What is A High-Value Man?

[Oskar]

Countless times I have encountered the phrase "high-value man" here on GC, and here's my best attempt to understand what is typically meant, followed by some of the implications therefrom:

On Girls Chase, when the writers talk about "high-value", they are talking about men being good allies, in particular good allies to women -- i.e., mates. There are recognized to be three categories of mates on GC: lovers, providers, and friends. Each of these categories denote a primary focus on providing oftentimes mutually exclusive attributes that are considered valuable to allies.

Lovers are providers of viable offspring and primal sexual energy -- so they get laid the most. Yet because of their higher risk creative strategies (reproductive and typically otherwise) they tend to not be ideal for fatherhood.

Providers provide economic support in exchange for a more stable long-term relationship. This is the primary historically conditioned optimal strategy for men since the agricultural revolution. The problem with them is that they are not very emotionally stimulating in the short term, so the freedom of whim -- as opposed to will -- that recent sexual liberation movements in the West have actualized are dramatically reducing the effectiveness of this strategy. However, in the end, it is safer for all involved, and more often will lead to long term stable growth than the more often erratic growth tendencies of lovers. Less chance for huge wins, but also less risk for huge losses. If you have a multi-generational, family-based orientation, this will lead to steady economic growth and general opportunities and well-being for future generations. However, for men and women in the West, this strategy has fallen out of style and has become increasingly incompatible with typical pathologies of love.

Friends typically provide neither economic support nor do they stimulate sexually, however, they do provide a safe environment for horizontal growth (learning about the world, rules, experimentation, jockeying for status/ladder climbing, etc). Friends provide a framework of social support for people and is the foundation for creations (like other more vital relationships) to grow from. Without friends, societies would become rigid and be less effective at surviving change. People cannot be "on" all the time, so friends provide both an edifying and a fall-back role. For example, Wwmen can, if they fail to marry an ideal lover or provider when they are young, marry one of their friends, as their market value inevitably decreases after the age of 30 or so while the man's is much more inclined to increase.

Many would say the primary purpose of relationships is reproduction. However, I'd say that that this is a bit reductionist. Instead, I believe the purpose of relationships is creation in general. It's the dance; the fusion then separation of energies, not just for the purpose of bearing children (though that is a fundamental necessity), but for perpetuating existence as a whole. "We are!" might make a good mantra here.

If this is true, then when we say that high-value men are men who makes great mates, we are actually implying an unrealistically narrow scope. Instead, we could say that high-value men are men who make great allies, and not just allies to other people, but allies to existence -- to the continuation of life/"is-ness".

This is I think roughly the conclusion Chase reaches, though perhaps through slightly different premises, when he concluded that a truly high-value man unifies and transcends (or at least mindfully varies between) these categories. A high-value man is a man possessed with characteristics of all of them -- the king, or Kan-ning; Ableman. The man who "can". Or more, he doesn't just posses the characteristics, he is them.

The man who truly "can" must also be the man who "does", as the nature of self (fortunately or unfortunately) is the relationship between apparently external and internal stimuli and events. A cause with variant potential to an effect, which then becomes a cause with variant potential, and so on and so forth. A true high-value man is both internally and externally high-value, because "he" is the relationship of these two realities: the psychological and the physiological. Can+Do=Be. That means that a high-value man is a social creature and is typically a generalist. And if he is an effective generalist we call him a renaissance man, if he is not, we condone him a jack of all trades, or worse, a mere conformist/poser. But perhaps the most one can really say about such a man is that he is a player, in the term's broadest sense.

-Oskar

 

[Drck]

Here is how I understand value.

When you go to the store and want to purchase shoes, those shoes you like may have low or high value for you depending what you like and can afford. Most of us probably go for some compromise between price, comfort and likeness. At the same time, most likely you don't care about value of watches, suitcases or iPad because you are not pursuing those goods at the moment. They don’t have much value to you at that particular time, no matter what are they being sold for, but it doesn’t mean that you won’t be seeking to get those in the future.

If she is looking for a provider, that particular guy can have high or low value as a provider. It is understandable that she seeks the highest value in her long term mate while remaining as comfortable as she can get. She may not necessary care about lovers or friends at that time, meaning that she will rather go out with Beta male while rejecting amazing hot seducer.

