- Joined
- Dec 30, 2019
- Messages
- 233
This was my first time aggressively fighting to build social momentum. This turned into me setting up a date because it can even be said that she was the one who asked me out.
Approach
Hovered around the unenclosed cake stand where this Vietnamese chick who was running the cake stand was taking a call. There's no one else around so I once again use the "I'm bored" opener she responds by saying she's very bored. We easily get into conversation though the conversation is not that good. It's not on an emotional level. It helps that the girl who was my main motivation to really get into approaching who I was really close to was Vietnamese so I know a lot more about Vietnam than average.
Absolute thanks to Mr. Rob for this amazing opener. I can't stop using it.
I practice my deep diving. I try relating but it's not as good as I would have liked. The conversation can be described as me consistently asking questions and we always somehow get to 75% of the way to the feels like a really strong emotional connection stage and then somehow my deep diving fails that last 25% and I switch topic of conversation.
Conversation switches from what she's doing in , what she plans to do with her life after (her time is ending in 2 months), whether you're allowed to give/accept tips in Vietnam and , her family and school in Vietnam... what she likes to eat...
This is when it happens:
Us talking about her family...
Me: What do you like to eat? (I admit it's a bit random)
Abruptly, she's surprised and excited and bursts "You're asking me out!?".
We get into a friendly debate about how asking her what she likes to eat is necessarily or not necessarily asking her out.
Is it a test of how strong my frame was? Maybe maybe not. Will assume it was
I say it's my personal pattern of conversation. In any case, I tell her I wasn't asking her out. But I tell her I wouldn't mind asking her out.
I shrug and hold my frame but I don't attack her frame. I remain calm. I suppose I can compliment myself on understanding this must be embarassing for her.
She apologizes saying its a cultural difference. According to her I am "in every way" asking her out. She teases me about being clueless.
Tests
She mentions that I'm clueless. Cant remember if this was not or later, she mentions that I am confusing (maybe). Response to both tests throughout was just shrugging and not really addressing these "concerns"
I demonstrate to her that I was seriously asking her what food she likes. She takes an empty cake receipt and draws a picture of a squid on it and says she likes fried stuff. There's a shop 3 floors down. I go to buy it for her.
Test: when I leave to buy fried squid
She gives a very strong bye bye to me as though she was never going to see me again. I couldn't tell in the moment that this was her mixed signal. I was slightly fazed. I think she could tell I was slightly fazed. no matter.
I was carrying a long umbrella and ask her to hold it while I buy the squid.
On the way there and back, I decide to actually ask her out.
I get back, I ask her out. "Do you want to get something to eat". She comes out telling me that I am confusing. She rotates her index finger at me and rocks her head left and right. Test.
Can't remember why, I compliment her on her eyes when she's teasing me.
Biggest test she gives
She tries to put me down as a sad loner because I'm going around talking to people because I'm bored according to her "especially during Corona". I come back with a solid emotional frame saying how it's actually my way of dealing with the Corona situation which is a really interesting way of living life and dealing with the situation. Somehow I feel that I got her to agree with me...
Conversation dies down. I plainly command "Give me your phone number". She writes her phone number down on the receipt she drew the squid on. She asks me to write my number as well and I do. She doesn't even notice that after this she takes this very receipt folds it and pokes it with the poker for the old receipts of the cake shops orders to be thrown away. She must be nervous around me...
I remember advice from Chase to drag the conversation for longer after you get a phone number. I struggle through this but manage to get some small talk about how she's closing the shop soon going.
She then invites me to leave the shop with her as she's closing the shop soon. I decline her offer giving her reason that I have something on after. Me having to wait for her to close the shop is investing as well
As I leave, I realise that I don't have the receipt and she poked it through the poker. i go and take the receipt Another embarassing move from her haha
Messaging
Date
Not going to document the whole date. Will try to keep it brief.
MAJOR SHIT:
This chick is at the level of the most inexperienced and socially unsavvy chick you'll ever meet despite all the tests. She's literally a zombie. I offer her my arm and she holds it like a robot omfg. Like the way C3PO in Star Wars holds his hands in front of his body but with her arm in my arm holy shit.
