- Joined
- Dec 20, 2018
- Messages
- 497
Hey all,
I've been doing a lot of cold approach lately - I love being the chooser of which women I interact with (vs. them choosing you on Tinder, etc), the spontaneous nature and the thrill of it. But I still struggle with the later stages of seduction. There are several "leap of faith" moments - from the initial approach, to the getting the phone number, to the kissing, to the invite back to the apartment, and then finally the physical escalation to sex.
Below are two instant dates from cold approach that happened this weekend, one yesterday and one today. I would love feedback on how I could have escalated better. I really think I need to just stop hesitating so much and pull the trigger more consistently with the invites back to my place.
1.) Cold approach on the street. She was wearing a black top and a white skirt, looking very nice. I walked up from behind her, passed her, then turned around and said hi (continuing to walk). Opened direct. Dialog was something like:
And off we went. This was a happy hour in which people can practice different languages, so I knew full well the risks of taking a woman to a place like this (competition from other men). At first I took her to an isolated place in the bar and talked for about 30 minutes before we mingled with the rest of the group there. There were times that I left her on her own while other people talked to her (and I talked to others). However I was lucky, and no other guy decided to seriously go for her - we ended up at the bar organically talking about lots of subjects. Eventually I decided to move to another venue and she agreed.
Second venue is where I decided to go for the physical escalations, but she was pulling back and giving me resistance to any touching. This is where I knew things were likely going south - I had not/was not generating enough attraction, and nothing I did could turn this around.
It may simply be that I had the wrong choice of primary venue - a social event, instead of starting one on one from the get-go. It's natural for my mind to think that inviting a woman to a social event I was going to anyway seems natural, but in fact is the wrong approach for seduction where you are trying to isolate the girl. This is my current theory anyway, and there may have been other factors.
2.) Cold approach at whole foods today. I really wish I had recorded the dialogue from this one, because it would have been fantastic to analyze afterwards. I walk out with my groceries, and I notice a latina girl sitting inside the store looking outside at the sidewalk, eating fruit. We make eye contact and I continue walking. I hesitate, turn around, go back into the store and approach her. She was all smiles. Below is not the exact dialoque, but these things were said:
(As an aside, the Jeff Bezos comment was problably partially inspired due to my clean-shaven head).
At this point, the girl was clearly very intrigued by me. I find out she is 21, still in college, and lives with her family nearby. We talk about her life, what she is studying, where she has traveled, what she likes to dance, etc. I throw in some of my usual spikes, such as "I bet you are very straight edge, no boys, no parties - did you go to church today?", the standard respond to "do you always approach women like this" (yeah, you are number 3,726) and after she asks me how old I am "Too old for you".
Then I try to move her - she said she liked smoothies, so I say lets go get a smoothie nearby. She resists - she doesn't want to get off from her chair. Dialogue something like this:
Looking back, that comment from her right then might have been a big green flag to do just that. But she was also physically resisting the attempt to move, even inside the whole foods. Eventually I grab her fruit and start walking to where the smoothies are, to which she gives out a *sigh* and says "fine - let's go".
I buy her a smoothie and one for myself, and while we are drinking them, we talk some more. Here is where I feel the conversation winding down and losing its flair - and I'm honestly not sure what to do.
Thoughts in my mind: How do I escalate this? Should I escalate this or end? What's the point of the instant date anyway if it doesn't lead to anything?
Then, her brothers call her on the phone - they would like for her to stop by the Wal-Mart and buy them something, according to her. My instinct is to take this as an excuse to end the interaction shortly afterwards, telling her to go do what she needs to do, and that I'll contact her later for some wine. She says okay, possibly with some slight disappointment in her voice. She has still not responded to my ice-breaker text.
For some reason, I just didn't pull the trigger on this one - this was possibly a green light for an invite home, especially with the favorable logistics (my place was within walking distance). I literally had nothing to lose but I failed to do it - my instinct in the moment for some reason still tells me its improper to do that so soon, and I probably need to re-program that belief ASAP.
Feedback on this is appreciated. Thanks all.
