What are you doing tonight? Text

[RDawg]

Hey fellas, I've gotten these "what are you doing tonight?" text's before and I know these are practically a "booty call" from girls. I remember Chase posting a line on answering these texts some where on the boards. It went along the lines... "Watching a movie and having some popcorn with you" or something.

Anyways, this girl that I was trying to plan a date with hit me up at 12:30AM today. I saw the text at around 1AM after I finished banging some girl that I fucked before. I am currently writing this while I print out my lab report for school tomorrow lol.

Me: ahh ya I'm busy on the weekend. How about we just in touch after the weekend and see if our schedules fall in line? 5:00PM
Her: Alright, ya that sounds good 6:00PM
Her: What are you doing tonight? 12:30AM
Me: Hey, just out with some friends, hbu? 1:08AM
Her: At xyz(college bar) and kinda drunk
Me: Haha ya, how is it?
Her: It's not that great haha I actually almost got kicked out because they thought I was too drunk but I'm good now lmao 1:16Am
Her: Where did you go? 1:24AM
Me: haha really eh? I was just at bar xyz for some drinks and i'm heading home now. Did you want to come by and watch a movie or something? 1:28AM
Her: Sorry i'm with my friends and I think i'm drunk for that haha 1:42AM
Her: Where do you live 1:42AM
Me: haha I may be a bit tipsy myself! ***** XYZ road. It's by the mall, not far lol!
Her: **** XYZ road?? That doesn't seem like a road to me haha but i'm on XYZ rd. so it's pretty far.
Me: ya, it's the first street off XYZ main road! Next to the big Italian club!
Her: Lmao you would live near the Italian club 1:50AM
Me: haha ya it's practically my back yard 1:52AM
Her: I'm currently waiting for a pita at pita place 1:55AM
Me: haha bring me some food 1:56AM
Her: I ain't paying for that cab haha 1:56AM
Me: haha it won't be much. I'll give you some money for the cab fare. 1:56AM
Her: My car is by the University though!I live out in YYZ and need to get up early, so it's far which sucks 2:05AM
Me: Well take a cab here, sober up for a bit and then you can take a cab back to your car and drive home instead of getting your car tomorrow! 2:05AM
Her: lol i'm broke as shit... you'll have to take me out before I stay over at your house 2:12AM
Me: haha i'll cover you. Trust me, it will be worth it 2:14AM
Her: Lol you can come to me 2:18AM (Like ya right i'm going to see your ass. you texted me)
Me: go to you? why it's cold out wherever you are. It's nice warm here and plus it would be much more relaxing 2:26AM
Her: I'm not outside haha it's very warm and relaxing where I am 2:30AM
Me: Ha sure it is.... 2:34AM
Me: Well, i'm gonna head to bed lol. Enjoy the rest of your night 2:39Am
Her: It is! haha but ya same i'm exhausted goodnight

Not even sure if my dick would work. I already got off twice from the girl I banged earlier. Anyways, do you think I handled this properly fellas. Once, in a while i'll get these texts from girls that are downtown and their a bit drunk. I refuse to go meet them at a bar or club because that is 100% chasing. I feel like inviting them over to my place would be the best. Just wondering what some of you guys think and if you would do anything differently. This girl was close to coming over but no big deal. Not sure her what her deal ended up being.

The only thing I could of thought of doing different was a "Phone Call" after she said "where do you live". Nearly called her around 2AM but I didn't because 1) I didn't care about getting her over anymore cuz it was getting late and my rents would SHOOT me and 2) Not sure if the phone call would of made a difference at this point.

All the best,

Rdawg

 

[Franco]

RDawg,

I don't think any harm was done (if that's what you're asking), but I agree with Drexel that that conversation was much longer than it should have been! Once you started offering money for the cab fare, it definitely started sounding a little more desperate. Also, your texting times were too frequent; sometimes it's best just to not answer at a moment when she doesn't comply, and suddenly she'll change her mind. For example:

Her: Sorry i'm with my friends and I think i'm drunk for that haha 1:42AM
Her: Where do you live 1:42AM
Me: haha I may be a bit tipsy myself! ***** XYZ road. It's by the mall, not far lol!
Her: **** XYZ road?? That doesn't seem like a road to me haha but i'm on XYZ rd. so it's pretty far.