If she is looking for fun, or she sees a man that she can have great fun with her, she will seek lover. Some guy who she can have relatively short lasting but intensive fun. This guy then either disappears or she will want to mold him into a Beta male through relationship. Lovers also have high and low value. If he is low value, she sleeps with him and then breaks it up. If he is high value, she will want to keep him around (as a lover) for long time.

Of course this world is not always black and white, she can be pursuing provider and at the same time keeping in contact with lover. Most of the time she will also want to have bunch of guys either in orbit or as a friends, within the reach. They don't have much value to her but they are within the reach should she change her mind. Guys are not either lovers or providers or friends, there can also exist some mixture.

If you are a quality guy with high value she will want to keep you around. Not just for a date or two but for months, even years. She may not want to get married to you because she excluded you as a provider, but she still wants you to be around because she sees great value in you.

Here is where GC is wrong. The common knowledge here is that you have to get her (sleep with her) within 1-3 dates or she is gone because her attraction will drop. She will either reject you, shift you into a friend zone or you become an orbit. It doesn't have to necessary be that way because it is all relative. At the time you met her she may not have the right mind set (e.g. not seeking lover), and you as a lover won't change it within 1-3 dates. It might take weeks, even months, but if the attraction is there it is there. I know women that where highly attracted but rejected me, at first. They got together with what I call Beta male, good provider. The reason is, they were seeking providers at that time, looking to get married; their mind set was to settle down for long term. They rejected me as a provider, however, they contacted me even while freshly engaged, just before getting married and while they were "in love" - just to make sure I stick around. If I say that I was contacted even years later, many guys wouldn't believe it. Many guys wouldn’t believe that she is seeking a lover - while she is in love and getting married to her soul mate. You don’t believe it until you experience it.

In comparison, she thinks as a shopper. It is as if she sees new iPad while shopping for shoes; she doesn't want to necessary purchase it today but she knows that eventually she will want to get it too, when the right time comes. Amazing stuff.

Back to the Value. A man can – and should – increase his value. As a Lover, you want to be more attractive and exciting, more mysterious, less emotional, less clingy and less needy. You want to be more sexually oriented, e.g. moving fast and pushing for sex. She might have a long term BF/provider/husband, and she needs to know that you are not a treat to her relationship. As a lover you don’t necessary have to care about her and her life, you may not care at all. She may not even like you as a person but she still can have great sex and intimacy with you. You should be leading her to the bed. She should feel free, you should never judge her on anything, she should be always feeling great around you. You come and go, no strings attached, it is just between you and her, no one else knows.

As a provider, you might want to work on little bit different values. you want to be more reliable, more understanding, and emotionally stable. You listen to her and you care about her. You want to have strong back bone, always stand behind what you believe in. You should not cave in to her emotions, never, and always stand strong like a pillar. You should be leading in life. You should tell her and make it clear what is right and wrong (according to you). She should know that she needs to adjust herself to you, and if it means that you have to occasionally criticize her and judge her, do it. She must feel that she is “below” you, meaning that you are the one who is in charge of the family, that you are the one who is making important decisions. Sometimes you may have to put her down (emotionally) and other times get her high. This way you eliminate the boredom. You should always be in charge because once she loses respect for you she will either dump you or cheat on you. And you should, of course, provide.

As a man, in general, you can never go wrong when you increase your fundamentals, attractiveness, boldness, manliness, and strong desire for sex. You can always use these no matter whether you are lover, provider or just a friend...

 

[maximus6004]

I agree with drck. However id like to dive deeper into it. As, everything drck has said I can relate too. Drck chase even says back in the day there was nothing certain woman can do to make him sleep with them. I had this experience last night with a fa that is in a shitty place emotionally in her life. She wanted to get wasted and have sex and I told her no. She thought it was a crack at her looks or whatever but I simply said, listen you need a friend more than you need a lover. Sex complicates things. Especially with you, I care about you, but, im not sleeping with you. I've wanted to sleep with you for awhile but you need at least one guy friend who isnt trying to get into your pants. I can get sex from other woman,but im not going to have sex with you. Ill spend the night with you, lay with you and make you feel special by spending time with you and listening to you. Sex, no, you will have to find someone else to do it. Which leads to my next point. Dominance.