I've been doing a lot of cold approach lately - I love being the chooser of which women I interact with (vs. them choosing you on Tinder, etc), the spontaneous nature and the thrill of it. But I still struggle with the later stages of seduction. There are several "leap of faith" moments - from the initial approach, to the getting the phone number, to the kissing, to the invite back to the apartment, and then finally the physical escalation to sex.
Below are two instant dates from cold approach that happened this weekend, one yesterday and one today. I would love feedback on how I could have escalated better. I really think I need to just stop hesitating so much and pull the trigger more consistently with the invites back to my place.
1.) Cold approach on the street. She was wearing a black top and a white skirt, looking very nice. I walked up from behind her, passed her, then turned around and said hi (continuing to walk). Opened direct. Dialog was something like:
And off we went. This was a happy hour in which people can practice different languages, so I knew full well the risks of taking a woman to a place like this (competition from other men). At first I took her to an isolated place in the bar and talked for about 30 minutes before we mingled with the rest of the group there. There were times that I left her on her own while other people talked to her (and I talked to others). However I was lucky, and no other guy decided to seriously go for her - we ended up at the bar organically talking about lots of subjects. Eventually I decided to move to another venue and she agreed.
Second venue is where I decided to go for the physical escalations, but she was pulling back and giving me resistance to any touching. This is where I knew things were likely going south - I had not/was not generating enough attraction, and nothing I did could turn this around.
It may simply be that I had the wrong choice of primary venue - a social event, instead of starting one on one from the get-go. It's natural for my mind to think that inviting a woman to a social event I was going to anyway seems natural, but in fact is the wrong approach for seduction where you are trying to isolate the girl. This is my current theory anyway, and there may have been other factors.
2.) Cold approach at whole foods today. I really wish I had recorded the dialogue from this one, because it would have been fantastic to analyze afterwards. I walk out with my groceries, and I notice a latina girl sitting inside the store looking outside at the sidewalk, eating fruit. We make eye contact and I continue walking. I hesitate, turn around, go back into the store and approach her. She was all smiles. Below is not the exact dialoque, but these things were said:
(As an aside, the Jeff Bezos comment was problably partially inspired due to my clean-shaven head).
At this point, the girl was clearly very intrigued by me. I find out she is 21, still in college, and lives with her family nearby. We talk about her life, what she is studying, where she has traveled, what she likes to dance, etc. I throw in some of my usual spikes, such as "I bet you are very straight edge, no boys, no parties - did you go to church today?", the standard respond to "do you always approach women like this" (yeah, you are number 3,726) and after she asks me how old I am "Too old for you".
Then I try to move her - she said she liked smoothies, so I say lets go get a smoothie nearby. She resists - she doesn't want to get off from her chair. Dialogue something like this:
Científico: Let's go, we can get a smoothie right here nearby. Strawberry and banana just like you like them
Her: I dont know...
Científico: Come on, it's literally right here inside the whole foods. Or how about a beer?
Her: Definately not!
Her: I think I'll just chill right here...if we go, it might escalate, you might say let's get salad, or steak
Científico: I'm vegan, and no I wont let you seduce me
Looking back, that comment from her right then might have been a big green flag to do just that. But she was also physically resisting the attempt to move, even inside the whole foods. Eventually I grab her fruit and start walking to where the smoothies are, to which she gives out a *sigh* and says "fine - let's go".
I buy her a smoothie and one for myself, and while we are drinking them, we talk some more. Here is where I feel the conversation winding down and losing its flair - and I'm honestly not sure what to do.
Thoughts in my mind: How do I escalate this? Should I escalate this or end? What's the point of the instant date anyway if it doesn't lead to anything?
Then, her brothers call her on the phone - they would like for her to stop by the Wal-Mart and buy them something, according to her. My instinct is to take this as an excuse to end the interaction shortly afterwards, telling her to go do what she needs to do, and that I'll contact her later for some wine. She says okay, possibly with some slight disappointment in her voice. She has still not responded to my ice-breaker text.
For some reason, I just didn't pull the trigger on this one - this was possibly a green light for an invite home, especially with the favorable logistics (my place was within walking distance). I literally had nothing to lose but I failed to do it - my instinct in the moment for some reason still tells me its improper to do that so soon, and I probably need to re-program that belief ASAP.
Feedback on this is appreciated. Thanks all.
