FR "Unicorn"

[Bboy100]

So, I've achieved a state of mostly outcome independence. When I get a girl's number, I mostly forgot about her until I actually go on a first date. And even if the first date goes well and/or I fuck her, I can usually take her or leave her (unless it becomes an LTR which is a whole different ballgame). The exception to this is what Chase calls "unicorn girls". That is to say, she's both very physically attractive, and she seems to have a good personality/has her life together etc. In other words, she's a "perfect 10" for lack of a better description.

I met a girl who based on first impressions ) was like this a few weeks ago. She was sitting alone on a bench on campus. I had some time to kill between classes so I walked up and introduced myself. We had a 30-45 min long conversation. I found out she
- Just transferred here (my university) from Santa Barbra.
- She's a vegan (not necessarily good or bad)
- She's Christian. But she's relatively laid back about it (i.e. she's not the "I won't have sex till we're married type girl).
- She loves to travel (big plus in my book)
- She's very intelligent
- She hates LA and the culture there. This is a good sign that she's not superficial
- We share a mutual disdain for Trump.
- She doesn't party/drink too much. But she's also not a prude.
- As far as mental health was concerned, there are no Red Flags so far
- She's stunningly beautiful. Like, she could be on the cover of a magazine.

But most importantly, I felt like we had this inexplicable chemistry. I hadn't felt so strongly about a girl I had just met in a long time. <--To me, this is what made her a 10/10. By the end of the conversation, I had her chasing me so hard that she actually asked me for my number. She also took the time to find and add me on Facebook later that day. She also never actually texted me.

The next day, over FB:
Me: Hey, so are you free to hang out next week? <--We had already made plans to hang out in person.
Her: Yes!! I'm sure I have some free time at some point!! We could always grab coffee in between classes!!
Me: Sure, I'd be down for that! I have a gap between 12:50-2:30. Or we could go to [x place] sometime after school next Monday or Tuesday
Her: Yeah, that would be super fun! maybe Tuesday but I'll let you know if I have too much hw
Me: Ok, sounds good! Also, did you ever text me? My phone is known for missing some texts.
Her: [No Response]
[Four Days Later]
Me: Hey, did you ever figure out if you'll have time to hang out tomorrow?
Her: ah I'm so sorry I've been incredibly busy! I totally forgot to text you now that I look back! My text never sent!! I'll text you right now! I think this week is actually going to be a little crazy for me but for sure next week will work for me
Me: It's all good! I've done that on multiple occasions haha. Just let me know when you've sent it cause my service can be inconsistent sometimes! And yeah sure, next week works for me
[3 hours later she sends me a text]
Her: Hey, its [Her name]
Me: Hey! So I'll text you this weekend and we'll figure something out for next week?
Her: [No response]

So, the following weekend, randomly ran into her at my buddies party. I smiled and waved at her and she ran up to me all smiling and giggly. We talked for a while, she introduced me to her friends etc. She excitedly waved them down and said "guys! This is the guy I was telling you about!". Instantly, all her friends turned bubbly and doe eyed too. Ironically, this left me in kind of a tough spot. I didn't want to seem like I was just being social and that I did want to spend time specifically with her. So I largely ignored her friends. I still exchanged a few words with them, but I mostly focused my attention on her. In hindsight, this was a mistake. She already knew I was interested in her. So it would have been better to just charm her friends as well. That way I'll have already won them over and she'll be even more excited about me. Also, it was just kinda bad timing. Cause it was just as all my friends were leaving. So I kinda looked like I didn't know anyone there. Luckily, I mentioned that I knew the house owner. Whereas she just randomly happened to find this house. So that was at least a little bit of social proof lol. Good news is, she mentioned in conversation (without me asking her) that she would finally be free to hang out after she finishes her exams this Wednesday. So despite my many mistakes, it seems I was still in the game?

Anyways, after a while, she asked me to come dance with her and her friends. Thing is, she was in "party mode" so I wasn't dancing with her. Just next to her. And I had paid little to no attention to her friends. So it felt a little strange dancing by myself with a group of people I didn't really know (all my friends were outside at this point). I left shortly after. I didn't even say goodbye to her. Another bad move lol.

