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Two Insta Dates

S.S Can

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Sep 9, 2024
Messages
109
In New York again, I love this place. I was busy all day yesterday, but essentially had most of today free. My morning was taken up by something, I slept a little bit and hit the streets at 5 on a mission.

I'm walking across times square and see this attractive girl at a crosswalk on her phone, and instantly know the approach will work. I just open from the side and tell her that she's stunning, and then walk along with her.

S.S - Are you from here?

G- Yes, I just moved!

S.S - Where from?

G- Israel.

S.S - Tired of ducking missiles?

G - Nooooo I came to focus on music!

S.S - Wow! Moved to the city to follow your dreams (joking tone)

G- yeah! What about you? (laughing)

S.S - Let's stop over here, (pointing to the side of the street) I'm only here for a day! (explains why I'm here which is also related to music)

G- No way! That's awesome!

(by the way I'm just trying to convey general sentiment here, these aren't exact quotations.)

S.S - yeah, show me some of your music!

I listen to it and I'm genuinely impressed, and then ask her what she's up to for the day.

G- Shopping at Macy's and then maybe meeting a friend!

S.S - Okay, well I'm gonna go grab smoothies right now you should come.

G - Okay!

We go to get smoothies (I pay), and then sit down and I'm trying to deep dive but it's like pulling teeth. I play her some of my music and she's very clearly impressed by my immense talent, and asks how old I am. I'm 22, she tells me she's 27.

We sit down and I run the cube on her, while our legs are touching. I'm trying to think up ways to sex talk but I can't figure out a way to smoothly transition. The body is willing, but the mind is weak. I decide to bounce because the smoothie bar is loud and I can't escalate much more than grazing her legs, and I tell her lets go.

We start walking, and while we're mid conversation I bring up an earlier thread about the type of music I listen to and tell her that we're gonna go listen and then return to the conversation topic. I'm describing psychology, the shadow and jung.

We get to my hotel and we begin to walk in. I get to the elevator and she says wait! I don't know what you're thinking but I don't want to do that.

S.S - What? Listen to music?(look at her with my big doe eyes)
G - I don't know, I think we should make music together and that's all!

then she IG closes me and that's that.

I think with this one, I didn't focus on arousal enough, but I don't know. Total time was 58 minutes.

Next one is outside the New York Library, which is by the way one of the best spots to game here in my opinion. This girl was super reserved.

I walk up to this girl and ask her if I could use a chair that her stuff is on.

S.S - Can I use that?

LG - Sure (clears her stuff)

S.S - Much better (said mischievously while I plop down)

LG-(laughs)

S.S - What's your name?

LG- Library Girl

S.S - You're a tourist?

LG - Yes, I'm from poland.

S.S - How long are you here?

LG - I've been here 2 weeks and I have 1 left?

Basic talk about the city, how she likes it, and how she's been before. I'm amazed she's solo traveling but I don't bring that up. I ask her to go get juice, she says yes. Fluff talk on the way, then we sit next to eachother at the juice bar (I pay :mad:)

We're very close, and I begin just basically asking her about her interests while touching her rings and escalating physically. She's complying, we leave the juice bar and go sit down.

At this point I'm caressing her hand, and then lift her leg onto mine and just continue talking. We get really close and I'm essentially just looking at her during silence and escalating tension. She keeps looking away. At some point, music is discussed and I tell her that we can go listen, and she says no.

I tell her let's go check out times square (where my hotel is) and she says yes, but she has to catch a train in an hour and 30 minutes. We're walking and at one point I tell her to give me her phone but she mishears me and holds my hand, and I get basically right outside of my place before I lean up against a wall and start talking to her again. I pull her in and she's turned away, but complies mostly.

My hands under her shirt touching her back, and we're talking about something or other when we kind of trail off and I just look at her. I don't think with her I can just walk in without the same situation transpiring, so I go to kiss her and she turns away.

LG - noooo it's too fast.
S.S - too fast? I leave tomorrow!
LG - still... it's too fast. already i've done too much with you. I don't know if you are a murderer or a rapist or something. you're not supposed to go places with people you don't know. I don't know why I went with you for juice!
S.S - you don't know why you went?
LG-you're charismatic.
S.S - oh you went with me because i'm charismatic, charming and handsome?
LG - I didn't say that.
S.S - oh... you were just thinking it. I guess it's because your english is not so good.

some back and forth banter like this, with me pulling her in and telling her that she keeps avoiding eye contact.

LG - because eye contact is for deep connections, and we are separating in 20 minutes!
S.S - That means it's even more important to have a deep connection!

Then I start to reason with her.

