- Joined
- Jan 2, 2013
- Messages
- 100
I work for a non-profit organization, and there’s this gorgeous girl who works with me (in another department) who I’ve had my eye on for awhile. When she got hired last August, it became common knowledge that she was engaged, so I kept my interactions to a few hellos and left it there.
After Christmas, I was tasked with photographing her for a t-shirt marketing campaign to drum up donations. I set up the shoot with lights and wardrobe and everything (my first real model shoot) and made her comfortable, made her laugh, and got some amazing shots (I even found her “good side”). The next week, I had to do another shoot with her, so this time I did a little deep diving in between shots (as much as I could). She was even more comfortable this time and let me adjust her clothes and even play with her hair (which I teased her about, and she teased back).
I had figured she was still engaged, but I was beginning to doubt it, and had made sure to keep my interactions open ended. The next week, the few times I saw her I made her laugh with my random comments, and she was really excited to see the pics. The fourth post x-mas week was her birthday, so I wished her well. And here’s where I picked up some interest from her. At a school assembly (we also run a charter school), I was going around taking photos of the kids. I sit near her to snap some kids close by, and she leans over to ask me how I’m doing. I respond and then play peek-a-boo with the boy at her feet as I try to take his picture…which she loves and starts giggling. After she wins a staff award and I take her photo, she tells me that she was really glad I took it. Later that day, I pop into a meeting with her and the other teachers to get something and when I leave (just as its ending), she seems to leave the room with me (and smiles at something I say).
The next day is a work event, so I have to cover it with pics and video, which requires me to be everywhere for all hours. She greets me in the morning and we make small talk that makes her smile. Later, I run into her, chat again, and when I have to go back to work, she tells me to “Have fun.” During the event, she asks me if I’ve taken any good pictures. Towards the close, I have to run upstairs but can’t leave my equipment, so I run a little compliance and have her watch my stuff. I wanted to talk to her more, but as soon as the event ended, she left.
The next week, I ask her if she had fun at the event and she asks about my weekend. So far, so good. Next day, I happen to run into her with a class and take some class photos (which she thanks me for, because she hadn’t planned the day and it bought her some time). The next day, I need her staff award info, so I go up to her classroom and get it, where I make a comment on a candy she likes (she wrote it for the kids on a class poster) and drop that I like the same candy. By now, I’m convinced that her engagement fell through last fall (there were hints), and I ask her coworker/friend if she’s available, to which she tells me that she thinks she is.
Of course, here is where she starts acting differently around me. I sense a little distance in her for a few days, like she has something on her mind. The following week, I tell her that her hair looks nice, to which she says “Thank you” with genuine surprise. I’m only partly sure that she might be interested now, so I decide two days later, on Valentine’s Day, to give her her favorite candy as a way to gauge her interest. She’s way too swamped during the day, and seems a little dismissive when I ask her even some basic work related stuff. But the next day, I’m able to catch her alone in her classroom, and I give her the candy and tell her to enjoy the rest of her day. She seems genuinely surprised and thankful.
Then, the next week, the few times I see her, she acts as if I’m not even there. I learn new info from her friend that she apparently has been seeing someone for a short while (he sent her roses on Valentine’s Day) and that she was a little unsure of my gesture with the candy, saying that she wasn’t sure she saw it going in that direction. I was disappointed if not surprised, so I decide to respect her and back off with some of my interactions. That Saturday, during a staff meeting, she seems a little more receptive to me as I’m getting pictures and even says “bye” to me for the first time in a long time. Last week, I caught her looking over at me during assembly (as she has done in the past). But it still seems like I can barely squeeze a “hello” out of her.
I’m a little confused at why she went that cold toward me, barring the fact that she probably wants to save face post engagement breakup, especially if she’s seeing someone new. Our separate schedules have really made interactions difficult (I’m talking 30 seconds a day if I’m lucky), but I feel like I’ve made the most out of each of them (and put in very little effort at the start), and I only started making real moves when I sensed that she was interested in me. I really don’t buy that she was just being friendly, as she seemed to be exhibiting classic crush behavior, and to some extent, still is. Is it possible that I completely misinterpreted her behavior toward me? My question is: how fast should you act with a girl who’s coming off an engagement? And how sensitive (and fast) do you have to be in the work environment? I'll be taking her photos again this week, so I'll see what happens.