I texted her today (two days later) to confirm that we're going to hang out on Wednesday or Thursday. She hasn't replied.

Here's another big issue I face: I don't know long to wait between texts with girls. I hate playing the "lets wait a few hours in between texts to not come off as too eager game". Cause when I do that, then she waits 4 hours, then I wait 6....and so on. Its just a pain in the ass. So instead, I've gotten to a point where I just text girls as soon as I can. Which sometimes means texting her 5 or 10 mins after I get a response from her. Problem is, that makes me come off as eager? Cause sometimes, even when I reply like, 10 mins later, girls will STILL wait 3+ hours to reply. Just...texting in general has become super annoying. Any ideas on what to do here?

A second important point: Had this been most other girls, I wouldn't have written this FR. I wouldn't give a shit at all. So even though I "mostly" have outcome independence, there are a few specific girls who sometimes get me chasing, which in turn repels them. Thing is, I feel like truly attractive women are kinda rare. Its not about taking more action or reframing anything or getting better at game. A high quality girl is just as rare as a high quality guy. So naturally, I will be at least a little more invested in this type of girl than I normally would. How do I solve this dilemma?

Final Thoughts: I want to stay positive, so I'll say this: Even though I doubt it will work out with this particular girl, the fact of the matter is, prior to my previous relationship, girls like her wouldn't even look at me. So the fact that I even had her attention for so long is a success. I'm starting to see shapes in the dark. And at this point, I'm honestly more relationship oriented anyways. So I really only need to get one girl like her. I don't need to sleep with a bunch of them. Sooner or later, I'll get there!

Cheers!

 

[Raqimus]

A little too aloof amigo. Also you keep pressing her when she says she'll let you know. So at the start it was too much which was why she went ghost, then at the party you were a little too aloof. She saw through your mask.

 

[Bboy100]

A little too aloof amigo. Also you keep pressing her when she says she'll let you know. So at the start it was too much which was why she went ghost, then at the party you were a little too aloof. She saw through your mask.

Yeah, my text game needs a lot of work. Its the one thing I haven't really been able to figure out. A lot of girls seem to lose interest if we only have conversations discussing logistics. Especially if she keeps putting it off and I keep having to reengage her. My dilemma is that if I don't ask a girl again via text, she usually just won't get back to me.

But what do you mean by being too aloof at the party? The way I see it, I wasn't aloof at all. When I was with her, I was engaging her in a warm, honest and completely kind way. I gave her more attention than the rest of her friends. I guess the only mistake was that I left unannounced at the end.

 

[Raqimus]

A little too aloof amigo. Also you keep pressing her when she says she'll let you know. So at the start it was too much which was why she went ghost, then at the party you were a little too aloof. She saw through your mask.

Yeah, my text game needs a lot of work. Its the one thing I haven't really been able to figure out. A lot of girls seem to lose interest if we only have conversations discussing logistics. Especially if she keeps putting it off and I keep having to reengage her. My dilemma is that if I don't ask a girl again via text, she usually just won't get back to me.

But what do you mean by being too aloof at the party? The way I see it, I wasn't aloof at all. When I was with her, I was engaging her in a warm, honest and completely kind way. I gave her more attention than the rest of her friends. I guess the only mistake was that I left unannounced at the end.

Like aloof with her friends, could have been a bit more social but you've already pointed that out. I feel like towards the end you were just distant towards them, I mean you were dancing next to her. Could of pulled her in and gotten her to go to your tempo when you dance. Yea and then leaving unannounced wasn't needed bro lol. You honestly could of probably pulled her from there... did you think of that?

 

[Bboy100]

You honestly could of probably pulled her from there... did you think of that?

Yeah, its possible. But at the time, it felt riskier than just going on a date with her. Mainly because she's definitely the kind of girl who would require discretion and I feel like with her friends there, there'd be a lot of ASD.

