What does a self-actualized woman look like?

[Zoro]

A self-actualized man I think we can agree looks something like this:

-successful in creating or building something of value
-has his needs met and then some
-driven by a strong purpose that feels fulfilling
-healthy in mind, body, spirit

So a man on a mission is in a way on the path to self-actualization. Cutting through life, his fears, his limitations, his circumstances, to achieve something.

So what does a feminine woman self-actualized look like? Specifically what do the kind of women we want to date look like when they are successful in life?

I'm not talking about a strong independent career woman here... lol. Unless maybe? I have my doubts though.

 

[KJ Francis]

Her child has a grandchild

*ducks feminist tomatoes*

 

[ulrich]

I would say:

- She got her body sculpted to a T (obviously exercise but some girls supplement that through surgery for things they can’t control like the nose shape or boob size… you decide if you are OK with it, but that’s a sign of ambition)

- She is socially skilled (knows how to interact with strangers and how to deal with social situations)

- She is studied in one or several fields (shows interest in cultivating herself)

- She can make good money (can be independent if needed)

That would do for a great partner if self-actualization is on the top of your priorities.

However, I think another option is to go for nurturing women with SOME of the above instead… it’s a personal preference.
I mean, I like succesful women… but I appreciate a balance between her wanting to succeed in her stuff and being a support to me.

Many self-actualized women may not be inclined to prioritize you at the same level that their goals.
So that’s the downside.

 

[Conquistador]

Specifically what do the kind of women we want to date look like when they are successful in life?

I think the starting point for a woman is to be “brave”. I don’t primarily mean physical courage obvs. Also, as with a man self-examination and self-awareness are key.

I'm not talking about a strong independent career woman here... lol. Unless maybe? I have my doubts though.

I think the end state really depends on the woman. Some women, like many men, are best served by going that route. At the other extreme you could have the type of woman who has completely unlocked her nurturing energy and has high self-awareness and a noticeable and highly positive aura.

 

[Zoro]

I would say:

- She got her body sculpted to a T (obviously exercise but some girls supplement that through surgery for things they can’t control like the nose shape or boob size… you decide if you are OK with it, but that’s a sign of ambition)

- She is socially skilled (knows how to interact with strangers and how to deal with social situations)

- She is studied in one or several fields (shows interest in cultivating herself)

- She can make good money (can be independent if needed)

That would do for a great partner if self-actualization is on the top of your priorities.

However, I think another option is to go for nurturing women with SOME of the above instead… it’s a personal preference.
I mean, I like succesful women… but I appreciate a balance between her wanting to succeed in her stuff and being a support to me.

Many self-actualized women may not be inclined to prioritize you at the same level that their goals.
So that’s the downside.

These make sense to me.

But the core of my question is what is the feminine spirit looking for in life?

The masculine spirit wants to conquer the realm around him.

But what of the feminine? What brings he fulfillment?

My own thoughts are that you never see the truly happy fulfilled women, because they are not in the spotlight.

They have a family that they devote themselves to, a strong man who makes her feel like a woman, and her intuitive and lovely nature supports the man in his mission, one that she personally agrees with but is not really engaged in other than being excited for and by her man which energized him in his mission.

Is that just my macho male brain or is that the raw truth?

I personally think the value that femininity brings to the world is not in what it accomplishes, but in what it inspires and also holds to a standard. She is lovely but only if you man up and earn her love and respect.

 

[StrayDog]

She met me

 

[Conquistador]

She met me

I think that’s actually an important point.
Having a partner who unlocks something in them is often key for women.
With men it’s typically a different dynamic, but many great men attained their goals through the help of their woman.

 

[Zoro]

By the way, I subscribe to the view that within each sex there is a dot of the other polarity. And so you can certainly find feminine women who can wield the masculine drives to success without diminishing her feminine spirit (and a man can become intuitive to his feminine instincts without diminishing his masculinity). In fact I think that for genuine self-actualization an integrating of the polarities must occur.

However, I am interested in separating out the feminine drives/needs for fulfillment for my question. Maybe it's impossible to separate them to answer the question, I'm not sure.

 

[Zoro]

I think that’s actually an important point.
Having a partner who unlocks something in them is often key for women.
With men it’s typically a different dynamic, but many great men attained their goals through the help of their woman.

At different times in a few of my relationships I have had moments where the quote "behind every great man is a great woman" made sense to me.

At those moments it felt like having a woman who's love was conditional, yet I was stepping up to be worthy of her beauty and thus she becomes my muse. She knows me and my goals and thus like a good co-pilot or sidekick, steers me there if she senses I am not stepping up. Often in ways that I do not see, in ways that seem uniquely feminine. She has standards for me that I agree with in my own heart, just like I have standards for her.

 

[Conquistador]

Now it is very possible that what is missing from the equation is orgasms. I know for a fact I give girls pep in their step.

One does wonder…

 

[ulrich]

But what of the feminine? What brings he fulfillment?

My own thoughts are that you never see the truly happy fulfilled women, because they are not in the spotlight.

Then, the answer is not self-actualization.

Self-actualization is nice to have in a woman, but it is really a male ideal.
I don’t think it clashes with femininity per se but it is certainly not “feminine true nature”.

Women feel most fulfilled when they are devout and bring value to their inner circles (husband, family, close friends) and are appreciated in return.

Women do not feel a strong need for conquest or looking outside as men do.

While men look for success by conquering themselves and the exterior, women prefer to maintain the peace and the health of their closed ones.

Women define themselves by their relationships way more than men do.
Men define themselves by their exploits way more than women do.