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- Oct 9, 2012
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- 6,240
I was sharing "crazy comments" we've gotten from non-customers and whatnot recently with a few business owner friends of mine, and we all noted how we sometimes get emails / comments / messages from people that are along these lines:
Similarly, you get people in social circle environments you'd never want to hang with in a million years who jump on you and hit you with:
At the opposite end of the spectrum are the legitimately cool people whom you probably WOULD hang out with / lend a hand to if they asked you in a way that provided value to you... but they never do, because they assume you'll say "no" to them or they don't know how.
What you end up with most of the time is:
It's EXTREMELY rare that you find someone who has value to offer you, AND reaches out to you in a cool way that doesn't make you feel like you're being (sloppily) bamboozled.
I think this "value blindness" - guys either being totally unaware that they're coming across like valueless leeches, OR guys being so AFRAID of coming across like valueless leeches that they make no attempts - sabotages a lot of people's attempts to do a lot of things, in both seduction and other aspects of socializing.
e.g., imagine the obnoxious, unattractive guy who goes and hits on girls while offering nothing of value ("Damn, girl, you're BEAUTIFUL. I'm Clive"), versus the guy who doesn't bother to talk to girls at all because he figures he'll crash and burn ("Oh, she'd NEVER talk to ME, so why bother").
When you're the one doing the approaching, your message to other people is, "You have something I want. Please give it to me," but some people never stop to think, "What can I offer this other person that HE/SHE will want in exchange?" and the rest often think to themselves, "There's nothing I have that he/she will want, so I won't even try."
Most of the frustration in the world and the inability for people to get what they want seems to come from this value blindness; not realizing they're trying to get things in a way that fails to incentivize the other party to give them what they want, OR believing they have nothing the other party will want and/or not knowing how to present themselves as having what the other party will want and not even trying.
Chase
Similarly, you get people in social circle environments you'd never want to hang with in a million years who jump on you and hit you with:
At the opposite end of the spectrum are the legitimately cool people whom you probably WOULD hang out with / lend a hand to if they asked you in a way that provided value to you... but they never do, because they assume you'll say "no" to them or they don't know how.
What you end up with most of the time is:
- a.) People who have nothing to offer you but will ask you to move heaven and earth for them for free / no benefit to you at all
b.) People who might well have something to offer you but don't know how to do so properly, assume they'll look like the "a"s if they try, and don't bother
It's EXTREMELY rare that you find someone who has value to offer you, AND reaches out to you in a cool way that doesn't make you feel like you're being (sloppily) bamboozled.
I think this "value blindness" - guys either being totally unaware that they're coming across like valueless leeches, OR guys being so AFRAID of coming across like valueless leeches that they make no attempts - sabotages a lot of people's attempts to do a lot of things, in both seduction and other aspects of socializing.
e.g., imagine the obnoxious, unattractive guy who goes and hits on girls while offering nothing of value ("Damn, girl, you're BEAUTIFUL. I'm Clive"), versus the guy who doesn't bother to talk to girls at all because he figures he'll crash and burn ("Oh, she'd NEVER talk to ME, so why bother").
When you're the one doing the approaching, your message to other people is, "You have something I want. Please give it to me," but some people never stop to think, "What can I offer this other person that HE/SHE will want in exchange?" and the rest often think to themselves, "There's nothing I have that he/she will want, so I won't even try."
Most of the frustration in the world and the inability for people to get what they want seems to come from this value blindness; not realizing they're trying to get things in a way that fails to incentivize the other party to give them what they want, OR believing they have nothing the other party will want and/or not knowing how to present themselves as having what the other party will want and not even trying.
Chase