Could of pulled her in and gotten her to go to your tempo when you dance. Yea and then leaving unannounced wasn't needed bro lol.

Yeah. Honestly once we went off to dance and dialogue ended, I was kind of skewed towards just leaving. Cause that's exactly when my friends left, and staying would have made it a lot harder for me to get home (no cars/sober drivers). And in my experience, trying to dance with her when her in any way when her friends are around, she's pretty sober and relatively conservative usually doesn't get anywhere. I figured I'd just see her again next week when her friends aren't there and its one on one. But in hindsight yes, this was a terrible mistake. I really didn't think it through very well lol.

Honestly, I'll probably just look for her in between classes on Wednesday. It shouldn't be that hard to find her since we both have a 1 hour gap between classes at the same time. She'll probably be around the same area, and I'll be able to remedy the situation pretty easily from there. If I don't find her, I'll just send her a "ball in your court text".

 

[ProblemSolving]

So I really only need to get one girl like her. I don't need to sleep with a bunch of them. Sooner or later, I'll get there!

This is really the key to getting your dream girl. You have to keep hitting on a bunch of them until you find one that sticks, but I'm sorry to say that this one doesn't sound like she's in the running and it wasn't because you "messed up". Think about all the chicks you've slept with (how ever many that is). Did any of them ignore your texts or get evasive about meeting up? Not likely, right? Because girls that are actually excited about you and the prospect of getting laid or having a relationship with you, don't do these things.

Talking, laughing, connection, and whatever else, doesn't meet jack if they don't make any effort to see you again. Don't take it personally, they're just not that interested at this point in time. It could honestly be for a million reasons that you have no control over.

Let's look at signs that a girl is wasting your time:

The next day, over FB:
Me: Hey, so are you free to hang out next week? <--We had already made plans to hang out in person.
Her: Yes!! I'm sure I have some free time at some point!! We could always grab coffee in between classes!!

Here, she's trying to slot you into a tight time slot that makes it super convenient FOR HER and she doesn't have to worry about you trying anything sexual because of the location and time restraints. Starting to smell a timewaster.

Me: Sure, I'd be down for that! I have a gap between 12:50-2:30. Or we could go to [x place] sometime after school next Monday or Tuesday
Her: Yeah, that would be super fun! maybe Tuesday but I'll let you know if I have too much hw

More evasiveness with no commitment. The smell is getting stronger.

Me: Ok, sounds good! Also, did you ever text me? My phone is known for missing some texts.
Her: [No Response]
[Four Days Later]
Me: Hey, did you ever figure out if you'll have time to hang out tomorrow?
Her: ah I'm so sorry I've been incredibly busy! I totally forgot to text you now that I look back! My text never sent!! I'll text you right now! I think this week is actually going to be a little crazy for me but for sure next week will work for me

The "did you text me" line is weak, but it didn't mess anything up because she was never in the game to begin with. Here, she postpones again. She hoping you take the hint.

I've laid a few girls who were busy and had to postpone, BUT they made it absolutely clear that they weren't blowing me off so I wouldn't lose interest in them. This girl hasn't put in any effort, just more evasiveness.

As far as the party is concerned, you again didn't mess anything up because it was never on the table to begin with. I mean, you could've thrown up a Hail Mary and tried to pull her home, however, doing this is mainly just to confirm to yourself that she's wasting your time so you can stop thinking about her and focus on girls that are actually interested.

Keep searching for your "10" and eventually you'll find one that's available. How many cold approaches do you have to do to get laid? Once you know that number, go approach that many of your "10"s and your problem will be sorted.

 

[Bboy100]

Think about all the chicks you've slept with (how ever many that is). Did any of them ignore your texts or get evasive about meeting up? Not likely, right? Because girls that are actually excited about you and the prospect of getting laid or having a relationship with you, don't do these things.

A few of them did postpone meeting up with me. But yeah, none of them straight up ignored texts or forgot to answer them or w.e the fuck is going on. Good point!
But it still leaves me wondering....why would she ask me for my number and add me on fb without me asking her to if she wasn't interested?