She is also really not very attractive with her mask off as I found out when she took off her mask to show me her face for the first time... I push on with the date (Thanks Ray for the "It's all in the mind" mindset from Big Big Girl Lay report)
Thankfully she's somewhat ok looking when she has stronger facial expressions when Im talking to her
Touch
A bit about myself: Before this date, the furthest I ever went with any girl was a very quick and abrupt hug. And in terms of that girl who I hugged, I never clasped her hand... nothing at all.
In this date, I went from more or less zero experience to arm around shoulder, leading touch with arm around her shoulder though I wasn't leading her to any seduction location, her thigh over mine while we were sitting next to each other, walking arm in arm
I tried to kiss her on the lips 7-8 times and failed. I did the spontaneous kiss thing as well. They were all half manhandle kiss attempts that all failed with her pressing my head and face away from her with both her hands and her ducking her chin away. With me trying to pull her head and torso in using her temple, her chin, her torso.
2 out of the 7-8 times I kiss her jaw instead, and the first time I do that she blushes like hell (so oh well that's my first one-way kiss sigh)
When we separate, I hug and kiss her forehead and she hugs me back
Deep diving
As stated earlier during approach I only managed to deep dive 75% to what I feel is the emotional level.
At the time when I tried to kiss her, I only managed to get the dive to about 80-85%
Only at about the point in time when we were leaving the park do I get to about 90%
Tests
Fail
Told me about her roommate going on a lot of dates and how her roommate's most recent date didn't go well. I did well not to ask her about it but I couldn't get it out of my head
I'm staved off by her personality. It's unlikely she's faking her lack of experience, I believe she's try to fake that she has more experience than she actually has
Thigh over mine: She got uncomfortable after her thigh was over mine for about a minute. She said "I feel that this is not a very comfortable position". This was probably a test I failed given she actually had her thigh over mine for about a minute. I simply didn't react to it
Pass (Somewhat)
Start of date, I offer her my arm, and she says "Nope, 1 metre apart", "safe distancing for Corona" "I say wow no that's not going to work". I insist 3 times or less and then she goes into her Star Wars Robot mode. OMG I'm embarassed walking around with her.
Refusing to sit down on the same bench as me:
She said "I prefer standing" I kept fighting with her on this "I said this is stupid I can't talk to you properly". I planned before the date that we were going to sit somewhere and I would practise my touch on her. If she didn't give in my plan was to walk her to different part of the park and try to get her to sit down again.
Which is exactly how it turned out hoorah. I failed to get her to sit with me initially I kept fighting but I couldn't get her to do it. Then I said "ok you know what wer're going to walk to a different part of the park..." 3 seconds later I uttered "like the exit..."
There was half a second of quite silence from her when I said this, I suppose she was kinda affected by this oh yeah.... But I bring her to a different part of the park and she agrees to sit with me. Test passed. Then I practise my touch and try to get the first kiss of my life
Good planning for my lack of experience
I planned to not go into the park immediately when the date started but to take her to a supermarket to get liquids first. This was a good move. I got her walking in my arm (regardless of how awkward), I got her mask off, I got her to buy me a drink. Before the date, I thought I might not get any of these things, just my lack of experience
I knew she was going to have her mask on when she arrived so my plan was to persist like heck do or die get her mask off, it's actually not legal to not wear a mask currently though a lot of people still don't wear one. Managed to get this investment quite easily
Future plans
Unattractiveness makes me not want to date this girl again but its not like I can consistently get dates so I'll keep dating this girl.
If I get another date...
Get the kiss from this girl
Use this as training to train against resistance. She resisted the kiss a lot.
She didn't really resist so much when I had my hand aroun dher waist. Gonna use this to train my escalation and see how turned on I can make her without making her creeped out
Messaging after date
Approach
Hovered around the unenclosed cake stand where this Vietnamese chick who was running the cake stand was taking a call. There's no one else around so I once again use the "I'm bored" opener she responds by saying she's very bored. We easily get into conversation though the conversation is not that good. It's not on an emotional level. It helps that the girl who was my main motivation to really get into approaching who I was really close to was Vietnamese so I know a lot more about Vietnam than average.
Absolute thanks to Mr. Rob for this amazing opener. I can't stop using it.
I practice my deep diving. I try relating but it's not as good as I would have liked. The conversation can be described as me consistently asking questions and we always somehow get to 75% of the way to the feels like a really strong emotional connection stage and then somehow my deep diving fails that last 25% and I switch topic of conversation.
