signs are indeed very positive here. Note that it is in your direct interest to break the physical barrier and touch her as soon as possible. She needs this contact. You should have initiated touch at the beginning of the date. But OK, because she obviously likes you.

Things you can do: touch her abundantly, hands, arms, hair, belly... as long as it flows into the conversation. Then interrupt the touch. Check that she touches you back. Means she loved your touch and wants more. Or for some time, lean into her as she speaks, like if you want to hear her better. Then lean back. Check that she leans into you. Etc...

Bring her inside, lead her downstairs where I have Netflix set up. I end up choosing World War Z haha. She sits beside me but there is a small space between us. My arm is around her and I spend the whole time we talk either stroking her back or arm, or playing with her hair. We just talk about the movie and what not. I knew I needed to make a move so I was waiting for a period of prolonged eye contact. She was a bit nervous so that wasn't happening. After about an hour in I said fuck it and just lead her face into mine after she was looking into my eyes. She said "that was sudden". I acted like she didn't say anything and about two seconds later she is stroking my arm. The "that was sudden" comment was the most resistance I got. Made out for a few minutes on the couch then switched to my bedroom.

It's ok but you can improve the escalation so that there's no nervousness or awkwardness.

I think the sex was okay. I'm still trying to figure out how to make a girl consistently cum. Seems the things I do that some girls love others don't respond to at all. So it just comes down to practice I think haha.

Yes it tends to vary from one girl to another. Difficult to advise, but I stick to two principles: (1) hold myself the longest I can, and (2) be receptive to her to see what works and what doesn't.

Most of the time, the first time sex is just OK. It becomes good the second or third time, as we start to know each other. Well, you noticed the same on your second sex it seems...

So my question for this is how should I proceed next? My goal for this girl would be to turn her into a friends with benefits situation or possibly an open relationship.

Haha that's the interesting part.

First you need a second sex. In fact you already did, now. Before the second sex, she's not yet fully "yours" and she can easily eject herself.

After you had the second sex, you set the pace of meeting at most once a week. She will try all she can to rope you in, and do things like asking to stay over in your place, or meeting every two days. She will also try to make you do boyfriendish things, like going to cinema. No no no. You guys meet no more than once a week, at your place, to have sex. She'll try to make you say that you miss her, or other similar things. You escape. Continue to be unpredictable, don't always answer her text, don't be fully transparent about what you do when on your own. You're a challenge. But you give a little bit of what she wants, or else she autorejects.

If you manage to keep it like this for a while, and she stays around, then you can introduce the topic of open relationship.

Hope that helps...
Cheers,
Seppuku