Another thing I have to mention is that I feel like I might've come off too eager via text. I always reply to texts as soon as I can. I don't play the "wait 3 hours to not come off as desperate" game. So usually, I respond as soon as I get the opportunity. Usually within 5-30 minutes. It seems that this may have caused her to lose interest as well. Cause she would always take 3+ hours before replying to my messages. And this isn't the first time. At this point I've lost quite a few girls because of this. I was hoping that by doing this, I would screen out girls who play games and play hard to get etc. and would screen in girls who are honest. But after experimenting with this for a while, its become clear to me that almost everyone plays this game, and when I don't, its a turnoff to most girls. Would you guys agree?

Keep searching for your "10" and eventually you'll find one that's available. How many cold approaches do you have to do to get laid? Once you know that number, go approach that many of your "10"s and your problem will be sorted.

No idea how many. I've never really kept track. But to be honest, I rarely run into 10s. I think part of the problem is that its a college campus. Which means most girls there will be 18-22. Most of them are a bit too young to have a solid relationship with. I can usually see their immaturity within the first 3 minutes of talking to them. And there's really no where else to look for girls in this town lol. I might just have to wait till I graduate in a few months!

 

[ProblemSolving]

But it still leaves me wondering....why would she ask me for my number and add me on fb without me asking her to if she wasn't interested?

Yeah, I know it's weird, but none of that stuff means she's actually interested. I've had girls give me their number without me asking, only to never reply why I actually texted them haha. Girls follow the path of least resistance, so if she feels socially obligated to give you her number after a pleasant conversation because it's the nice thing to do, she will. The only time a number means anything is when they actually agrees to meet up and they follow through. Asking her at some point if she's single will screen out a lot of these false positives.

Another thing I have to mention is that I feel like I might've come off too eager via text. I always reply to texts as soon as I can. I don't play the "wait 3 hours to not come off as desperate" game.

Yeah, I mainly just go with her pace of texting. If she waits a long time to text back, then so do I. It just matches her level of investment.

I've never really kept track. But to be honest, I rarely run into 10s.

This is a problem. You won't get girls of this caliber if you barely ever see them, let alone approach them. It's a lot like a guy wanting to sink a half court shot in basketball. If a guy takes a shot once per month, it could be YEARS before he sinks one. Whereas, if he takes 5 or 10 shots a day, he'll sink one in a fraction of that time. It is a numbers game after all.

I think part of the problem is that its a college campus. Which means most girls there will be 18-22. Most of them are a bit too young to have a solid relationship with. I can usually see their immaturity within the first 3 minutes of talking to them. And there's really no where else to look for girls in this town lol.

Don't let the youngins turn you off. I don't know how big your campus is, but you should have tons of hot girls between 18-22 within walking distance and some of them will have good heads on their shoulders. Having relationships with teens is a good test of your relationship skills because if you can handle the volatile emotions of an immature teen, then dealing with a more mature women is a piece of cake.

 

[Bboy100]

Don't let the youngins turn you off. I don't know how big your campus is, but you should have tons of hot girls between 18-22 within walking distance and some of them will have good heads on their shoulders.

Yeah, its true. There are some. But there are relatively few who are both stunningly beautiful and have their shit together. Especially since I go to a party school which means a huge portion of the girls there are party girls.

Having relationships with teens is a good test of your relationship skills because if you can handle the volatile emotions of an immature teen, then dealing with a more mature women is a piece of cake.

Its not necessarily about volatile emotions. There are plenty of girls who are chill and in control of themselves. The problem is that most of them are "basic". By basic, I mean girls who have no passions, no goals, no hobbies. All they do is watch Netflix, smoke weed and talk about whatever is trending on twitinstasnapbook, or about how they passed out drunk on someone's lawn last weekend, or about how Jenny and Steve hooked up last weekend. That's a generalization ofc. But you get the point. And for the record, it's not that I don't like these types of girls. I actually love them. Its just that I wouldn't want a serious relationship with one of them.