- Joined
- Sep 14, 2013
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- 1,016
FR: unexpectedly friendzoned? Did I show too much value as a player and became unattainable?
So I went on this date today with a girl who is very inexperienced. Before I went on this date, I was with another girl who I had great connection with and we were holding hands by the end of that date. I would have brought her home if it wasn't for this date with this other girl. Anyway, I was running late and arrived at the cafe to see her sitting at a table. I greeted her warmly and ordered my drink then sat down. I did my usual thing. Just chat and have fun. But she kept asking me "do you do this a lot?" I just said "yes" and shrugged like it's no big deal. "I thought it's normal that people do this." Then she was like "no haha most guys don't walk up to girls and do things like that.". This is where I think things get a little tricky.
Her: "so when was your last gf?"
Me: "like a proper gf?"
Her: "haha is there an improper gf?"
Me: "haha well I mean...I don't know how to explain that haha"
Her: "like a fling?"
Me: "haha yea...maybe about a couple of months ago" (it was actually about 3 weeks from my last lay...but I didn't want to seem too player-ish)
Her: "what?!" she looked surprised.
Then I asked about her past experience with boys. No one has ever asked her out. She had a crush on a guy for 8 years. She has next to zero guy friends. So I can understand why she was interested in my dating life lol. Then I told her: "why do no guy ask you out? You're so pretty!" She smiled and said she didn't know why either.
Then she kept asking me "if most girls respond to me." I told her "oh it depends on my mood. If I'm in a good mood, we generally have a good time." She then mentioned a friend who I approached before but can't remember.
Her: "so this is like your thing huh?"
Me: "haha hmm well it's nothing. I'm super shy and this is my first date in 5 years"
Her: "hahaha yea right!"
Note to self: never talk about pick up when you're seducing a girl.
Anyway, we still had a good conversation. Then I decided to move things forward.
Me; "wannna go for a walk?"
Her: "It's quite cold outside."
True...I changed topic. The vibe was still good. Then I tried for the pull. Told her to come over and I'll show her how to do painting at my house. She thought about it and said next time. Feeling a little defeated, but moved on in the conversation.
Then she told me.."It's good to have a guy friend because guys are so confusing."
Huh? What?
Me: "Do you have a guy friend?"
Her: "yea...well like there's this guy who kept sending mixed signal to my friend. and we can't figure out what he wants."
Me: "ahh right..."
Me; "well I like you though"
Her: "huh?"
I smiled and looked at her.
I spoke slower; "well I like you though...I like how you're so open and warm."
She smiled and blushed a little: "Yea I like to just tell people what I think."
Me;" mmhmm...I like that!"
Then it was about time to go. We both got up and walked out of the cafe.
Her: "hey send me a message and add me on facebook...because I don't usually have credits on my phone."
Me: "sure what's your name?"
I pulled out my phone and she added herself.
Lesson learned
1. more man-to-woman communication - eye contact (mission 5. I noticed my eye contact wasn't that strong on this date . I think I slipped a little), Physical escalation (couldn't really escalate at the cafe but I think that's a minor thing),
2. Don't talk about pickup. or need to calibrate because this could show too much value and make you seem unattainable.
One question though. I'm surprised my man-to-woman vibe wasn't clear with this girl, whereas with the girl on my previous date, I didn't even have to do much! Anyone else experience this?
Thanks for reading this! Any advice is appreciated!
So I went on this date today with a girl who is very inexperienced. Before I went on this date, I was with another girl who I had great connection with and we were holding hands by the end of that date. I would have brought her home if it wasn't for this date with this other girl. Anyway, I was running late and arrived at the cafe to see her sitting at a table. I greeted her warmly and ordered my drink then sat down. I did my usual thing. Just chat and have fun. But she kept asking me "do you do this a lot?" I just said "yes" and shrugged like it's no big deal. "I thought it's normal that people do this." Then she was like "no haha most guys don't walk up to girls and do things like that.". This is where I think things get a little tricky.
Her: "so when was your last gf?"
Me: "like a proper gf?"
Her: "haha is there an improper gf?"
Me: "haha well I mean...I don't know how to explain that haha"
Her: "like a fling?"
Me: "haha yea...maybe about a couple of months ago" (it was actually about 3 weeks from my last lay...but I didn't want to seem too player-ish)
Her: "what?!" she looked surprised.
Then I asked about her past experience with boys. No one has ever asked her out. She had a crush on a guy for 8 years. She has next to zero guy friends. So I can understand why she was interested in my dating life lol. Then I told her: "why do no guy ask you out? You're so pretty!" She smiled and said she didn't know why either.
Then she kept asking me "if most girls respond to me." I told her "oh it depends on my mood. If I'm in a good mood, we generally have a good time." She then mentioned a friend who I approached before but can't remember.
Her: "so this is like your thing huh?"
Me: "haha hmm well it's nothing. I'm super shy and this is my first date in 5 years"
Her: "hahaha yea right!"
Note to self: never talk about pick up when you're seducing a girl.
Anyway, we still had a good conversation. Then I decided to move things forward.
Me; "wannna go for a walk?"
Her: "It's quite cold outside."
True...I changed topic. The vibe was still good. Then I tried for the pull. Told her to come over and I'll show her how to do painting at my house. She thought about it and said next time. Feeling a little defeated, but moved on in the conversation.
Then she told me.."It's good to have a guy friend because guys are so confusing."
Huh? What?
Me: "Do you have a guy friend?"
Her: "yea...well like there's this guy who kept sending mixed signal to my friend. and we can't figure out what he wants."
Me: "ahh right..."
Me; "well I like you though"
Her: "huh?"
I smiled and looked at her.
I spoke slower; "well I like you though...I like how you're so open and warm."
She smiled and blushed a little: "Yea I like to just tell people what I think."
Me;" mmhmm...I like that!"
Then it was about time to go. We both got up and walked out of the cafe.
Her: "hey send me a message and add me on facebook...because I don't usually have credits on my phone."
Me: "sure what's your name?"
I pulled out my phone and she added herself.
Lesson learned
1. more man-to-woman communication - eye contact (mission 5. I noticed my eye contact wasn't that strong on this date . I think I slipped a little), Physical escalation (couldn't really escalate at the cafe but I think that's a minor thing),
2. Don't talk about pickup. or need to calibrate because this could show too much value and make you seem unattainable.
One question though. I'm surprised my man-to-woman vibe wasn't clear with this girl, whereas with the girl on my previous date, I didn't even have to do much! Anyone else experience this?
Thanks for reading this! Any advice is appreciated!