S.S - okay, so a kiss is too fast?
LG - it's too fast!
S.S - what about a kiss on the cheek?
LG - and then what will you ask for?

wtf these girls are getting smarter

S.S - then what if I kiss you on the cheek?
LG - nooo
S.S - why? will your head explode?
LG - yes.
S.S -So polish girls head's explode when you kiss them on the cheek.
LG - yes.
S.S - so if you kiss me on the cheek will my head explode?
LG - I don't know I've never done it!

S.S - you've never been with any foreign guys?
LG - no.
S.S - Then what are you traveling for?!?
S.S- Okay what if I kiss your hand?
LG - that's fine. (kiss her hand)
S.S - and what if I kiss your shoulder?
LG - maybe. (kiss her shoulder)

I guess I should have kept going with this? I just fractionated out and told her that we should at least get out of the rain and just listen to music. She said it was irresponsible so she can't. She said that she would kiss my cheek and leave and I said okay. She kisses my cheek and starts to go and I ask where she's going? She says she has to leave cause she said she would and that's that.

I think with this one I didn't build enough comfort so maybe the exact opposite problem. If I wanted to set positive frames with these two, what would have been the ideal routines I should have utilized?
 

KJ Francis

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Mar 27, 2023
Messages
1,136
Hey, nice work. Don't put much stake in my words here, but just some thoughts...

I wonder if you simply got unlucky that the first girl was also a musician. It could have put your professional value to her higher than anything else. Hence "I think we should make music together and that's all! then she IG closes me". So when she mentions being in the city for music, I would have hidden this commonality from her.

With the second girl, I think this was a mistake below:

I'm amazed she's solo traveling but I don't bring that up. I ask her to go get juice, she says yes.
Here you were in the qualification stage before the move to comfort. But you chose not to qualify her.

So you end up rushing the timeline by not having her earn your interest. Then when you are seated in the comfort stage, you are escalating fast despite the lack of comfort, trust, connection (including purely sexual based connection), etc.
We're very close, and I begin just basically asking her about her interests while touching her rings and escalating physically. She's complying, we leave the juice bar and go sit down.

At this point I'm caressing her hand, and then lift her leg onto mine and just continue talking. We get really close and I'm essentially just looking at her during silence and escalating tension.

So you are "basically asking her about her interests" while escalating. It is definitely good to be touching her throughout, but perhaps better to get a little deeper in the topics to hit more emotional threads (including deeply sexual), and escalating sort of in response to the things she says (as compliance rewards) rather than a blanket escalation that is simply running in tandem. It's sort of like kissing a girl early in a club and then she flees because you're just some random guy who spiked her arousal that she has no connection with.

This is why I say don't put too much stake in what I say because obviously guys can do quick bathroom pulls and stuff. But I wonder how much of that is just screening for the right girls.

She keeps looking away. At some point, music is discussed and I tell her that we can go listen, and she says no.
Then you end up with her discomfort (looking away) and attempting the pull regardless shortly after.

In this interview, he talks about how psychologists do not measure comfort. They measure DISCOMFORT. And the goal is not necessarily to build comfort. It is to be responsive to her discomfort and do things to calibrate accordingly in order to remove the discomfort.


Maybe some verbal sexual frames and second gen verbals (open minded, nonjudgmental, secret society stuff), etc. could have helped too. Given your time constraints and going for fast pulls here, you could build these frames into the qualification stage (early on, before moving to the insta-date). So you are then screening her on things like adventurousness, and screening out the time wasters.

After all you are in NYC here, so every minute you spend could be with another girl around the corner.
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

S.S Can

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Sep 9, 2024
Messages
109
So you are "basically asking her about her interests" while escalating. It is definitely good to be touching her throughout, but perhaps better to get a little deeper in the topics to hit more emotional threads (including deeply sexual), and escalating sort of in response to the things she says (as compliance rewards) rather than a blanket escalation that is simply running in tandem. It's sort of like kissing a girl early in a club and then she flees because you're just some random guy who spiked her arousal that she has no connection with.
That makes sense. Usually my problem I guess is doing too much qualifying without rewarding so I went the other way here.
 

KJ Francis

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Mar 27, 2023
Messages
1,136
That makes sense. Usually my problem I guess is doing too much qualifying without rewarding so I went the other way here.
Yeah I think it all has to go hand in hand. Like before the instadate, the screen is something like "oh you're traveling solo... you must be quite adventurous"... then after she answers your qualify her (which is a verbal reward, mixed with physical touch reward), like "oh it's nice to meet someone who takes risk and finds excitement in exploring the unknown" or whatever

anyways that is pretty awesome you got two girls instadated in one outing, and they both bounced with you a couple times
 
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