What should I do....? Just joined Girl Chase

[Anonymous]

Hey EVeryone,

Just joined and wanted to say I switched over from PUA Forums. I read Chases first article and was blown away!!! I'm pretty good at pickup, but I struggle when I start "liking" a girl. Anyways heres my post, and please let me know how to proceed.I'll make it as short as possible... FRANCO, all your advice is "AMAZING", I would love your help too!!

I met this girl in my acting class 8 months ago. I was "top dawg" in class when she joined. ......blahblah blah. We hung out in a group after class a couple times. After that I went to New York for a month and after I came back after 3 weeks we went out to a mutual friends party. I brought her back home. aI gave her a shirt and we jumped in bed. she was kinda drunk, I was wasted. I started fingering her , she was instantly soaking and I escalated with no problem. The PROBLEM was, the only FUCKING problem was that I had my buddy sleeping 5 feet away from us in my tiny apt. I felt uncomfortable as a man. I love sex, but I'm not into having (or thinking that) someone is watching me. especially a dude. Anyways I made a little rude/sarcastic remark the morning after. She didn't like it . Long story short, she did the whole auto-reject thing. and canceled a couple times on me. I got moved into a HIGHER acting class(huge dhv) and stopped seeing her. I froze her out for a month and she obviously txts me. BUt its all surface stuff. I always use CHASES method of only txting to meet up. MAybe Im doing this too much, and being to unavailable ?? we've only hung out before her class since then for happy hour, so logistics suck in that matter and I'm not meeting up there anymore.

Everytime I set up a meet up, I say whats ur schedule like and give her two options. She always says maybe depending on her son, or work etc.. or else she says she can meet before class. My intuition is that she doesn't want to meet up where things can escalate?? also my intuition is she is into me but may (does) see other guys. And thats fine with me. I see other girls, but I want to FUCK this one. I think I lost my "I just wanna fuck frame" and have been using "I want a relationship frame"....HOw do I get out of this?

cliff notes on me: I don't chase. I may be too unavailable most of the time and that makes her question whether I like her or not. When I freeze out, I usually do it for 3 weeks , not a couple of days. .... My friend who's a natural tells me that I have to show more interest. HE may be right. Everytime I txt her its 'hey tiffany(or a nickname), how'd the weekend that you, lets grab a drink @so and so this week. whats you schedule like?................ Thats basically it. She's NEVER not responded or Flaked last minute. BUt I feel like Im falling into her "other guy" in case the dude she is fucking turns out to be a loser. TRust me, if I meet up Im gonna escalate, and create sexual tension and all that good stuff.... She has a blast with me.

SO I guess my question is, is how should I proceed. I know I know go get more girls, thats a given. But how do I proceed with her? How should I text her? Am I not txting her enough?? I have this Friday off and I want to invite her out for food, and a walk somewhere. How should I do it?? I always FEAR coming off like I'm chasing. I play it too cool all the time and need to change that, but how do I do it right???...... I feel like just txting her: " hey Tiffany, I wanna take you out friday are you free." I like the directness of it, but not sure if I have that frame going with her. How should I do it.'

 

[Anonymous]

Thank you guys so much for all your help..... And sorry for the length of it. ALso I suck at writing, it never comes onto the page the way I see it in my head haha...

CHeers guys,

Inter

 

[Chase]

Hey Inter,

Welcome to the boards. Sticky situation you've got here. Thoughts:

I started fingering her , she was instantly soaking and I escalated with no problem. The PROBLEM was, the only FUCKING problem was that I had my buddy sleeping 5 feet away from us in my tiny apt. I felt uncomfortable as a man. I love sex, but I'm not into having (or thinking that) someone is watching me. especially a dude. Anyways I made a little rude/sarcastic remark the morning after. She didn't like it . Long story short, she did the whole auto-reject thing. and canceled a couple times on me.

Sounds like you did not have sex, correct? The problem here is it's a failed mating attempt / failed escalation... typically speaking, when you're on the cusp of sex, and then it does not happen, no matter the reason, a woman's respect for you plummets like nothing you'd ever believe. It's the surest way to get seen as a guy she really dislikes.

It's a very, very, incredibly, unbelievably difficult situation to turn around much of the time, unless you were:

• Incredibly chill
• Always in control
• She left still REALLY wanting to sleep with you and there were forces outside your control that tore you apart

If the reasons or anything else, you get a massive respect/attraction hit that probably nukes your odds of being with her.

For this reason, I strongly suggest you adopt a policy of once you're escalating, do not quit until you achieve intercourse, or until you decide and accept that you will NOT sleep with this girl. This may mean having to overcome situations in which you're uncomfortable... you might have to have sex in front of other people, for instance (I don't particularly enjoy this either, but I've had to do it a number of times because that was the situation and if I didn't do it, the girl'd almost certainly be permanently lost). If you can't do that, then you need to refrain from escalating her to that point (and, ideally, pursuing her at all / gaming her much at all until you have logistics sorted, so as not to open any escalation windows that are going to come violently crashing down later), or you need to accept that she'll probably be lost to you.

The most consistent solution I've found to a failed mating attempt is the one I presented in this article:

3 Second Date Strategies to Make Her Flirt and Swoon

At this point, I'd say that's probably your best shot at turning things around here - they're pretty far gone, and you need something dramatic to happen.

Otherwise though, chalk it up as a lesson learned - and just don't make the same mistake with the next girl!

Chase