Was it my fault...?

[johnydones]

Guys ,I need your opinion about something, where did i go wrong and what i could have done better. (sorry if my English is not so good). i will try to be brief with the story and i will bold the parts where i need your thoughts about my reactions/answers

10 days ago i met this girl at the club , we were at some college party , and we ended up making out . She was not smoking hot, good enough since i need the practice so i went for it. I am 26 y.o. and i think she is 20-21 y.o. (i didnt ask). Tomorrow i sent her sms to arrange a meet and she said she was home in another town and will be back in 5-6 days. I agreed to meet when she is back in town. The problem was she started acting like we were in relationship and wanted to sms chat. Since i read on Girls Chase its a bad idea i just briefly answered and never texted more then she did to me.

Here goes the part im confused about.

We arranged a 1st meet and i called her 1h before , she didnt answer nor reply to text (i only called once and texted once, i hope that was good on my end?). So after 1 hour i changed my plan and i went out with my friends. She called and said she didnt get any message nor call from me , i said "sure , lets meet tomorrow" (i didnt want to look needy by telling Ok lets meet now , and ditch my friends, was that a good move? Maybe i overreacted with whole "im busy and i dont want my time to be wasted by changing plans after just 1h")

Later that night she texts me to come to her flat when im done, i sent her "i dont know where you are you will have to be more specific" and she didnt reply lol

So next day she was on some concert and i went out again with my friends... She texts me to come to her apartment when the concert is finished (I thought it will be over by 3-4am , so i went to my friends place to wait , and i fell asleep.) She wakes me up in 5am telling me to meet in front of her building in 30 minutes , it took me 40 minutes to get there and when i was there i called , no answer, no reply to text... I waited 10 more minutes and she replies "can we meet in 15 minutes" , i replied "No , we cant, i am in front of the building , do you want me to pick you up?" ....No answer for 5 more minutes so i drove home (it was freakin daylight by that time and i was tired as hell and pissed). Not to mention her friend was living with her in same flat (just what i need right?). Later she called me and asked why i didnt wait, i told her "Sorry but i will not wait for you in front of the building in 6:30am, you should have been there on time when we agreed" .

Tomorrow she was pissed , told me i played her twice already... and "you dont know what you want" (i think it was auto-rejection after this). I felt kinda bad , i thought i overreacted in both cases (first when i did not wait more before changing plans , and second time i didnt wait for her in front of the building). I explained to her that i had to go to work and 7am was too late.

Of course she was a no show this time , (i heard that younger girls do this just so they get back to you) and i just texted "please dont waste my time anymore"

Please advise me here , was it my fault that this ended up belly up , or her just being young and what not...
Did i overreact with the whole "im busy and i will not wait for you thing? "
Do you look needy if you wait for her (even though she invites you to come to her flat)
Generally , is there something that you would have differently? Any advice is welcome.


Thanks

John

 

[johnydones]

Can anyone give me advice here , i was told its ok to bump the post if its important to me.

News : She is texting me still but i am ignoring it, do you think i should forget about it and move on or i should arange another meet even though she was no show on last one without reason.

 

[PrettyDecent]

Hey johnydones,

We arranged a 1st meet and i called her 1h before , she didnt answer nor reply to text (i only called once and texted once, i hope that was good on my end?). So after 1 hour i changed my plan and i went out with my friends. She called and said she didnt get any message nor call from me , i said "sure , lets meet tomorrow" (i didnt want to look needy by telling Ok lets meet now , and ditch my friends, was that a good move? Maybe i overreacted with whole "im busy and i dont want my time to be wasted by changing plans after just 1h")

This looks fine.

Later that night she texts me to come to her flat when im done, i sent her "i dont know where you are you will have to be more specific" and she didnt reply lol

Something like "Sure. What's your address?" would have worked. I think your response came off as a little "neg"-ey to her.

So next day she was on some concert and i went out again with my friends... She texts me to come to her apartment when the concert is finished (I thought it will be over by 3-4am , so i went to my friends place to wait , and i fell asleep.) She wakes me up in 5am telling me to meet in front of her building in 30 minutes , it took me 40 minutes to get there and when i was there i called , no answer, no reply to text... I waited 10 more minutes and she replies "can we meet in 15 minutes" , i replied "No , we cant, i am in front of the building , do you want me to pick you up?" ....No answer for 5 more minutes so i drove home

I had a habit a while ago of giving straight-up opinions, or really forward answers. So someone would ask me to grab them some popcorn, and I'd say "Nope! Get it yourself!". Now I'd say "Hmm..we'll see. Maybe later". Which, of course, means never! In terms of reactions from other people, the first gets "Wow, Nick's kind of being a dick" and the other says "Why is that guy trying to make Nick do it?" So if you come up overly forward, you can end up looking like the aggressor...even when it wasn't your fault.

I think in this case you would've been better off communicating that you'd like to see her, but this whole 5 in the morning business is wearing down on you. I'm not sure if this would work, but get her to call you and say: "I'd love to see you tonight, and I know you'd love to see me, [her name], but this 5 in the morning business is throwing me down. I don't care if your room is messy, or if you don't look business professional, I don't bite, and I think meeting right now is the best time"

News : She is texting me still but i am ignoring it, do you think i should forget about it and move on or i should arange another meet even though she was no show on last one without reason.

If she really wants to meet still, invite her straight over to your place at a convenient time for you. If she doesn't come, oh well, at least you didn't drive another 40 minutes . And if she does, great, still easy for you!

Hope that answers your questions, Johny!
~Nick

 

[johnydones]

Thanks so much for your answer man , i am a bit ill at the moment , i will invite her to my place this week, does not hurt to try. If not, well , college year just started and the town is packed with girls