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[Richard]

Hey fellas,

I've been relatively absent and quiet on the Boards lately. So much of my free time has been going into reading, self-growth, my hobbies, etc. and I just really haven't been gaming that much lately to sum things up. Instead, I've been searching inward - and with the help of some superb mentors I have many answers and a new energy about me.

I used to (even when I was bedding a lot of women) hate who I was... at my core. I was embarrassed about who I was and as it turns out I have been for a very long time; since I was a very young kid actually and while I was growing up I laid so many traps, and had so much smoke and mirror nonsense in my memories of growing up that it took my mentors drilling me with questions to get myself back into that place in my head. I had to go back into my childhood and understand why I am the way I am, and I had to understand WHY I enjoy what I enjoy because it is going to shape my life. With that new clarity of who I am I had many "WOW!" moments but now I absolutely love who I am, and I feel free to be the idiot I am (that's a good thing lol) in all contexts. I don't really care about what people think of me anymore and I have no guards and shields up around people anymore.

As for gaming - I am still talking to women but I'm a lot less tactical now. I have the best times when I'm being a joker while helping girls into my world of fun, laughter, and sexuality. The connections I'm making now are much stronger and deeper than previous ones, and I'm easily able to kick the negative people out of my life without feeling like I'm losing something. The last girl I texted, we created a running joke about her being an 80 year old man who is just a few years too old for me to give head too and the energy coming from the interaction is simply amazing.

I've never felt so free before and I love it, and I'm immersing myself in it. Life means absolutely nothing if you're living in a way that is not genuine to who you are and I refuse to do that anymore.

-Richard

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

- alwekjtasd

 

[Eternity]

I hope you won't leave and still be around...

 

[Richard]

I hope you won't leave and still be around...

Pretty sure it's impossible to be around and leave at the same time haha ;D

Sorry buddy, had to take advantage of your grammar.

Anyhow, I'll still be around the Boards for sure. I love helping people, and I live to help others grow but I'm also a hell of a lot more selective about what I answer.

 

[Ken]

Richard,

I am in that place that you used to be. I hate myself, and I constantly imagine myself as a completely different person. I was wondering if you could teach me how to accept myself as a person. Because as I am now, I haven't gotten laid yet or been on a date.

 

[Richard]

Richard,

I am in that place that you used to be. I hate myself, and I constantly imagine myself as a completely different person. I was wondering if you could teach me how to accept myself as a person. Because as I am now, I haven't gotten laid yet or been on a date.

What kind of person do you imagine yourself being? and, do you understand WHY you hate yourself?

WHY do you want to be a different person?

 

[Rage]

Richard,

I am in that place that you used to be. I hate myself, and I constantly imagine myself as a completely different person. I was wondering if you could teach me how to accept myself as a person. Because as I am now, I haven't gotten laid yet or been on a date.

Hey Ken,

if I were to give you any help, just very generally, and from a positive sentiment from my own heart, I'd suggest taking action (like Chase talks about here https://www.girlschase.com/content/take-more-action) at something that you feel excites you, gets you thrilled really positve or energetic or filled with boyish wonder and delight like you would have about certain things as a kid.

I've felt the way you felt to some degree of just frusstration and ennui and imagining myself being someone totally awesome but not getting to live out that life and vision I would fantasize and see play out in my head. There were many years for me where I was cooped up at home (especially the summers, they were the worst), and I would have to do composition and math and bullshit work that my mom would force me to, and I wouldn't get to go out and play much like the other kids would. I would hate what I was doing and hate not being able to go and do something fun or uplifting.

The only thing that saved me all those years, from devolving into depression or intense loneliness or sadness or any of that, was that every summer and really all the years of my life from as young as I could remember, I would have something that I was working on, building towards, taking action on and making progress at. Something that i could put work into and create some value from, and that on a much deeper fundamental level I realize now gave my life meaning purpose and hope that I could work on those things on a much grander scale one day when I would be older.

