Was this an Escalation Window?

[Nuncle]

I happen to take the same train home as a colleague. We don't know each other that well but there was definitely a spark there.

For the first few days we pretty much ignored each other but gradually got to talking to each other and eventually got to the point where we had a good old chin wag, and I moved over to sit opposite her. During the conversation she said "what are you doing tonight?" (not in a propositioning sort of way, just casually)

At the time I assumed it was just small talk, and before finding this site that is what I would still be thinking.

However, I am now kind of fretting that it was a wide open escalation window. What do you think?

My fundamentals had improved notably during this period.

We get off at different stops, it was a week night, cold, dark and wet and we were both tired.

And she is attached, although the independent, high-flying, "doing it for herself" type.

 

[Verisimilitude]

This was an escalation window, and a good example of how its important to stay focused. Its subtle to you, but to her its obvious. So next time that happens, capitalize on it.

 

[Nuncle]

Thank you.

 

[Marty]

Hey Nuncle,

Did you go direct on her before she said this?

If you did, I'd be extremely inclined to agree with Verisimilitude that it was probably an escalation window—possibly even if you didn't. Eric has written me some wonderful stuff about what he and Chase call "questions of intent". Assuming she could somehow read your interest, then my (amateur) interpretation is that it was a question of intent. That's just my take; Eric may be able to give a ruling

My guess is that an uninterested girl would be super-careful not to say something like this which is very prone to misinterpretation, hence (as V writes) it's quite obvious to her.

-Marty

 

[Nuncle]

Thanks, Marty, and very instructive FR and responses (I really do need to read me some more of those).

Wasn't particularly running game in this instance, other than what I have picked up by osmosis from reading this site. So no openers of any kind, as I know her from the office any way. There was some great deep-diving going on though.

Slight case of one-itis, if I'm being totally honest. There's been a spark there for a while, more from her side to start with.

Anyway,if the putative missed escalation window wasn't enough I shortly afterwards fucked it up in much more spectacular fashion, but I won't go into details as this isn't Girlschump.com ;-)