Hi there,
Agreed with Ray, in couple words, if a girl shows you her place and goes to your place, she feels quite comfortable with you, she likes you enough to be alone with you. You are alone together, thus she is open to have sex, or at least she wants to find out how far with your sexual advances you are willing to go... Always Assume Attraction so you don't miss it, then escalate...
In more details, if you like the girl and you want to keep her, you always need physical contact. She likes that humor and the rest of it, but if there is no physical contact - she will always be gone...
She gave you her phone number, I'm assuming without you asking for it. She was basically saying: Look, I like you, call me and we will go out together. Or even better: Lets go directly to your place. Any guy can miss it easily if he doesn't assume attraction...
She goes to your place and she is asking if you are taking lots of girls there. So you have to sort of interpret it: First, it's sort of a compliment because only attractive guys are taking many girls to their place. Secondly, girls usually go with guys to their place expecting at least some escalation, even sex. She wants to find out if you are really that fast sexy guy because at this time you appear fast and sexy...
She was basically trying to find out about what you are thinking about sex, if you are open to it, if you have enough experience with girls to move forward. She felt sexual tension towards you, she felt high sexual attraction (because she started on her own about sex). An experienced guy who assumes attraction wouldn't miss it, he would act upon it.
A guy who is experienced would be more serious about taking her to his place, he would be more serious about having sex. Thus next time, I would take the sex talk more seriously. You don't want to 'dissolve' it in humor too much, because right there she would know you are not experienced. If nothing else, at least try to keep it hidden, mysterious, or turn it back to sexual
For example:
She says: "You probably have lots of girls over at your place"
1. You: "No not really, haha, that would be funny". That's a very BAD answer. She knows right away what you think about sex, she knows it won't happen, not with you...
2. You: shrug shoulders, "Yea, sometimes" (as if it weren't important at all), hinting that you sleep with many girls. It's quick, fast, and she still have no clue how you are with women - which giving the situation is good, she still has to wonder whether there will be sex or not. Which is surprisingly very exciting to her, now she's got to find out...
3. You: "Yea, let's find out if any of the girls left panties there, haha". Which is sort of cocky while hinting sex. It works for some guys but I consider it as a BAD response as well, because now she goes to his place and she is already expecting escalation. So what is she gonna do? She will most likely give him LOTS of resistance, now he's got to proof that he is really sexual guy (which many of them are not), now he's got to prove his cockiness is true and not fake. So he will be working his ass off, while she is in defense mode...
I understand it is difficult though, most guys can't really see it because most don't assume attraction, at least not so fast... their mind set is that they have to go for a date, they have to attract her, create a great connection and vibes, look sexy and comfortable, deep dive with her, text her couple of times to make sure she is attracted enough and so on. They thing they have to seduce her somehow. They think that the girl need some time to make up her mind about him, so they want to give her that time....
The truth is, they can skip it many times. The girl is already "open", sometimes she just need one-two minutes to decide whether she wants to have sex with that guy or not. Girls are very smart, they go through a long list of what they seek in a guy, and if he gets a score is high enough she simply opens... she is then ready to sleep with that guy on a first "date", even within 10-20 minutes - while he doesn't have to move a finger, all he has to take her to a place and escalate...
So, once she is "open", the rest is up to the guy. If he doesn't recognize it (which comes with experience), if he doesn't move on with physical escalation and further moves towards the sex, she will downgrade his sexual value. Now she knows that he is not fast, he is hesitant, shy and inexperienced. She knows that she will have to go for couple of dates with him before he starts moving forward, and her attraction may drop rapidly, especially if she is not looking to date the guy... She might give him more chances, but now it's going to be more difficult for him because she expect him to be slow....
The guy usually won't get second date, but what's much worse - now he starts chasing her, calling her, setting up another dates, re-searching her on Facebook, at worse case scenarios stalking her - and she keeps postponing and postponing so he "gets it"... which he doesn't "get", she then has to feel bad because she has to somehow reject him, and if she does he than the feels rejected, he feels bad and miserable about himself, he will be analyzing his life, he will be afraid to talk to another hit girls, he will be analyzing what he has done wrong, he will perhaps start create some weird theories about girls...
Yet in reality, it's just so simple. She just wanted to have sex with an exiting and great guy she just met, she felt great and excited about it - yet he just wasn't up to it... The rest of the whole "rejection thing" is just in his head, he feels rejected but she never really rejected him... The rejection is just a sign of his insecurity, it's only in his head...
Next time I would always assume attraction, especially in situations where she is showing you her place, wants to see your place, giving you her phone number, and opens about sex. You just have to "be ready" for quick move, even within 10-20 minutes of meeting the girl... which of course take time and experience...
...so don't beat yourself down, you did great, the girl was quite attracted to you, you "opened" her for a quick move, you took her effortlessly to hers and your place.... Next time simply move forward to another step...