Some of the years of my childhood it was video games, other years it was playing soccer, other years it was music, and others still it was chess. I took each of those passions/undertaking s of mine serioulsy and worked to get as good as I could at them. And that made me happier and like/enjoy myself more. Like all through childhood and still to some degree today, there was always "the bullshit everyone wants you to do or invites you todo/insists you should do/forces you to do" and then there was the stuff that I loved to do and would wait all day to do. But I would love to do it, whatever it would respectively happen to be at that point of my life, and loved to build/create/progress at it and grow as a person simultaneously as I did so.

Not sure of I could be of much help man, if I were in your shoes I'd suggest finding some constructive outlet or hobby that you could put love and care and some honest and well meaning work into. Best feeling in the world to see your projets mature, age and blossom into what they one day become. I think Chase suggests similar strategies that he used to combat intense depression when he had it https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-o ... depression

Cheers, good luck!

Rage

 

[Ken]

What kind of person do you imagine yourself being? and, do you understand WHY you hate yourself?

WHY do you want to be a different person?

I imagine myself being much more successful with women, the kind of guy who can have sex with any girl he talks to. I also myself being muscular, when in real life, I'm very skinny.

I hate myself because I do not have the ability to bring these dreams and more into reality. I live with my parents, and so I lament not being able to take girls home, if I could.

I've never had any friends in my life, so I have been alone. I blamed on my parents for years, for protecting me. I only recently learned that my parents did this because we lived in a bad neighborhood. I want to be a better person because I don't want my parents, or anyone else, to control my life. I want to get laid and be more optimistic and less cynical.

 

[Richard]

I imagine myself being much more successful with women, the kind of guy who can have sex with any girl he talks to. I also myself being muscular, when in real life, I'm very skinny.

I hate myself because I do not have the ability to bring these dreams and more into reality. I live with my parents, and so I lament not being able to take girls home, if I could.

I've never had any friends in my life, so I have been alone. I blamed on my parents for years, for protecting me. I only recently learned that my parents did this because we lived in a bad neighborhood. I want to be a better person because I don't want my parents, or anyone else, to control my life. I want to get laid and be more optimistic and less cynical.

Now we're getting somewhere. But, WHY is being successful with women important, and WHY is being muscular important to you? WHY does it matter to you that you were alone growing up? How does that relate to who you want to BE? Where is your passion in all of this? Who are you trying to become and WHY is it so important that you become this person?

-Richard

 

[Ken]

Now we're getting somewhere. But, WHY is being successful with women important, and WHY is being muscular important to you? WHY does it matter to you that you were alone growing up? How does that relate to who you want to BE? Where is your passion in all of this? Who are you trying to become and WHY is it so important that you become this person?

-Richard

Richard,

Being successful with women is important to me because I feel like this is the only aspect of my life that I can control without my parents' being involved. If I can't succeed with women by myself, then I will be unable to live with the shame. Being muscular is important because I am tired of being ashamed of my body and myself.

I feel like if I didn't grow up alone, then I would have had someone who can show me how to navigate through life and pickup. That way I wouldn't have to talk to myself and keep every thought I have to myself. I want to be someone who controls what happens in his life. Who he associates himself with, what he does with his time, how many women to fuck etc.

I want to become a writer, so that I don't have to answer to anyone on a daily basis. I have always been interested in the other gender, sex, and female nudity and I want to see a women naked in person. I want to become a person who doesn't answer to anyone other than himself and despite his fear, can meet women and have sex with them on a daily basis. If I don't become.this type of person, then I will never be happy, and will be stuck with my parents controlling my life until the day they die.

 

[Richard]

Richard,

Being successful with women is important to me because I feel like this is the only aspect of my life that I can control without my parents' being involved. If I can't succeed with women by myself, then I will be unable to live with the shame. Being muscular is important because I am tired of being ashamed of my body and myself.

