FU - Wasting time on girls swayed by looks & outcome (in)dependence

[lux7]

I'm walking along in the evening and see this beautiful girl on a bench -maybe not "beautiful" by everyone's standard, but definitely for me-.

Chinese, slender, lovely hairless legs I wanted to bite (hairless is not obvious with some chinese women), small face, small cute nose, stylish, bangs etc.

Her English is rather poor and she doesn't give me anything: one word answers and keeps staring at her phone.
I'm ready to move on and just turn around for a last ditch effort saying "so, this coffe, do you wanna go for it..".

Now she starts talking to me for real and asks me to show some pics of my trip, so I get closer.

Once I touch her arm to make a point, she recoils (and goes off on how conservative she is).
This is a big point for me to consider: yes you can fuck conservative girls quick... Under certain circumstances. And the circumstances here are not particularly in my favour.

It's just a facade, there seem to be a lot of layers before finding any itching for adventures and exotic and quest for fun: she says she's happy in China and could never meet a foreigner as she could never leave her hometown.

So here I'm thinking this isn't going to be a same day lay and if I ain't got time for long game and half considering of moving anyway, but... She's beautiful, and she's getting less resistant to my touch, so I keep spending time with her.

She says she travels alone but she's meeting a friend later whom she met at the hotel.
I consider it might not be true, but she's indeed vocal-texting someone in Chinese... Might also be true.

This was almost the almost last nail in the coffin for me... I'm thinking of way around it and can't find many... Yet I kept spending time together because, hey, she's beautiful. And now she finally moved with me to go watch a nearby free show -after quite some resistance-.

I think "whatever, I'm by myself anyway, worst case scenario it's good company".

Once the show finishes and we start walking she asks where I'm staying.
Holy fuck, is it an escalation window?
Not sure, maybe she was just asking?
I probably talk a bit too long about where I'm staying since I can't actually go there, so I ask her back where is she staying and propose her hotel for a drink.
She says she doesn't drink, so I propose a juice. I insist a bit but she declines offering instead we "exchange contacts".

So I think we should spend some more time together: I want to go towards the boardwalk, she wants to take the train and me to walk with her. I consider for a second to actually follow her, but if she's meeting with a friend, what for?
Also in my experience our dynamics are not yet physical enough to make sex a sure thing.
A bit of a hard push here, but in the end she takes the train, as she keeps looking back towards me.

I was happy and outcome independent AT THE BEGINNING.
As I got more involved, I started investing more and hoping/believing I was going to find a way (just yesterday I had a same day lay).
And now that she walks away and keeps turning around looking at me as she walks, I feel like a dam idiot and swamped with anger.


LESSONS LEARNED:
1. Be outcome independent and keep a good mood whatever happens
This is something I do good most of the times but mightly struggle with when I really wanted the lay and feel like I didn't do everything correctly (it's the "what ifs" which torture me).
It's not easy to combat this one if you like winning and hate losing, but it's doable.

2. Decide for something and don't second guess
"what ifs", I feel, are in part a result of undeciveness.
If you keep thinking of "should I stick with a low chance girl and see where can I take it or should I move" you won't enjoy.
Make (good) decisions, stick with them and enjoy the situation you've gone for.

3. Hard push once you're physically close
This is also an important one that I had never though of before.
I felt much more in control and like I was holding much more power once I could put my hands around her and/or touch her. And she seemed she was more on the verge of following me.
In the last hard push she was physically further away and making it too easy for her to just walk away while it was too chasey/pushy for me to make 2 steps towards her just so I could keep pushing.

 

[lao che]

yo i'm puzzled by your reports. first i thought you were backpacking around SE asia. then i read something you wrote about work and a colleague, now you're in china....

anyhoo, if you're ever in shanghai i have a sofa you can sleep on. same goes for any GC members

 

[lux7]

Hey lao ehehe sounds confusing indeed, traveling around SE indeed, the girl is Chinese but was taking holidays in Singapore, where the events took place. And the work thing is before I left -and still working a bit freelance for the same company for some pocket change -.

Man visiting China and meeting you would be super cool, I brought the VISA application some time ago without any flight tickets and hotels booked and they just gave me the papers back lol .
Will try again though, someone told me that if you contact a hotel they can send you a fake invitation letter which would simplify everything

 

[lux7]

BTW, what do you think about the events here, wasted time or might it have gone somewhere..

 

[lao che]

Man visiting China and meeting you would be super cool

lol you might be a little disappointed


as for the report. i got nothing ...


i'm trying to think of a time when i picked up a girl i couldn't communicate well with... and there is nothing. i know chase has talked about it, and i know other guys do it.
i'm not that good.
maybe if i was younger and sexier i could pull it off but now i really need to be able to banter and tease and cajole and deepdive and, more importantly, listen, i don't talk much so i love a girl who is talkative.
i couldn't have pulled this girl. however i'm a firm believer in burning it to the ground when you have nothing to lose. just going full-on wolf attack ha i can't see any real statements of interest here. compliments?

let's see - you did well plowing through lowering her defenses at first, from one word answers and no EC to getting her asking about you, looking at pics on your phone etc. here, you should get her to return the favor by showing you some of her life, this is gold, actually, when you can't really talk well but she can still get invested and feel that you know her.

then you tried deepdiving a bit but she really had nothing, no hopes dreams etc. but she's got them walls up. i've talked about this with girls (pre-sex) and told them i 'm a wall smasher. just smashing down walls. that's the way i look at pickup now. she's building them up and i'm knocking them down. eventually her arms get tired and she relinquishes

also this report demostrates the importance of logistics and problem solving. sometimes there's nothing you can do though. plus she was hugely resistant, even to go watch a nearby show, so i guess you answered your own question, just wasting time. but let's not look at it like that. enjoy the process, learn. have fun.

i'm wondering about the friend, was it someone she met at her hotel or she was travelling with? was it a guy? if it was a girl .. meh, if i had nothing better to do i might go with. but better would be take details and meet later. if early evening all is not lost by then. depends how genuine you think she is with the friend.

in the end she's a girl travelling in a foreign country so she's ripe for adventure, but you can't win em all. no point getting angry at yourself. you did more than literally >99% of men would have done.

i guess the biggest problem was being blinded by her perceived beauty and forgetting yourself.

and in the end, you part ways, just walk off, don't look back to see her looking back.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKtTmZnVhhI

bit of a mish mash post but there you go

 

[lux7]

also this report demostrates the importance of logistics and problem solving. sometimes there's nothing you can do though. plus she was hugely resistant, even to go watch a nearby show, so i guess you answered your own question, just wasting time. but let's not look at it like that. enjoy the process, learn. have fun.

Good point you make.
Unless money will really be a major issue, I decided this time to stop taking rooms in airbnb with families.
I saw the dirty cheap price tag and this amazing and huge swimming pool they had in their condo and just got blinded .

For enjoying the process, have fun, exactly, you said it, that's really the best approach to have a good time and enjoy life.
And it's possible and easy, just those few times you forget it and get a bit irritated by the flying away bird .

lol you might be a little disappointed

lol no worries man, you don't have to pick me up