So met a girl online and we went on 8 or 9 dates over a 4 month period. All the dates were public places and just involved some kissing - no sex, but we both had a great time and good convo etc. I'm new to the dating game again after having been in a few longer term relationships and definitely recognize I've made some mistakes after reading some of the articles on here...Texting a lot with her over that period and not pushing her objections hard enough to take her back to her place (the logistics aren't great for me as I live 20 mins outside the city currently). I noticed in hindsight that both of the times she was giving me signals but objecting, and I didn't push hard enough she flaked on our next date.
Anyway, about a month ago she said she thought maybe we should just be friends. I took that as an opportunity to put into use the stuff from the how to get girls back article, so changed my behaviour accordingly by being less available, not responding to some of her texts, etc. she was away a couple times over the next few weeks but texted me in between and said she missed me. I made plans to meet her for drinks and then cancelled on her when she said she was still up for drinks, but later at night telling her I made plans with someone else and to have a good night. She texted me a few times that night and asked where I ended up going, how was my night, and another one late asking if I was home yet. A few days later she texted and said I miss you...when can we hang out? So made plans to have drinks with her. I was picking up on a lot of signals again - she kept touching me etc, but at the same time was saying she was tired and had an early morning. When we got outside I pulled her into a doorway and started kissing her hard and got her excited to the point she had her hand down my pants. I ended up getting her home - although she objected probably 5 more times in the 5 min walk to her place, but it was all or nothing for me at this point so I kept pushing. Bedded her within mins of getting her inside and she even initiated a second round later. I also stayed over since she wanted me to, got up in the morning, kissed her goodbye and left. Oh, and her place was a complete mess when I took her home, but she had completely cleaned it by the time I got up...took this as a sign she liked me as well in addition to her telling me she really liked me several times that night.
Here is the confusing part for me. I went away the next day for the weekend and came back on the Monday. She texted me and said she was thinking we could hang out that evening (9:30pm) I said sure and she asked if I had any suggestion, to which I replied that I could come to her place or her to my place. She said ok, that could work and then kept texting etc. and I was asking her which she preferred. Anyhow, with the texts back and forth (she took a while to reply to some), at 10:30 she said she wanted to come to my place, but it was getting too late so let's do it another night (she basically sleeps 4 hours a night, so goes to bed at 2 or 3am), so I don't understand why 10:30 is too late. Anyhow, I say sure another night would be great. Then Thursday I'm out downtown with some friends and she texts me at 10pm to see how my night is going. We exchange a couple messages and she says enjoy your night - I reply thanks. 5 mins later she texts me and says good chat. And then that she was expecting more convo. And then says we can meet up with her and her friends. I said sure that would be cool, and she ends up texting me all night saying they haven't decided where they're going etc. (that they were at a friends house)...I said she's welcome to come meet us at the bar we're at, she keeps sending meaningless texts asking what the place is like etc and I finally say listen -either you're coming to meet or you're not - make up your mind! She replies and says why are you being so aggressive? Then says ya, she will come - this is at 12, just getting a cab. At 12:45 says she's in the cab and then at 1:15 saying they are gonna drop her friend off bc she's too tired and lives in the area, and she kept texting in between saying she's tired and not staying out long, and she knows she's lame etc. she showed up at 2am...where she said was would have been 10 mins max.Funny part is we talk on messenger and I don't think she realizes that with the location service activated you can click on any message she sends and it shows on a map her location. She was at home the entire night and left at 1:55 -she's only 5 mins away. Lol. Most of my friends had left by then, so I left with her to go to another bar. Left at 3 and I hailed a cab and told her we were going to her place. She objects and says no we aren't and then says her sisters friends are staying there. I was irritated at this point as I didn't want to go all the way home (20 mins drive away and had to be back downtown by 8am) when her place was so close. So I said, what they are staying in your bed? and she said maybe 1, I'm definitely staying in my bed. I think she offered to pay for the cab to my house, but I said naw, no point. Not sure if she was hinting she'd come, but after the other stuff she said already I didn't pick up on that and was irritated by all her texting bs all night. So kissed her for about 30 seconds, put her in a cab and left. But in hindsight, why would she come meet up with me then if she didn't want some?
So Friday she texts me at 8:30 saying she's leaving her friends house and to see if I wanted to watch a movie with her at my place, so I agree. She does the random texting back and forth taking an hour to figure it all out and then asks me when the last train back is - it's midnight so I tell her she can stay over and she says ok. Then asks what time the train to get here is and I reply 10:20 and 10:50 (it's now 10:10 by this point). She replies omg that's not ideal and. I ask why and she says it will take her 15 mins to get to the train and I say ya take the 10:50. She replies - it's so late! And I say you don't go to bed until 3am anyway, why do you always say its so late? She gets all mad about it and I said you obviously don't want to come and then she said that's not true she really did. Lol. Anyhow I call her and she doesn't answer. I text and say I can just drive to your place and be there in a1/2 hour. And she says no it's too late, unless you want to meet somewhere for a drink? So I drive there and text her saying I'm here are we meeting for a drink? She replies you are bad at communicating. Sorry, no. So I left and we haven't spoken since (a week).
I actually really like her and we have a great time together, so would like to see her again. Not sure why she would keep asking me to hang out here and then bail? Why even ask in the first place? Maybe she wants to, but gets nervous about it bc she doesn't want to seem slutty? She told me she was conservative when I first met her and also said that at the bar the night I slept with her, lol. And she's been single for 2 years but was previously in 2 long term relationships and that she hates dating. She had told me before she was looking for a relationship, and I told her the same. She also had previously told me I'm hard to read and she wasn't sure if I was sincere. Was surprised to hear all that. I've told her I like her a lot and tried to reassure her about things previously.