I feel like if I didn't grow up alone, then I would have had someone who can show me how to navigate through life and pickup. That way I wouldn't have to talk to myself and keep every thought I have to myself. I want to be someone who controls what happens in his life. Who he associates himself with, what he does with his time, how many women to fuck etc.

I want to become a writer, so that I don't have to answer to anyone on a daily basis. I have always been interested in the other gender, sex, and female nudity and I want to see a women naked in person. I want to become a person who doesn't answer to anyone other than himself and despite his fear, can meet women and have sex with them on a daily basis. If I don't become.this type of person, then I will never be happy, and will be stuck with my parents controlling my life until the day they die.

What I'm hearing from you are just limiting-beliefs. The only person impeding on your ability to do anything here is you.

• "I can control without my parent's being involved."
• "If I didn't grow up alone."
• "I will never be happy, and be stuck with my parents controlling my life."

These are just the excuses that you're making up for why you can't get your shit together. At the moment, you're a victim which is the first stage of life. Limiting-beliefs are what stop you from progressing to the next stage and the easiest way to destroy limiting beliefs is to say "Enough is enough, I refuse to be XYZ anymore!" Then go out there and take an action while the fire is in your belly. If somebody wants to lose weight; "Enough is enough! I'm tired of being a fat!" then the action they might take is going through their house and tossing out all their junk food.

and you still haven't answered your WHY. Your WHY is at the heart of your vulnerability, it's right behind the emotions and thoughts that you don't want to acknowledge and that you don't want others to see. Until you understand what that is then you will never be able to take responsibility for yourself and start to move up in your life.

So, we'll follow this up and continue to dig deeper and deeper:

WHY is it so important that you don't answer to anyone on a daily basis? Why do you feel the need to have total control in your life? Why are you ashamed of yourself? Where does this all come from?

 

[Man-O]

Reminds me of my aftermath from depression and it still lingers somehow but through socializing and exercising I stay in good physical and mental health and pick up has made it much more fun socializing. Now I'm starting to build the foundation of how I want my life with a long-term goal for the future besides having family and all other jazz.

Funny how many say they had a "bad" influence from their parents because I don't think everyone has, and it is natural to be affected by your parents, be it good or bad. To me it comes down to how you want to evolve your environment and knowing when it goes in the wrong or right direction. In my case I want most of my environment to be a product of me

I've taken notice on a lot of people who do pick up because it's fun, but if you pick that layer off a lot of people do it to run away from their real worries, which is why a lot of pua's in the end get depressed (again) because they're not solving their problems.

 

[Ken]

I want to be my own man, and not one that is being forced to live a life that is awful. This means that I don't want to be dependent on my parents for the rest of my life. I need to learn how to do things myself.

I never had any control in my life. In middle school and early in high school, I dealt with this by going into my own little world and talking to myself. Since then, I have been trying to not talk to myself as much and I am more based in the real world. I should have done this sooner, because I didn't have a girlfriend or get a single date.

I am ashamed of myself because of the things that happened in my past, most notably the fact that I have never been on a date in my life or had any friends.

All of this comes from the way my parents raised me. When I was five, my family and I moved to Staten Island and lived in the hood where I currently lived. Recently I learned that my parents kept me away from the streets there because it's one of those bad neighborhoods with a lot of cops and bad things going on. I never had any friends because I have a disability, autism, that limited my motor skills. I didn't learn to get over it until later in High School. I have been living in fear of my parents for many years, because I kept thinking that they didn't want me to have a life outside of them, though I learned that that wasn't the case.

 

[Richard]

I want to be my own man, and not one that is being forced to live a life that is awful. This means that I don't want to be dependent on my parents for the rest of my life. I need to learn how to do things myself.

I never had any control in my life. In middle school and early in high school, I dealt with this by going into my own little world and talking to myself. Since then, I have been trying to not talk to myself as much and I am more based in the real world. I should have done this sooner, because I didn't have a girlfriend or get a single date.

