What to do about falling for girls to easily (and seroiusly)

[throwaway890]

I've not had issues with women most of my life, though I am learning that I have so much room for improvement since discovering resources like GC. One consistent thing though is that I am pretty crap at pursuing. I tend to just sort of "hang around" and connect with girls I like, then they either seduce me or they don't.

Obviously what this means is that I don't really "pick" girls I get with, and I've noticed is that as soon as I get physical with a girl, if she wants something from me I will transform into whatever her expectations of me are, and I do it willingly and even excitedly. Basically without thinking "is this the kind of girl I really want to be with?", I will just become REALLY into the girl.

I've been "courting" a girl I have an amazing intellectual and emotional connection with and it seems to be going alright. Then I had sex with another girl first day I met her (very fun, get along well, amazing body and sex, ) and I already feel like I love this new girl more than the other one. But this is confusing as I don't have any REASON to. I am perfectly aware that I am being totally illogical, and that it would be better just to keep the strong emotions for this new girl out of it. What happens though is that I see how much she likes me and then take great pleasure in essentially showing her the love that I know will make her really happy, and I BECOME that person.

Does anyone else relate? How do you keep from falling quickly and seriously for girls?

 

[Fuck This]

By having a passion in your life that eclipses the feelings for that particular girl.

Work, Hobbies, School, Religion, Family...We all have priorities. Where does a relationship with a woman rank?

Assign attention based on priority and things will fall into place.

 

[Michal]

Hello throwaway,

The reason you feel more in love with the girl you have that emotional and intellectual connection with is because, I assume, you do not have this with that many girls. While the other girl might be super sexy and all, you subconsciously want the connection more. Maybe you would like to will yourself to disregard feelings for girls you have not slept with yet but just because that is the optimal place for men to be (at least by GC standards), it does not mean you should fight it if it happens.

But I see you might be more concerned with the "I change to fit the girl's expectations". I had similar issue with the first girl I was with and the reason was that I still had my "follower mindset" deeply ingrained in me. And also because she was the first girl who wanted me so subconsciously I wanted to keep her around.

I would recommend finding more girls you have that amazing connection like this with (I know, easier said than done), because it will dial down the "specialness factor".

Michal

 

[throwaway890]

Hello throwaway,

The reason you feel more in love with the girl you have that emotional and intellectual connection with is because, I assume, you do not have this with that many girls. While the other girl might be super sexy and all, you subconsciously want the connection more. Maybe you would like to will yourself to disregard feelings for girls you have not slept with yet but just because that is the optimal place for men to be (at least by GC standards), it does not mean you should fight it if it happens.

But I see you might be more concerned with the "I change to fit the girl's expectations". I had similar issue with the first girl I was with and the reason was that I still had my "follower mindset" deeply ingrained in me. And also because she was the first girl who wanted me so subconsciously I wanted to keep her around.

I would recommend finding more girls you have that amazing connection like this with (I know, easier said than done), because it will dial down the "specialness factor".

Michal

I am sorry for my slow response but somehow I missed this. Thank you so much for your advice. It completely resonates with me and I am actively working on it and I can see that exactly what you describe is the way to improve this in myself. Thanks!