She was trying to get in her car and drive away, she wanted more liquor and food, well she was going to drive by herself, I couldnt allow that as she was wasted but she wanted me to get in the passenger seat. I sat on the curb got on my.phone and just started having a conversation. She even pulled away and drove a few feet to try and get me to cave. This woman is super confident, and always gets her way. I think this is why she is so messed up, because no guys these days have the courage to stand up to her shit tests, thanks to girls chase I can. Thats another story however, how and why she acts the way she does. About 45minutes into the interaction, she finally gets in the passenger seat and we go for a drive. She never let anyone drive her car before. I simply told her, im here I care, but if you dont get in the passenger seat and decide to do this alone, well thats your fault. These are my terms for going with you. You could see her face light up as I drove her car she made comments such as,

Her"I cant stop thinking about you cumming inside of me"
"You are so handsome"

And so on, but the first one was crazy. A high value man in my opinion, is someone who can do everything. Like drck said, a mixture needs to be involved. We are not such simple beings or organisms and in my time approqching woman its like playing a video game online, the circumstances are always changing. Just as you adapt to their game, well their game changes so you have to adjust to it. Saying less is more though, and holds off and keeps you in a higher position of power always. On girls chase I think that our biological beings exist as they say if we had nothing, and sometimes we still relate back to them. Without a purpose in life we will seek other things to make us happy. Whether it be alcohol, food, or love.

My best friend who I watched in my beginning stages of approaching woman five years ago when I first discovered this site, taught me a lot about the game and as I see articles here I get those aha moments to what he was doing naturally. He met this woman, that he is with today having two kids with at the bar. She could out drink both of us at the time. Well when he started getting serious with her he started saying this is what I want can you give it to me? Excitedly she said yes and well they started their relationship. She was a hard one to break which included him tossing her clothes out into the sbow some nights cops getting called, she would not back down. She fought him back. He finally broke her and she is domesticated if you can say sich a thing and she does not even think about cheating but he does. He won the battle. This is where chase talks about the dominance, the person in.love is the one with the least amount of status. Well its her and shes not as bad as she used to be but you can see her always challenging his dominance like the raptor.in jurassic parl touching the electric fence looking for weak spots. He is a lover and a provider which I think is more rare than just lovers in general. He, when she is down provides enough validation, and lets her in a little bit to see his softer side. While when she is angry he stands his ground and puts her in her place. A high value man puts her through the emotions, while also providing for her and his family. He is always there for his friends. I've gotten into trouble a couple times where he has had to back me.up in my younger years when we almost had huge brawls, to the point where he had friends doing stupid shit and he would say, fuck you dumbass do stupid shit learn from it on your own. Almost like a child touching a hot stove, you wont do that again now will you?

The woman, I was with last night and twlling yiu about is so in love with me. She says it over and over. However, it comes to a point where knowing what you want comes into place. If you want a family well then you have to screen. At some point in the game its just a routine and a thrill to get woman to submit. It gets old and at the same time there is always someone out there better. Chase talked about this in a point where most of the puas would just settle down and get married to a good woman. It all depends on what you want. Eventually a man will seek bigger and better challenges and areas to conquer in this life. As long as he can be a high value man and provide for her needs, he shouldnt lose her or have her stray. My buddies girl wont talk to other guys she is afraid of losing him she is busy doing what she can to keep him happy. Ive seen posts on facebook where she says I made this for dinner and he goes eww. So they argue a few seconds and she ends up changing it to what he wants. He challenges her in ways, as well she does the same back. To be a high value man in my opinion, is to know what he wants, to have a mission wgile questioning the world around him. To support the people around him as a leader would do. He draws a big enough circle to let everyone around him in.

 

[Ross]

Oskar,

A high-value man is one who can provide a lot - be it socially, sexually, emotionally, etc. For example, he may offer a warm smile to women, providing value by possessing and spreading an uplifting mood. Also, he may have high sexual energy and know how to both turn women on and please him. Or he may be well-respected within a group and provide social status to all he graces with his presence. Or he may be rich and spend his money on his friends - the list really goes on and on.

A true high-value man is both internally and externally high-value, because "he" is the relationship of these two realities: the psychological and the physiological

Yes, this often is the case of high-value men because his experiences exist within himself, which only further compound with his external actions. The two are almost always congruent, which is why people can often tell if a man is high value just by observing him.