Long-Term  What to do when she has a Narcissistic Mother

Julian Rose

Rookie
Rookie
Joined
Jul 6, 2020
Messages
5
Hey,

- Mom talks good about her daughter(my girlfriend) to others, but shames and emotionally/physically abuses her in private
- Mom lives through her daughter by controlling her daughter as much as she can
- The mom is a supermom in a lot of people's eyes
- Mom is a hypocrite and contradicts what she says
- Mom hates when people talk back at her even if she's wrong

This is what you will find If you search Narcissistic mom on Google.

And this is exactly what I'm dealing with.

My girlfriend is smart, beautiful, loyal, and has goals. She's a model that has a great body and wants to be a doctor. We are both 21, and we are about to finish college, btw. And we've been together for about 3 years now.

But her mom has all traits of a narcissistic mom.

Here are the 3 things that piss me off the most

1. She mentally and physically abuses my girlfriend
2. But no one, especially me, can't talk back at her, or else she will do more horrible shit to my girlfriend. She literally told me that.
3. She promised my girlfriend that she won't bother her when she's studying for school (we were all back home since the Rona). But throughout the semester, she literally bothered her so much and made so many side comments. I'm surprised she had great grades even if her mom was constantly badgering her. Although because of her mom, she got a really low score on her MCAT.

Even though she has this side to her

She also has such a good heart which makes me so fucking confused.

She treats me like her own son and makes me feel more at home than being at my own home. She has taken the responsibilty of taking care of two kids because their parents are so irresponsible and they shouldn't have been parents in the first place.

So I'm wondering what to do to shut that down?

In my POV, I see no other way except either breaking up with my girlfriend or just dealing with it.

That's why I'm asking here.

Here's some background on my girlfriend and her mom.

Her mom - Raised in an abusive and poor house. Dad was a drunk. Mom physically and emotionally abused her. Her mom sold her to a drug lord in California because the guy had a lot of money. The mom was hot back then. This guy supposedly taught her a lot of stuff about manipulation and the business he was in. The guy also mistreated her. She had a son and mistreated him. The son doesn't even talk to her anymore. Then she had my girlfriend and escaped with her to the other side of the U.S. The guy had the FBI on her and so the mom went to jail for a couple of years and the daughter went to Juvy for a bit(for no reason at all). The mom has told me many times that she was born to be miserable. Oh, she blames her fatness on my girlfriend too.

Girlfriend - she was born premature. She was supposed to die but lived. This caused many health complications. She had cancer but beat that when she was a child. Doctors don't really know how long she has to live now. She's kinda losing hope now. Imagine how that feels.

So again, what do I do?

P.S. I love the articles and the direction the company is headed. I've been a long time reader. Good shit, Chase.

P.P.S. Also, I couldn't find the child boards for this board, so my bad.
 
Last edited:

fog

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
1,533
Location
peru
you are in a tough situation.

people who are exposed to narcs long term develop something similar to PTSD. the manipulation and abuse is that bad.

narcs live to generate any sort of emotional reaction from people. they do this to avoid bathing in the rotting swamp that is their psyche.

they will probe you to find out what triggers the biggest reaction from you, and then consistently manipulate you to get that sweet, sweet reaction from you.

2 easy ways to handle the narc:

1. Simply don't react to their antics. Known as the grey rock method.
2. Walk out of their life.

There are other ways to handle them too. But it involves a lot of psychological warfare.

I think you need to talk to some professionals about this. And if there's physical abuse, I would absolutely consider calling the cops..
 

trashKENNUT

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
6,553

Bless. Hopefully your girlfriend is not infected, cluster b or anything.

But in Asia, idiocy is normal. :)

z@c+
 

PalmaSailor

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Nov 24, 2019
Messages
272
Location
London
You’re too young for this shit, and it will infect your life.
Clear out and find a simpler relationship with a woman from a more balanced home.
This will backfire if you stay in
 
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