What to do if she wants more?

[Hue]

I've been seeing this girl for a few weeks. We went on a date, next week we fucked, and last night we fucked. The most recent time we had sex four times over the course of a few hours, and she was very satisfied by the end. I've tried to keep things mostly sexual with her (I tapped on romance's door when trying to build connection pre-sex. Need to abandon that practice asap), and remain nothing more than fuck buddies. Simply put, I don't find her a high-caliber girl, just a sexy one. She's hot, not slutty, good in bed, but her personality is just boring to me.

Quick History Lesson: strangely enough, we met in preschool (where my relatives have told me we were tied by the hip), happened to stumble into each other years later with no understanding of our past friendship, and eventually her parents remembered my name and we text on and off for like 3 years. Time goes by, I dm her on facebook, and here we are. I think this might whirl up romantic emotions of fate and all that jazz (which like I said, I tried to tap into a few times to build connection before sex).

As a preface, I think that I'm afraid of attachment to some degree. There's been a few instances of girls being way more into me than I was into them, and I hate being in that position. Even if feelings are somewhat mutual it makes me uncomfortable.

Today she texted me this:

Her: "Thanks for another good night. I ended up oversleeping and missing my first 3 classes lol but it was worth it"
Me: "That's what happens after a night of hard work (; always worth it though"

hours later...
Her: "Let me know if you'd ever like to do something other than have sex for a couple hours haha. Not that I'm complaining because I thoroughly enjoy all of it but I'd like to do something with you sometime lol. Or just let me know if that's not at all what you want. I just like you as a person and enjoy talking to you"

I saw this as a yellow flag at first.. not a huge deal, I'll just find a way to say I'm not looking for anything more than an open relationship, and if she's not down... oh well. She even said just let her know if that's not what I want.

I didn't respond, and about 30 minutes later she facebook dm's me an attachment of one of those "send this to your crush things". It's a video of a kid singing "hey! I think you're really cool! maybe we can hang out or something...".
I'm cringing.

I sent her back this over facebook, still not responding to her phone text: "lol nice, very snazzy. your 'crush', hmm?", but I'm indecisive on what text her back.

Don't want to hurt her feelings, still want to have sex, don't want to lead her on.
I'm being too reactive to this?
Dunno, maybe back off on sex with her for a bit.
Advice appreciated.

 

[Marcellus]

Hueman,

I'd probably just tell the truth man, wouldn't wanna lie and potentially break her heart would you? You know, unless your into that sort of thing.

Marcellus

 

[Hue]

Thanks Marcellus.

Honesty is definitely the best policy in situations like this. I'm definitely not into that sort of thing- sounds pretty dark.

I'd be lying if I were to say I haven't lead girls on just to fuck them before. It's something I don't wish to continue doing and it's pathological, but deliberately breaking someone's heart is just fucked up.

Ultimately, choosing deception to get sex is giving into what one wants, or thinks they want, over what one needs, at least how I see it.

Yesterday I texted her this:

Me: "Hey *girl I shouldn't lead on*, haven't we already kinda been doing that? I mean we've been hanging out every time we've had sex. I don't see anything wrong with that, do you?
Her: "You're right. Sorry I'm just an adventurer and like to go do tings with people lol."
Me: "Ik that, you like to go parooz around places and explore, which is cool. I'm just more adventurous indoors than out haha (;".

I think these texts show I'm sexual, and that I don't really want to go beyond what we've been doing. And I do think her exploratory interests are cool, just not to my personal interest of investment.

Yet, I don't know... as I was retyping it feels deceptive as to where the message is coming from (why I'm talking to her), which isnothing more than a desire for sex.
I think I'm going to pull back from her a bit before reengaging, just to reflect a bit.

 

[Marcellus]

Hueman,

I wouldn't say its deceptive at all, I mean it is your life. So if you only want her as a fuckbuddy and if you kinda started to cave in to her demands of doing more together than that would just be really weak. You'd be doing something that you don't want to do and that's no way a man should behave.

I have like no relationship experience but I think there always comes a point where the girl starts to question where this is headed. I mean she can't just be in a fuckbuddy relationship for the rest of her life. You know what I mean? Anyways it's good experience for ya.

P.S- Blackdragon is an expert on open relationships, upgrading girls, fuckbuddies etcc. So check his website out and you'll find out heaps of new information that will be beneficial in the long run.

Marcellus

 

[Hue]

I guess what I'm getting at is, at end of the day, I don't give the amount of fucks she thinks I give about her or her interests. Because it's not a clear understanding, it bothers me to a certain degree.

And I suppose this is just part of playing the game, so I'm not gonna let this keep me up at night.

Thanks, I checked out Blackdragon, definitely good insight on open relationships. If you're familiar with his terminology, this girl wants a MLTR, where as I just want a FB. So long as she understands this going forward, I'm not hurting anyone.

Keep it real

Hueman