After that last text, she was just playing coy by stating that you were "too far away." At that point, I probably would have just gone silent on her. It's one of those things where she realizes 20 minutes later that you're not going to chase her, and suddenly she texts you again with something like, "actually, my friends are gonna stop by that area for food. Do you still want to meet?"

I can't count the number of times a girl has tried to be coy with me just for me to stop responding and then have her come back and give me compliance when she realizes I'm not going to play along. Of course, sometimes the girl just isn't interested (like Drexel mentioned), and at least you've then saved yourself the trouble of looking a bit too needy by trying to convince her to come over, which will still give you a chance with her later (since she recognizes you're not the type to chase her).

Remember, you were at the bars too. If you stop texting her, for all she knows, maybe you're about to go home with another girl and she's missing her chance!

- Franco

 

[RDawg]

DrexelScott

Sure I did, but a girl just doesn't ask "where do you live?" if she wasn't interested. I'm not saying this girl was down but i'm not saying she wasn't. She seemed like she was on the fence contemplating about it. Honestly, maybe if logistics were better she would of came. However, the texting after 2AM was pointless. Yes, I got logical but I had the feeling she probably wasn't coming and I was just experimenting with different things. Personally, I didn't care of the outcome.

I would have said "well I'm watching a movie, you're welcome to join." If she said yes, I'd give her my address. If she said no, I'd say "ok" and then move on with my evening.

This was kind of what I was looking for. Honestly, your response is not that different from mine about inviting her over. She ended up asking for my address (She's interested and thinking about coming over). I gave it to her. She never said she was going to come or not (that's why I did try to convince her to come). So ya, based on your response, I don't think it is improperly handled, at least that part. I feel like my response "Did you want to come by and watch a movie or something?" is along the same line as yours. Sure, the logical texting after was unnecessary and I could of just left it at some point but it's not like it would of effected anything, except maybe experiment with a few things and waste some time lol.

Thanks for the response Drexell!

Rdawg

 

[RDawg]

Franco

I don't think any harm was done (if that's what you're asking),

Agree lol

but I agree with Drexel that that conversation was much longer than it should have been! Once you started offering money for the cab fare, it definitely started sounding a little more desperate.

I don't disagree at all lol. The conversation did become unnecessary after a certain point. Personally, I didn't really care and I was trying to convince her to come over in some fashion haha. Yes, the cab fare did sound a little desperate I guess haha. I mean obviously she ain't broke if she is out drinking and eating lol.

Her: Sorry i'm with my friends and I think i'm drunk for that haha 1:42AM
Her: Where do you live 1:42AM
Me: haha I may be a bit tipsy myself! ***** XYZ road. It's by the mall, not far lol!
Her: **** XYZ road?? That doesn't seem like a road to me haha but i'm on XYZ rd. so it's pretty far.


After that last text, she was just playing coy by stating that you were "too far away." At that point, I probably would have just gone silent on her. It's one of those things where she realizes 20 minutes later that you're not going to chase her, and suddenly she texts you again with something like, "actually, my friends are gonna stop by that area for food. Do you still want to meet?"

I can't count the number of times a girl has tried to be coy with me just for me to stop responding and then have her come back and give me compliance when she realizes I'm not going to play along. Of course, sometimes the girl just isn't interested (like Drexel mentioned), and at least you've then saved yourself the trouble of looking a bit too needy by trying to convince her to come over, which will still give you a chance with her later (since she recognizes you're not the type to chase her).

This is interesting to know. I'll keep this in mind for next time. I'll try the "Silent treatment" out for next time if a girl is playing coy like that. Never directly thought of doing that but thanks for sharing that!

I think the main point of my post was that "did I handle this correct by inviting this girl over for a movie". And then obviously she didn't give me a straight answer but asked "where I live", which created some confusion because she seemed like she was on the fence in coming. However, the majority of texting after was pretty much pointless lol.

Remember, you were at the bars too. If you stop texting her, for all she knows, maybe you're about to go home with another girl and she's missing her chance!

That's a very good point!

Thanks for the response Franco!

Rdawg

 

[RDawg]

Since women are usually just responding to us, a woman who seems "on the fence" might even mean a lack of strong leadership on the guy's part.

True! I don't disagree with that at all. There are many factors that seem to be at play when a girl is "on the fence" and sometimes they may even be outside of a guy's control.

Rdawg