After Christmas, I was tasked with photographing her for a t-shirt marketing campaign to drum up donations. I set up the shoot with lights and wardrobe and everything (my first real model shoot) and made her comfortable, made her laugh, and got some amazing shots (I even found her “good side”). The next week, I had to do another shoot with her, so this time I did a little deep diving in between shots (as much as I could). She was even more comfortable this time and let me adjust her clothes and even play with her hair (which I teased her about, and she teased back).
I had figured she was still engaged, but I was beginning to doubt it, and had made sure to keep my interactions open ended. The next week, the few times I saw her I made her laugh with my random comments, and she was really excited to see the pics. The fourth post x-mas week was her birthday, so I wished her well. And here’s where I picked up some interest from her. At a school assembly (we also run a charter school), I was going around taking photos of the kids. I sit near her to snap some kids close by, and she leans over to ask me how I’m doing. I respond and then play peek-a-boo with the boy at her feet as I try to take his picture…which she loves and starts giggling. After she wins a staff award and I take her photo, she tells me that she was really glad I took it. Later that day, I pop into a meeting with her and the other teachers to get something and when I leave (just as its ending), she seems to leave the room with me (and smiles at something I say).
The next day is a work event, so I have to cover it with pics and video, which requires me to be everywhere for all hours. She greets me in the morning and we make small talk that makes her smile. Later, I run into her, chat again, and when I have to go back to work, she tells me to “Have fun.” During the event, she asks me if I’ve taken any good pictures. Towards the close, I have to run upstairs but can’t leave my equipment, so I run a little compliance and have her watch my stuff. I wanted to talk to her more, but as soon as the event ended, she left.
The next week, I ask her if she had fun at the event and she asks about my weekend. So far, so good. Next day, I happen to run into her with a class and take some class photos (which she thanks me for, because she hadn’t planned the day and it bought her some time). The next day, I need her staff award info, so I go up to her classroom and get it, where I make a comment on a candy she likes (she wrote it for the kids on a class poster) and drop that I like the same candy. By now, I’m convinced that her engagement fell through last fall (there were hints), and I ask her coworker/friend if she’s available, to which she tells me that she thinks she is.
Of course, here is where she starts acting differently around me. I sense a little distance in her for a few days, like she has something on her mind. The following week, I tell her that her hair looks nice, to which she says “Thank you” with genuine surprise. I’m only partly sure that she might be interested now, so I decide two days later, on Valentine’s Day, to give her her favorite candy as a way to gauge her interest. She’s way too swamped during the day, and seems a little dismissive when I ask her even some basic work related stuff. But the next day, I’m able to catch her alone in her classroom, and I give her the candy and tell her to enjoy the rest of her day. She seems genuinely surprised and thankful.
Then, the next week, the few times I see her, she acts as if I’m not even there. I learn new info from her friend that she apparently has been seeing someone for a short while (he sent her roses on Valentine’s Day) and that she was a little unsure of my gesture with the candy, saying that she wasn’t sure she saw it going in that direction. I was disappointed if not surprised, so I decide to respect her and back off with some of my interactions. That Saturday, during a staff meeting, she seems a little more receptive to me as I’m getting pictures and even says “bye” to me for the first time in a long time. Last week, I caught her looking over at me during assembly (as she has done in the past). But it still seems like I can barely squeeze a “hello” out of her.
I’m a little confused at why she went that cold toward me, barring the fact that she probably wants to save face post engagement breakup, especially if she’s seeing someone new. Our separate schedules have really made interactions difficult (I’m talking 30 seconds a day if I’m lucky), but I feel like I’ve made the most out of each of them (and put in very little effort at the start), and I only started making real moves when I sensed that she was interested in me. I really don’t buy that she was just being friendly, as she seemed to be exhibiting classic crush behavior, and to some extent, still is. Is it possible that I completely misinterpreted her behavior toward me? My question is: how fast should you act with a girl who’s coming off an engagement? And how sensitive (and fast) do you have to be in the work environment? I'll be taking her photos again this week, so I'll see what happens.