Conversation switches from what she's doing in , what she plans to do with her life after (her time is ending in 2 months), whether you're allowed to give/accept tips in Vietnam and , her family and school in Vietnam... what she likes to eat...
This is when it happens:
Us talking about her family...
Me: What do you like to eat? (I admit it's a bit random)
Abruptly, she's surprised and excited and bursts "You're asking me out!?".
We get into a friendly debate about how asking her what she likes to eat is necessarily or not necessarily asking her out.
Is it a test of how strong my frame was? Maybe maybe not. Will assume it was
I say it's my personal pattern of conversation. In any case, I tell her I wasn't asking her out. But I tell her I wouldn't mind asking her out.
I shrug and hold my frame but I don't attack her frame. I remain calm. I suppose I can compliment myself on understanding this must be embarassing for her.
She apologizes saying its a cultural difference. According to her I am "in every way" asking her out. She teases me about being clueless.
Tests
She mentions that I'm clueless. Cant remember if this was not or later, she mentions that I am confusing (maybe). Response to both tests throughout was just shrugging and not really addressing these "concerns"
I demonstrate to her that I was seriously asking her what food she likes. She takes an empty cake receipt and draws a picture of a squid on it and says she likes fried stuff. There's a shop 3 floors down. I go to buy it for her.
Test: when I leave to buy fried squid
She gives a very strong bye bye to me as though she was never going to see me again. I couldn't tell in the moment that this was her mixed signal. I was slightly fazed. I think she could tell I was slightly fazed. no matter.
I was carrying a long umbrella and ask her to hold it while I buy the squid.
On the way there and back, I decide to actually ask her out.
I get back, I ask her out. "Do you want to get something to eat". She comes out telling me that I am confusing. She rotates her index finger at me and rocks her head left and right. Test.
Can't remember why, I compliment her on her eyes when she's teasing me.
Biggest test she gives
She tries to put me down as a sad loner because I'm going around talking to people because I'm bored according to her "especially during Corona". I come back with a solid emotional frame saying how it's actually my way of dealing with the Corona situation which is a really interesting way of living life and dealing with the situation. Somehow I feel that I got her to agree with me... Conversation dies down. I plainly command "Give me your phone number". She writes her phone number down on the receipt she drew the squid on. She asks me to write my number as well and I do. She doesn't even notice that after this she takes this very receipt folds it and pokes it with the poker for the old receipts of the cake shops orders to be thrown away. She must be nervous around me...
I remember advice from Chase to drag the conversation for longer after you get a phone number. I struggle through this but manage to get some small talk about how she's closing the shop soon going.
She then invites me to leave the shop with her as she's closing the shop soon. I decline her offer giving her reason that I have something on after. Me having to wait for her to close the shop is investing as well
As I leave, I realise that I don't have the receipt and she poked it through the poker. i go and take the receipt Another embarassing move from her haha
Messaging
20 mins from meet (She did some embarassing things so message fast to reassure Im interested)
Me: Hi (name) this is Y ;} , if this is the wrong person someone just gave me your phone number and said it was their's... Hahaha...!
20 mins later: Nah wrong number, never hear of any Y or the clueless guy at all
40 mins later: Nah I'm smart, you just haven't seen it... You must like clueless guys you've never heard of...
Her: I also never heard of myself liking clueless guys.. (Sigh emoji)
2 hours later:
So its either you're discovering a new side of yourself or you actually think I'm smart and you're hiding it...
Tell me when you want to meet on Monday... The time to meet at somewhere Central... Where we should go I''' think about it a bit more...
11hours later:
Monday about 4 or 5 will be ok, let's see where you wthink we will go
2 hours:
Sure! tell you by Saturday Oh yea
Saturday
Me: Let's meet at the station at (park), xpm?
Sure, see you there
Sunday
Her: Haha just wanted to tell you a funny news: my day off is moved from Monday to this sunday
Me: Sigh let me see... Tell you by 2 pm
Busy boy there aren't ya? It's ok if we can't make it, another time would be nice
No comment, 6pm at (station at park) (devil smile emoji) ... Yes?
No problem
Wear something more flexible
At the venue:
Hey where are you?
I'm standing near (Shop)
Where r u?
Come out I'm outside
Date
Not going to document the whole date. Will try to keep it brief.