I am ashamed of myself because of the things that happened in my past, most notably the fact that I have never been on a date in my life or had any friends.

All of this comes from the way my parents raised me. When I was five, my family and I moved to Staten Island and lived in the hood where I currently lived. Recently I learned that my parents kept me away from the streets there because it's one of those bad neighborhoods with a lot of cops and bad things going on. I never had any friends because I have a disability, autism, that limited my motor skills. I didn't learn to get over it until later in High School. I have been living in fear of my parents for many years, because I kept thinking that they didn't want me to have a life outside of them, though I learned that that wasn't the case.

Well there ya go dude.

You want to be your own man because you couldn't be when you were younger. In order to cope with it you went off into your own world where you had control. You want to build connections with people because you didn't have the chance when you were younger.

Now, you have the opportunity to be your own man but because you've been on your own for so long you don't know how so you're afraid and you tell yourself that you're a loser and that you're a loser because of your parents, and because of circumstance. Now you know why you want to succeed with seduction and you know why you want your life to go in a certain direction. That should cause you to feel a burning desire.

Establish new goals and boundaries for yourself:

"I will not be pushed around!"
"I will get laid within 3 months time!"
"I will go out and start building connections with people until I can look back on the man I once was and see how motherfucking far I've come!"

Now you have a reason to start taking responsibility for yourself and for others. So, how do you feel now?

-Richard

 

[Ken]

Well there ya go dude.

You want to be your own man because you couldn't be when you were younger. In order to cope with it you went off into your own world where you had control. You want to build connections with people because you didn't have the chance when you were younger.

Now, you have the opportunity to be your own man but because you've been on your own for so long you don't know how so you're afraid and you tell yourself that you're a loser and that you're a loser because of your parents, and because of circumstance. Now you know why you want to succeed with seduction and you know why you want your life to go in a certain direction. That should cause you to feel a burning desire.

Establish new goals and boundaries for yourself:

"I will not be pushed around!"
"I will get laid within 3 months time!"
"I will go out and start building connections with people until I can look back on the man I once was and see how motherfucking far I've come!"

Now you have a reason to start taking responsibility for yourself and for others. So, how do you feel now?

-Richard

Richard,

You hit the nail on the head with this one. I have been building connections in College, and continue to do so. That said, the most difficult thing for me to do in terms of the goals and boundaries you set up for me is getting laid in three months time. While I do want to achieve that goal, it will be difficult for many reasons:

-Every girl I try to seduce saying "I have a boyfriend".
-My overall lack of experience in dating and romance.
-The fact that I have never gotten laid in my life.

So the thing I want to ask is, how do I prevent these things from getting in the way of getting laid in three months time?

 

[Richard]

Richard,

You hit the nail on the head with this one. I have been building connections in College, and continue to do so. That said, the most difficult thing for me to do in terms of the goals and boundaries you set up for me is getting laid in three months time. While I do want to achieve that goal, it will be difficult for many reasons:

-Every girl I try to seduce saying "I have a boyfriend".
-My overall lack of experience in dating and romance.
-The fact that I have never gotten laid in my life.

So the thing I want to ask is, how do I prevent these things from getting in the way of getting laid in three months time?

I wasn't giving you goals to hit, you need to set those for yourself otherwise you'll just be following what somebody else tells you to do. You need to make the goal so compelling and huge that you find yourself naturally striving for it.

Think about the difference between these two goals:

"I want to be a man that women want." vs "I want to carve myself into a chiseled beast that oozes charisma and sexuality!" Which of those two sounds like something you'd want to work on?

How do you stop these things from getting in the way? Simply don't let them. They're only problems if you think about them and make them out to be something they're not. Accept them as a general truth and push through them anyway. Again buddy, none of your dreaming, goals, plans, or knowledge amount to shit if you don't take an action. Ergo, take a fucking action

-Richard