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- Aug 12, 2014
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Got a kinda situation on my hands that has blown up in the schoolyard with a woman I'll call Sam #2, she has a boy in my son's year. I made friends with her when they came to a party at my house, following which she would make excuses to catch up with me and exchange texts etc... for instance she wanted to give me some linens she doesn't use anymore, etc. At the time I thought she was just being friendly. I'm not attracted, although I've had some coffee dates with her with good conversation. I can see now she might have regarded this as going somewhere, but WTF, she is married, she doesn't use touch or flirting really, so situation is a little confusing.
Anyway that's the background. She has invited me to an opening of a building, these texts are from a while back:
So then she was very keen to meet me for coffee because of some urgent matter, turns out the urgent matter was apparently that I am screwing Sam #1, well this is true but we have been reasonably discreet, I didn't confirm or deny this to Sam #2 as I didn't think it any of her business. It's no secret that I meet Sam #1 for playdates regularly before school and this is apparently what has got tongues wagging, I paid it no real mind. Sam #2 then attempts a kinda chase frame, saying people are saying I'm into Sam #2 and blah blah blah. Hmm. I try to have her clarify her own position (is she happy in her marriage), she doesn't do so, so I just ignore this as well.
Where it starts to get nasty: She's then approached Sam #1 saying all kinds of confusing shit and really putting the wind up her, Sam #1 is upset (to the point she wants to move her kids to a different school) and I don't blame her. We are pretty sure it's actually Sam #2 spreading the stories because she is jealous and sexually frustrated and not getting dick. Argh.
So just now Sam #2 sends me this angry and bitter text:
OK so here is the question.
She is obviously crazy and right approach is probably hard NEXT, have nothing to do with her and try to limit the damage that way.
On the other hand if she is referring to the building opening it is a genuine misunderstanding, she has got her dates mixed up and I was waiting for clarification, when I look back through the text history I see she did actually mention it again but hidden in another longer message so I didn't notice.
I could easily try to sort out the misunderstanding and clarify things and try to limit the damage that way. Franco often recommends this kind of approach to handling drama, but I think only for women you value in your life? Otherwise NEXT?
Help.
cheers, Ray
Edit: Also should I chew her out for upsetting Sam #1 and spreading stories etc, it seems a bit beta not to express how angry I am at this intrusion, OTOH it's an attention thing so maybe just best not to reward this behaviour with attention?
Anyway that's the background. She has invited me to an opening of a building, these texts are from a while back:
Eh? This was the first indication she's actually a nutter.Her: Hi ray will you be at uni on [date] i will be at a building opening from around 7 there will be drinks and the usual stuff let me know if you want to go bye sam #2 from school
Me: hey Sam #2 thanks for the kind invite, i'm afraid your msg slipped through the cracks, I had been meaning to check the kids schedule and get back to you, it looks as if it falls on a kids weekend which is tricky...is it a project that you managed? not that huge new building near [place]?
Me: oh hold on [date] thats a thursday right? yes i would like to come if invitation is still open
Her: I thought it was a friday will check there will be a mix of people you may meet someone nice who knows bye for now
Me: wow everybody is offering to set me up these days, must be doing something righti'll look forward to your confirmation, hope you're having a fun day cu
Her: I suggest young with one child or one young child and expanding your horizons beyond working the mothers group circuit at school due to gossip etc
So then she was very keen to meet me for coffee because of some urgent matter, turns out the urgent matter was apparently that I am screwing Sam #1, well this is true but we have been reasonably discreet, I didn't confirm or deny this to Sam #2 as I didn't think it any of her business. It's no secret that I meet Sam #1 for playdates regularly before school and this is apparently what has got tongues wagging, I paid it no real mind. Sam #2 then attempts a kinda chase frame, saying people are saying I'm into Sam #2 and blah blah blah. Hmm. I try to have her clarify her own position (is she happy in her marriage), she doesn't do so, so I just ignore this as well.
Where it starts to get nasty: She's then approached Sam #1 saying all kinds of confusing shit and really putting the wind up her, Sam #1 is upset (to the point she wants to move her kids to a different school) and I don't blame her. We are pretty sure it's actually Sam #2 spreading the stories because she is jealous and sexually frustrated and not getting dick. Argh.
So just now Sam #2 sends me this angry and bitter text:
Note she knows I am dating, improving my fashion etc cos we've had long deep conversation over coffee...
OK so here is the question.
She is obviously crazy and right approach is probably hard NEXT, have nothing to do with her and try to limit the damage that way.
On the other hand if she is referring to the building opening it is a genuine misunderstanding, she has got her dates mixed up and I was waiting for clarification, when I look back through the text history I see she did actually mention it again but hidden in another longer message so I didn't notice.
I could easily try to sort out the misunderstanding and clarify things and try to limit the damage that way. Franco often recommends this kind of approach to handling drama, but I think only for women you value in your life? Otherwise NEXT?
Help.
cheers, Ray
Edit: Also should I chew her out for upsetting Sam #1 and spreading stories etc, it seems a bit beta not to express how angry I am at this intrusion, OTOH it's an attention thing so maybe just best not to reward this behaviour with attention?