MAJOR SHIT:
This chick is at the level of the most inexperienced and socially unsavvy chick you'll ever meet despite all the tests. She's literally a zombie. I offer her my arm and she holds it like a robot omfg. Like the way C3PO in Star Wars holds his hands in front of his body but with her arm in my arm holy shit.
She is also really not very attractive with her mask off as I found out when she took off her mask to show me her face for the first time... I push on with the date (Thanks Ray for the "It's all in the mind" mindset from Big Big Girl Lay report)
Thankfully she's somewhat ok looking when she has stronger facial expressions when Im talking to her
Touch
A bit about myself: Before this date, the furthest I ever went with any girl was a very quick and abrupt hug. And in terms of that girl who I hugged, I never clasped her hand... nothing at all.
In this date, I went from more or less zero experience to arm around shoulder, leading touch with arm around her shoulder though I wasn't leading her to any seduction location, her thigh over mine while we were sitting next to each other, walking arm in arm
I tried to kiss her on the lips 7-8 times and failed. I did the spontaneous kiss thing as well. They were all half manhandle kiss attempts that all failed with her pressing my head and face away from her with both her hands and her ducking her chin away. With me trying to pull her head and torso in using her temple, her chin, her torso.
2 out of the 7-8 times I kiss her jaw instead, and the first time I do that she blushes like hell (so oh well that's my first one-way kiss sigh)
When we separate, I hug and kiss her forehead and she hugs me back
Deep diving
As stated earlier during approach I only managed to deep dive 75% to what I feel is the emotional level.
At the time when I tried to kiss her, I only managed to get the dive to about 80-85%
Only at about the point in time when we were leaving the park do I get to about 90%
Tests
Fail
Told me about her roommate going on a lot of dates and how her roommate's most recent date didn't go well. I did well not to ask her about it but I couldn't get it out of my head
I'm staved off by her personality. It's unlikely she's faking her lack of experience, I believe she's try to fake that she has more experience than she actually has
Thigh over mine: She got uncomfortable after her thigh was over mine for about a minute. She said "I feel that this is not a very comfortable position". This was probably a test I failed given she actually had her thigh over mine for about a minute. I simply didn't react to it
Pass (Somewhat)
Start of date, I offer her my arm, and she says "Nope, 1 metre apart", "safe distancing for Corona" "I say wow no that's not going to work". I insist 3 times or less and then she goes into her Star Wars Robot mode. OMG I'm embarassed walking around with her.
Refusing to sit down on the same bench as me:
She said "I prefer standing" I kept fighting with her on this "I said this is stupid I can't talk to you properly". I planned before the date that we were going to sit somewhere and I would practise my touch on her. If she didn't give in my plan was to walk her to different part of the park and try to get her to sit down again.
Which is exactly how it turned out hoorah. I failed to get her to sit with me initially I kept fighting but I couldn't get her to do it. Then I said "ok you know what wer're going to walk to a different part of the park..." 3 seconds later I uttered "like the exit..."
There was half a second of quite silence from her when I said this, I suppose she was kinda affected by this oh yeah...
. But I bring her to a different part of the park and she agrees to sit with me. Test passed. Then I practise my touch and try to get the first kiss of my lifeGood planning for my lack of experience
I planned to not go into the park immediately when the date started but to take her to a supermarket to get liquids first. This was a good move. I got her walking in my arm (regardless of how awkward), I got her mask off, I got her to buy me a drink. Before the date, I thought I might not get any of these things, just my lack of experience
I knew she was going to have her mask on when she arrived so my plan was to persist like heck do or die get her mask off, it's actually not legal to not wear a mask currently though a lot of people still don't wear one. Managed to get this investment quite easily
Future plans
Unattractiveness makes me not want to date this girl again but its not like I can consistently get dates so I'll keep dating this girl.
If I get another date...
Get the kiss from this girl
Use this as training to train against resistance. She resisted the kiss a lot.
She didn't really resist so much when I had my hand aroun dher waist. Gonna use this to train my escalation and see how turned on I can make her without making her creeped out
Messaging after date
Hey (name) hope you had a good time today, next time I see you please don't be so shy sigh...
Sure you too. And for reference, I am not shy, keep the pace slow or you won't get any of it, gen
(Someone please fcking introduce her to skilledseducer.com... )
You are one of the most shy people I've met (name), don't worry I'll keep going as fast as I can...
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