Video + Discussion - Too many single men in society

[King]

Hey y’all just saw this video and thought it would make for an interesting discussion on the current state of men and women.

Video goes into solid detail. Wondering what everyones thoughts were…

 

[Zoro]

I think there is a factor at play they don't mention.

Men don't have much to believe in, fight for, care about, or motivation to create. The general focus nowadays is around money and girls which is pretty unfulfilling compared to having things like: mentors and virtuous men to look up to, a country or community you want to protect and grow, a god or connection to life to honor, or a connection and drive to create something for creation's sake.

Men have a lot of distracting but empty pursuits nowadays, especially things like porn, video games, and then add in a general hopelessness for the future, and an empty replacement motivation for fulfillment (sex and money) and you have a pretty empty life. And a pretty lame guy.

Now one of the things that sometimes gets discussed, but gets overlooked, is having a mission in life. That's attractive, being full of life and inspiration for something greater than yourself. Creativity, motivation, self-respect, respect for something outside himself, all directed at the world. That's a magnetic man.

I think men have become disconnected from those important things over the years, and so women are less interested in them.

It's a complicated problem, but on a personal level it's simple. Get connected to those good things again, learn game too, and be one of the winners.

 

[ulrich]

I think they are missing a key point.

The main reason why society enforces monogamy is for the good of the children.
On a society level, you don’t want family fathers diluting their time and resources breeding new families while they already have one.
You don’t want family mothers breeding children outside of wedlock that will not be cared by their husbands.

Monogamy is a society-level evolutive adaptation that maximizes the wellness of children.

Can you as an individual get past society’s tendencies and create a scenario that is better for you and maximizes your pleasure?
Yes, you can.
Never having children or having concubines besides your main wife are those kind of solutions.

But on a society level, they are un-sustainable options that can only apply to exceptional individuals.
Making them the norm for the common person is self destructive.

 

[Zoro]

I think they are missing a key point.

The main reason why society enforces monogamy is for the good of the children.
On a society level, you don’t want family fathers diluting their time and resources breeding new families while they already have one.
You don’t want family mothers breeding children outside of wedlock that will not be cared by their husbands.

Monogamy is a society-level evolutive adaptation that maximizes the wellness of children.

Can you as an individual get past society’s tendencies and create a scenario that is better for you and maximizes your pleasure?
Yes, you can.
Never having children or having concubines besides your main wife are those kind of solutions.

But on a society level, they are un-sustainable options that can only apply to exceptional individuals.
Making them the norm for the common person is self destructive.

I agree, and would add that the breakdown of the family unit is part of the dating market problem. People growing up with broken households, feminine fathers and masculine mothers, and you get people who cannot relate to themselves and the opposite sex in healthy (and attractive) ways.

 

[slashrfnr]

I agree, and would add that the breakdown of the family unit is part of the dating market problem. People growing up with broken households, feminine fathers and masculine mothers, and you get people who cannot relate to themselves and the opposite sex in healthy (and attractive) ways.

Can you expand on the 'feminine fathers and masculine mothers' part a bit more? I totally agree with the broken households point, and children not having a father figure to look up to. Please don't mistake me as a gender equality nut, as I do agree there are men and women are different and you will never have complete equality e.g men are logical/physically dominant/less caring, and women are more emotional, caring, weak.

I think what i struggle with in the masculinity/femininity space is how much of the behaviour is objectively masculine/feminine, and how much of it is influenced by the societal context at the time? I wonder whether we try and assign this black and white thinking about masculinity and femininity to make up for the complexity of humans and uncertainty in the world. Using an example that I will take to an extreme, a man should never show weakness/emotion to a girl (which I know is not what the GC and SS community necessarily preaches, but using as an example), and at the lizard brain level of when we first evolved, that makes sense. But humans and their needs are so much more complex than that, and I'm sure we all know some guys that are incredibly successful with women who are not super masculine/have more feminine traits.

 

[Zoro]

Can you expand on the 'feminine fathers and masculine mothers' part a bit more? I totally agree with the broken households point, and children not having a father figure to look up to. Please don't mistake me as a gender equality nut, as I do agree there are men and women are different and you will never have complete equality e.g men are logical/physically dominant/less caring, and women are more emotional, caring, weak.

I think what i struggle with in the masculinity/femininity space is how much of the behaviour is objectively masculine/feminine, and how much of it is influenced by the societal context at the time? I wonder whether we try and assign this black and white thinking about masculinity and femininity to make up for the complexity of humans and uncertainty in the world. Using an example that I will take to an extreme, a man should never show weakness/emotion to a girl (which I know is not what the GC and SS community necessarily preaches, but using as an example), and at the lizard brain level of when we first evolved, that makes sense. But humans and their needs are so much more complex than that, and I'm sure we all know some guys that are incredibly successful with women who are not super masculine/have more feminine traits.

If you want to learn more about masculinity I'd recommend you read the book "King, Warrior, Magician, Lover" and/or look up the jungian archetypes.

I know from experience I like polarity in my relationships, and so that means a dynamic between two different but complimentary energies.

 

[slashrfnr]

If you want to learn more about masculinity I'd recommend you read the book "King, Warrior, Magician, Lover" and/or look up the jungian archetypes.

I know from experience I like polarity in my relationships, and so that means a dynamic between two different but complimentary energies.

Thanks man, I've had that on my reading list for ages, so I'll bump it up to the top

 

[SteelbookCollector]

reminds me, people say in the future, there will be A.I. girlfriends or sex robots in the future