What do you think about my viewpoint on cold approach?

[Anonymous]

What do I think about day game?

I think the overall concept of meeting women at day time is relevant because it proves self-confidence. The advantage of meeting women at day time is, they are more responsive and friendly compared to meeting them at night time at a bar or club but the downside of this concept is, it requires a lot of effort and time needed to eventually get a date from this kind of method. I suppose this is like taking a chance where the odds are definitely against you because their many variables that needs to be matched in order for a relationship to form from this kind of method. Also in order to approach random women on the street you must be in the right state of mood.

I learnt in order to become good with women. You don’t really have to go out and cold approach women every day or spend hours doing it because the only skill required is self-development which is basically improving your personality. Having a conversation with women is exactly the same as chatting to a friend. I think in order to progress further with women is you need to be confidence in yourself and be curious about the other person.

In this type of situation, you cannot be outcome depended on getting a girlfriend from cold approach because you are trying to form a relationship from basically nothing into something which normally doesn't happen this way. I learnt there are different ways to meet women but the most commons ways are through cold approach or social circle.

Social circle is basically a group of people who have something in common and the chances of meeting women through social circle have a higher rate of progressing further into a relationship because they already comfortable talking to you . I think the best way to meet women and make friend is to balance between meeting them via social circle and cold approach.

I believe you can meet them as you go above your daily life but you must take a leap of faith every time you get a chance to do so because every minute you live , you grow older .

 

[Marty]

Your final paragraph is very insightful.

But I disagree that you need to be in the right "state" or "mood" to run daytime street game. You need to form the right habits, which is a very different thing.

 

[PinotNoir]

I agree with Marty on the "mood" and on habits instead. Mood isn't necessary; it just helps you get out the door. And, after cold approaching women during the day, it has actually changed my mood from sad to happy before. Because instead of moping about in self-pity, I felt like I was actively changing my life and meeting some beautiful women. In fact, I suggest it as a remedy after a breakup.

I think social circle can be fine, and that's where the majority of my girlfriends arose in my past. As I've gotten older though, I've changed in what I want, and social circle doesn't provide that for me. I still may date a girl from social circle, but it's just not alluring to me anymore.

Still, I suggest dating girls from social circle and getting the personal experience. However, the cons are quite clear:

- All of your friends and her friends will know about what's going on in the relationship (limited privacy)
- She has to maintain her reputation; I've had girls pseudo-throw me under the bus before*
- You have a limited pool, instead of an endless stream
- Rejection and breaking up is harsher (as friends will know)
- Expectations are different; she's more likely to expect many dates (where you pay fully) before sex
- Related to sex, there's also more pressure/expectation for yourself to perform well (if you don't, she'll tell the group)
- It's harder to get them chasing you

You don't realize a lot of these until you have personal experience. And as you get more of that experience, the more you want to get away from it.

Pros include:

- Easier (less fear than cold approaching)
- Can become boyfriend/girlfriend faster (if that's what you desire)
- You already know a lot about her and her personality, as you're friends (lots of screening already taken care of)
- Because you're already friends (or had mutual friends that set you up based on personality), the date will at least be enjoyable with decent conversation

For me, the main benefits of going outside of the social circle are quality of women (both looks and personality) and being able to get her to chase me more easily. Of course, there will be lows lower than social circle, but it will also have highs that are much higher than social circle.


* One time I went on this date with a girl from social circle. Nice dinner at PF Changs, and I paid. At the end of the night, we hugged and kissed on the cheek, and she said that she couldn't wait for the 2nd date and had a terrific time. Of course, naively, I thought this was in the bag. I texted her the next day -- no response. I waited and texted/called that weekend -- no response. I gave her the benefit of the doubt. The next weekend I texted/called again -- no response. I got the hint and stopped texting/calling. No big deal, right? Well, I think she was worried that I would tell our mutual friends in the group. Therefore, I found out later that she had told them that I had been driving like a mad man.... What? It was only like a 10 min drive between her house and the restaurant. Completely fabricated. I drove at the speed limit, used my turn signals, etc. My close friends knew it was bullshit, thankfully, but then her friends (some of my mutual friends) looked at me as the "bad" guy. Anyway, just a small story about social circle dating.