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FR  unexpectedly friendzoned? Did I show too much value as a player and became u

Smith

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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FR: unexpectedly friendzoned? Did I show too much value as a player and became unattainable?

So I went on this date today with a girl who is very inexperienced. Before I went on this date, I was with another girl who I had great connection with and we were holding hands by the end of that date. I would have brought her home if it wasn't for this date with this other girl. Anyway, I was running late and arrived at the cafe to see her sitting at a table. I greeted her warmly and ordered my drink then sat down. I did my usual thing. Just chat and have fun. But she kept asking me "do you do this a lot?" I just said "yes" and shrugged like it's no big deal. "I thought it's normal that people do this." Then she was like "no haha most guys don't walk up to girls and do things like that.". This is where I think things get a little tricky.
Her: "so when was your last gf?"
Me: "like a proper gf?"
Her: "haha is there an improper gf?"
Me: "haha well I mean...I don't know how to explain that haha"
Her: "like a fling?"
Me: "haha yea...maybe about a couple of months ago" (it was actually about 3 weeks from my last lay...but I didn't want to seem too player-ish)
Her: "what?!" she looked surprised.

Then I asked about her past experience with boys. No one has ever asked her out. She had a crush on a guy for 8 years. She has next to zero guy friends. So I can understand why she was interested in my dating life lol. Then I told her: "why do no guy ask you out? You're so pretty!" She smiled and said she didn't know why either.
Then she kept asking me "if most girls respond to me." I told her "oh it depends on my mood. If I'm in a good mood, we generally have a good time." She then mentioned a friend who I approached before but can't remember.
Her: "so this is like your thing huh?"
Me: "haha hmm well it's nothing. I'm super shy and this is my first date in 5 years"
Her: "hahaha yea right!"

Note to self: never talk about pick up when you're seducing a girl.

Anyway, we still had a good conversation. Then I decided to move things forward.
Me; "wannna go for a walk?"
Her: "It's quite cold outside."
True...I changed topic. The vibe was still good. Then I tried for the pull. Told her to come over and I'll show her how to do painting at my house. She thought about it and said next time. Feeling a little defeated, but moved on in the conversation.
Then she told me.."It's good to have a guy friend because guys are so confusing."
Huh? What?
Me: "Do you have a guy friend?"
Her: "yea...well like there's this guy who kept sending mixed signal to my friend. and we can't figure out what he wants."
Me: "ahh right..."
Me; "well I like you though"
Her: "huh?"
I smiled and looked at her.
I spoke slower; "well I like you though...I like how you're so open and warm."
She smiled and blushed a little: "Yea I like to just tell people what I think."
Me;" mmhmm...I like that!"

Then it was about time to go. We both got up and walked out of the cafe.
Her: "hey send me a message and add me on facebook...because I don't usually have credits on my phone."
Me: "sure what's your name?"
I pulled out my phone and she added herself.

Lesson learned
1. more man-to-woman communication - eye contact (mission 5. I noticed my eye contact wasn't that strong on this date . I think I slipped a little), Physical escalation (couldn't really escalate at the cafe but I think that's a minor thing),
2. Don't talk about pickup. or need to calibrate because this could show too much value and make you seem unattainable.

One question though. I'm surprised my man-to-woman vibe wasn't clear with this girl, whereas with the girl on my previous date, I didn't even have to do much! Anyone else experience this?
Thanks for reading this! Any advice is appreciated!
 

HellAtlantic

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Re: FR: unexpectedly friendzoned? Did I show too much value as a player and beca

Your dating logistics were awful bro. So you have a great connection with the girl from the first date but don't pull and pass up likely sex because you scheduled a date on the same day? Why do that? You then put your eggs in one basket and bet on the 2nd girl and try to pull her. What if the first date was going so well she was practically throwing herself at you and you wind up having sex and it's great and she wants to keep banging - you gonna end that short just to try to maybe get sex again from someone else and put in all the work when it was already in front of you?

My go to reply these days for anything that seems like "we're friends" is "I believe if there's even just a little bit of attraction between two ppl they can be friendly but never actually be friends." I would then reiterate how we aren't gonna work as friends and I have no desire to just be friends with a girl. I've friendzoned myself once with someone I thought would've banged and there was just too much sexual tension, I wouldn't put myself thru that again so I'm always keen to nip that shit in the bud.

Schedule your dates better next time!
 

Smith

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
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Messages
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Re: FR: unexpectedly friendzoned? Did I show too much value as a player and beca

HellAtlantic said:
our dating logistics were awful bro. So you have a great connection with the girl from the first date but don't pull and pass up likely sex because you scheduled a date on the same day? Why do that? You then put your eggs in one basket and bet on the 2nd girl and try to pull her. What if the first date was going so well she was practically throwing herself at you and you wind up having sex and it's great and she wants to keep banging - you gonna end that short just to try to maybe get sex again from someone else and put in all the work when it was already in front of you?

oh that wasn't a first date with the first girl lol That was a 3rd date. I've pulled her home before in the previous two dates and she was very inexperienced and uncomfortable with anything pass cuddling. So I thought I'll just do a short date with her and not invite her home this time. She messaged me first yesterday to schedule another date. So all good lol Plus my schedule is pretty full. Either I see the 2nd girl yesterday or she'll have to wait another week.

Yea I hope I nipped that friendzone thing in the bud, but fk it. Learned from this one. Never doubt yourself on a date again.
 

HellAtlantic

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 1, 2015
Messages
301
Re: FR: unexpectedly friendzoned? Did I show too much value as a player and beca

Oops my bad I must've misread your post!
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers
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