What cause girls to not comply?

[Winston]

I was walking in the streets with a friend when, on a pedestrian crossing, we crossed 2 girls walking in the other direction. I was under the impression that they were looking at me and talking about me between them. While still walking and listening to my friend, I turned my head to be sure of that, and they were still doing the same thing. Then a few seconds later I turned my head a third time and now they were on the other side of the street, after having crossed the pedestrian. They had stopped walking, and they were all turned towards me, smiling and talking.

My friend who had just noticed what was going on asked "Are they doing this for you?". I said "Yes" and I crossed the street to go talk to them.

I said "Hi" and some pretty basics stuff like "where are you from?". Without it coming from a choice on my part, it was the hottest of the 2 which answered me and started to talk with me. I think she was the leader of their groups and probably the one that was at the initiative of their behaviors towards me. The other one stood a few meters aside.

Then I asked her to guess my age and she refused "I don't do that". I said "comon, don't worry I won't take it badly if you make me older than I am". And she continued to refuse adamently to guess my age saying "oh no really I don't do that".

So I said "ok I am 35... Let me guess yours... I would said 32?..." blah blah blah

So she didn't comply to play this small game and it feels like the vibe went down because of that. Might not be a big deal, but it makes me wonder why.

This doesn't seem due to a lack of value, since she had given me a huge approach invitation we can assume that my value was not the problem. So I am wondering, in general, what cause a girl to not comply, besides lack of perceived value?

Another time I had had another type of this problem, where a girl asked for a relocation of a date a few hours before, forcing me to comply to her, instead of the reverse. And in this case I think my perceived value was good as well.

 

[Kaida]

Weird. I’ve had this happen to me before, albeit rarely.

The first example may just be the specific girl and how much she views basic compliance as being “too much investment”. The more likely reason is maybe your voice tone or facial expressions as you said it.

The example in the last paragraph needs more context. If her reason as to why she wanted to relocate was good (ex: “my car broke down”) then it may actually be a signal of high interest and compliance, since she still wanted the date to go on regardless.

If the reason was flimsy you may have some value or attainability work to do.

Maybe some others can chime in

 

[Winston]

The example in the last paragraph needs more context. If her reason as to why she wanted to relocate was good (ex: “my car broke down”) then it may actually be a signal of high interest and compliance, since she still wanted the date to go on regardless.

We meet at a social events, she was laughing a lot at my jokes and asked me many questions. I took advantage of a moment where she was isolated to took her insta. A few days after when I contacted her on insta to ask her out for a drink, she answered warmly refering to a joke we had the day we meet.

The day before the date, I sent her the meeting point with the hour (7pm) and she agreed telling me she would come after her work.

2 hours before the date, she sent me:
Would you like to come closer to my work tonight? I have my intern who let me down doing only half of what she had to do
We can go to Bar X instead, it's stylish and above all it suits me better ^_^

So I had no choice but to accept or cancel the date. I accepted and it went nowhere.

Regarding the first case, yeah it might be my voice tone and facial expressions as I think I was not relaxed and a bit nervous during the interaction.
But this seem like a big shift between "sending me signals from the other side of the street" and "not complying to a tiny ask" just because I was not perfectly relaxed. Might be that though.

 

[Chad Tyrone]

I was walking in the streets with a friend when, on a pedestrian crossing, we crossed 2 girls walking in the other direction. I was under the impression that they were looking at me and talking about me between them. While still walking and listening to my friend, I turned my head to be sure of that, and they were still doing the same thing. Then a few seconds later I turned my head a third time and now they were on the other side of the street, after having crossed the pedestrian. They had stopped walking, and they were all turned towards me, smiling and talking.

My friend who had just noticed what was going on asked "Are they doing this for you?". I said "Yes" and I crossed the street to go talk to them.

I said "Hi" and some pretty basics stuff like "where are you from?". Without it coming from a choice on my part, it was the hottest of the 2 which answered me and started to talk with me. I think she was the leader of their groups and probably the one that was at the initiative of their behaviors towards me. The other one stood a few meters aside.

Then I asked her to guess my age and she refused "I don't do that". I said "comon, don't worry I won't take it badly if you make me older than I am". And she continued to refuse adamently to guess my age saying "oh no really I don't do that".

So I said "ok I am 35... Let me guess yours... I would said 32?..." blah blah blah

So she didn't comply to play this small game and it feels like the vibe went down because of that. Might not be a big deal, but it makes me wonder why.

This doesn't seem due to a lack of value, since she had given me a huge approach invitation we can assume that my value was not the problem. So I am wondering, in general, what cause a girl to not comply, besides lack of perceived value?

Another time I had had another type of this problem, where a girl asked for a relocation of a date a few hours before, forcing me to comply to her, instead of the reverse. And in this case I think my perceived value was good as well.

I'm all for intriguing her and stuff but u it seems u rewarded bad behavior here.She refused to comply with your request but u went on and told her your age regardless.

Myself I could have switched to other topics,hook her in and maybe she could have brought up the question later or persist with her and say..."could be as easy as shooting a number out".Also u could get her investing by telling her she could try it three times.This makes her comply most of the time.


So compliance usually comes down to how u frame ur compliance requests and why you want her to comply in the first place.U want to start out with small compliance requests too... don't ask for too much at the beginning.Happens that some may comply to them but ur fundamentals need to be tight .

On to the date location change...u ought to be dating on your own terms.So in the end u could have rescheduled or do it on her terms but have her do something for you instead.... compliance swapping

For instance,"I could walk down there to (her workplace) ... seems it'll take an hour or so.But u'll be in charge of showing me around...I'm kinda new to the place" or having her grabbing the first round of drinks.

Lol that's what I could come up with for an example.But u could read on compliance swapping on the main site.Read it way back myself.

That's my take on your interaction(s)

~Chad Tyrone

 

[Conquistador]

It sounds like they didn’t actually want to go further then getting approached…most common reason for that sort of thing ime