Wondering what to do here...lost cause or any suggestions to get it back on track again? Also any analysis as to what occurred would be helpful for me. Thanks!
Anyway, about a month ago she said she thought maybe we should just be friends. I took that as an opportunity to put into use the stuff from the how to get girls back article, so changed my behaviour accordingly by being less available, not responding to some of her texts, etc. she was away a couple times over the next few weeks but texted me in between and said she missed me. I made plans to meet her for drinks and then cancelled on her when she said she was still up for drinks, but later at night telling her I made plans with someone else and to have a good night. She texted me a few times that night and asked where I ended up going, how was my night, and another one late asking if I was home yet. A few days later she texted and said I miss you...when can we hang out? So made plans to have drinks with her. I was picking up on a lot of signals again - she kept touching me etc, but at the same time was saying she was tired and had an early morning. When we got outside I pulled her into a doorway and started kissing her hard and got her excited to the point she had her hand down my pants. I ended up getting her home - although she objected probably 5 more times in the 5 min walk to her place, but it was all or nothing for me at this point so I kept pushing. Bedded her within mins of getting her inside and she even initiated a second round later. I also stayed over since she wanted me to, got up in the morning, kissed her goodbye and left. Oh, and her place was a complete mess when I took her home, but she had completely cleaned it by the time I got up...took this as a sign she liked me as well in addition to her telling me she really liked me several times that night.
Here is the confusing part for me. I went away the next day for the weekend and came back on the Monday. She texted me and said she was thinking we could hang out that evening (9:30pm) I said sure and she asked if I had any suggestion, to which I replied that I could come to her place or her to my place. She said ok, that could work and then kept texting etc. and I was asking her which she preferred. Anyhow, with the texts back and forth (she took a while to reply to some), at 10:30 she said she wanted to come to my place, but it was getting too late so let's do it another night (she basically sleeps 4 hours a night, so goes to bed at 2 or 3am), so I don't understand why 10:30 is too late. Anyhow, I say sure another night would be great. Then Thursday I'm out downtown with some friends and she texts me at 10pm to see how my night is going. We exchange a couple messages and she says enjoy your night - I reply thanks. 5 mins later she texts me and says good chat. And then that she was expecting more convo. And then says we can meet up with her and her friends. I said sure that would be cool, and she ends up texting me all night saying they haven't decided where they're going etc. (that they were at a friends house)...I said she's welcome to come meet us at the bar we're at, she keeps sending meaningless texts asking what the place is like etc and I finally say listen -either you're coming to meet or you're not - make up your mind! She replies and says why are you being so aggressive? Then says ya, she will come - this is at 12, just getting a cab. At 12:45 says she's in the cab and then at 1:15 saying they are gonna drop her friend off bc she's too tired and lives in the area, and she kept texting in between saying she's tired and not staying out long, and she knows she's lame etc. she showed up at 2am...where she said was would have been 10 mins max.Funny part is we talk on messenger and I don't think she realizes that with the location service activated you can click on any message she sends and it shows on a map her location. She was at home the entire night and left at 1:55 -she's only 5 mins away. Lol. Most of my friends had left by then, so I left with her to go to another bar. Left at 3 and I hailed a cab and told her we were going to her place. She objects and says no we aren't and then says her sisters friends are staying there. I was irritated at this point as I didn't want to go all the way home (20 mins drive away and had to be back downtown by 8am) when her place was so close. So I said, what they are staying in your bed? and she said maybe 1, I'm definitely staying in my bed. I think she offered to pay for the cab to my house, but I said naw, no point. Not sure if she was hinting she'd come, but after the other stuff she said already I didn't pick up on that and was irritated by all her texting bs all night. So kissed her for about 30 seconds, put her in a cab and left. But in hindsight, why would she come meet up with me then if she didn't want some?
So Friday she texts me at 8:30 saying she's leaving her friends house and to see if I wanted to watch a movie with her at my place, so I agree. She does the random texting back and forth taking an hour to figure it all out and then asks me when the last train back is - it's midnight so I tell her she can stay over and she says ok. Then asks what time the train to get here is and I reply 10:20 and 10:50 (it's now 10:10 by this point). She replies omg that's not ideal and. I ask why and she says it will take her 15 mins to get to the train and I say ya take the 10:50. She replies - it's so late! And I say you don't go to bed until 3am anyway, why do you always say its so late? She gets all mad about it and I said you obviously don't want to come and then she said that's not true she really did. Lol. Anyhow I call her and she doesn't answer. I text and say I can just drive to your place and be there in a1/2 hour. And she says no it's too late, unless you want to meet somewhere for a drink? So I drive there and text her saying I'm here are we meeting for a drink? She replies you are bad at communicating. Sorry, no. So I left and we haven't spoken since (a week).
I actually really like her and we have a great time together, so would like to see her again. Not sure why she would keep asking me to hang out here and then bail? Why even ask in the first place? Maybe she wants to, but gets nervous about it bc she doesn't want to seem slutty? She told me she was conservative when I first met her and also said that at the bar the night I slept with her, lol. And she's been single for 2 years but was previously in 2 long term relationships and that she hates dating. She had told me before she was looking for a relationship, and I told her the same. She also had previously told me I'm hard to read and she wasn't sure if I was sincere. Was surprised to hear all that. I've told her I like her a lot and tried to reassure her about things previously.
Wondering what to do here...lost cause or any suggestions to get it back on track again? Also any analysis as to what occurred would be helpful for me. Thanks!
