LR- Well that was unexpected. Finally just got lucky!

[ElderPrice]

I've been on this journey for approaching two years now, trying to get somewhere with women for the first time in my life. Throughout this entire time, I've NEVER gotten lucky. Not even once. It's always driven me crazy lol. I figure I'm doing SOMETHING pretty completely wrong because I just couldn't stumble upon an easy girl or situation by chance. Until now.

Last weekend I went to the same dance venue I've been frequenting just about every weekend for a few months now. Everything was the same. Same attire, same amount of fun dancing, same gist of asking friends to dance, or cute new girls for the first time to dance. I spotted a girl that didn't really catch my eye on the dance floor, but I was looking for someone to dance with, we made eye contact, and I asked her. She ended up being pretty sexy. About 3 years older than me.

Anyway, we danced and we both had fun. At this point with every other girl even if they enjoyed the dance they would turn their back to me and run off, with zero interest in having a conversation. God knows why. But this one was different. She wanted to talk. We playfully chatted for a little. Then she asked me to move with her to the bar. I did, saying I was thirsty. She flagged down the bartender and ordered two waters for us. She initiated the flirting. She heavily complimented me. At this point I realized SHE was gaming ME! She had to go since she was the DD for her friends, so we exchanged contact info.

After some simple texting, we arranged to get together on Thursday. She asked where we should meet. I suggested her place and she agreed without objecting. I got there right after work. We sat on her couch and ended up talking for a few hours (I know. bleh!). When I tried to move things forward she would resist. But she clearly wasn't bored or uncomfortable. And she was still making this easy. She initiated a lot of the flirting. She initiated many points in the conversation where she turned the topics sexual. At one point when I tried to move things forward she basically said 'too soon. It needs to build more tension. Keep doing what you're doing.' Okie dokie haha. So I could tell if I stuck to it I could get somewhere. Toward the end of the multi hour talking we both get up to get a drink from the fridge. She takes out some beers and goes to open them at the counter., now facing away from me. I walk up behind her and start kissing her neck. She doesn't really react. She didn't grab me and stick her tongue down my throat, but she definitely didn't pull away and wasn't surprised. She obviously liked it.

We go back to talking on the couch. After a few minutes she stretches her legs across my lap. I basically start petting them as we keep talking. She slowly keeps changing her body position like she's planning to straddle my lap. Eventually I'm like "lol just do it already." She then straddles me and we start making out. After, I don't know, 15 minutes or so, she's turned on and I say let's move to her bedroom. She agrees. We hop into her bed, she blows me, I finger her, then we're laying there enjoying each other's company.

Then I notice the time (about 1am) and that I forgot to eat dinner. I was fucking starving lol. Like, getting a headache and feeling weak starving. And I was starting to get anxious at the amount of sleep I was already going to lose that night. Losing sleep annoys me because it ruins my gym routine. It basically can undo an entire week's worth of work at the gym. But she was still cuddling and showed plenty of signs she wanted to keep things going. I got hard again and mentioned that I had condoms. It was at this point she tossed up some resistance. She said something like "let's save that for another time. That way I know you have something to come back for! lol." I told her how I was feeling and implied I'd stay if we could fuck but otherwise I have to go. I felt like crap, didn't have anything I needed to stay the night... I just didn't feel it. She again declined sex and said she didn't mind at all if I left. So even though I'm confident I could have gone all the way if I stayed longer, I had to bounce. I legitimately felt like shit.

I texted her the next day and haven't received a response Oh well. An awesome experience if for no other reason that it was SO FUCKING REFRESHING to get somewhere easily. Every other girl it feels like if I so much as sneeze she's a goner. I seriously can't communicate how refreshing it feels. Almost like a vacation.

Hopefully the start of a trend!

 

[lostnumber]

Congrats! Lots of things to learn from this, but sometimes the biggest thing is getting that first breakthrough. Now leverage that into more results

 

[ElderPrice]

Thanks man! Much appreciated!

 

[TrickyD]

Most girls have a 3 date rule. Blowing you at less than 3 makes you a one-night stand, and she probably feels guilty about that. That’s why she’s not returning your messages.

2 ways to work within her (probable) 3 date mindset:

Change venues. When you hit a roadblock earlier, go for a walk and get some food. Then come back. This is less likely to succeed, but if you have a special need for a fast lay, then this is better than staying in the same place.

Add a quick meeting before your couch date at hers. Coffee for an hour, lunch but you have to go back to work, 1 drink before you do something with friends, something like that. This is more likely to succeed, and overall takes less of your time.

 

[Seppuku]

Good job!

You are getting there! Just keep going.

After some simple texting, we arranged to get together on Thursday. She asked where we should meet. I suggested her place and she agreed without objecting.

Very good move. First date straight at her place, that's the sort of bold move that will win you girls. Being bold pays much more than being prudent and slow.

At one point when I tried to move things forward she basically said 'too soon. It needs to build more tension. Keep doing what you're doing.' Okie dokie haha. So I could tell if I stuck to it I could get somewhere.

That's exactly the spirit. You try. Check the response. If good, step up. If not, just step back a little then try again. And again. And again. That's calibrated escalation.

I walk up behind her and start kissing her neck. She doesn't really react. She didn't grab me and stick her tongue down my throat, but she definitely didn't pull away and wasn't surprised. She obviously liked it.

When she lets you become close it means you're almost there.

After, I don't know, 15 minutes or so, she's turned on and I say let's move to her bedroom. She agrees. We hop into her bed, she blows me, I finger her, then we're laying there enjoying each other's company.

Nice! However may I ask: Why you didn't go all the way? That was the right time.

Losing sleep annoys me because it ruins my gym routine. It basically can undo an entire week's worth of work at the gym.

I understand the starving part. But man, between losing your virginity and losing a week at the gym... Isn't it a no brainer?

But she was still cuddling and showed plenty of signs she wanted to keep things going. I got hard again and mentioned that I had condoms. It was at this point she tossed up some resistance.

Probably a mistake to mention the condom at this stage. . You must have spiked her Anti Slut Defenses. Instead of mentioning condoms, just stay quiet, take her hand, and lead her to the bedroom. But I also think it needed to start escalation again, to some extent.

I texted her the next day and haven't received a response Oh well.

That happens. My guess is, stopping the escalation at fingering and blowjob counts as a failed escalation - as you didn't go all the way. Never mind. Very well done for a first time!

Hopefully the start of a trend!

Certainly the start of a trend. As you get more confidence towards sexual escalation, you will start seeing the girls coming your way.

 

[ElderPrice]

Nice! However may I ask: Why you didn't go all the way? That was the right time.

I understand the starving part. But man, between losing your virginity and losing a week at the gym... Isn't it a no brainer?

Thanks for the reply man, but I think you missed that this was from 2 months ago

Yes you're completely right, that was the time... but I was really, really feeling crappy when it got to that point! Hahaha. And you know what? Part of that judgement call was also confidence. Like, yeah I could try to do this while literally feeling sick, or I could just do it another time, whether that's with this girl or another girl. In other words, I felt confident more opportunities would easily be on the horizon.

So far it's been two months and I've been wrong! Haha