FR What to text?

[Peter_S]

Hey guys,

first of all, thanks for taking the time to read this. I'm really happy for every reply as I don't know how to solve this problem

So I met this girl in driving school, we talked a bit (just smalltalk), I got her number and we went on a date (around 3 weeks ago).
The date was really awesome and after an hour sitting in a coffee shop and talking about everything, I thought the date would have come to an end, but on the way back home she asked me, whether I wanted to go into a park, what we did. There we talked about one more hour and it was really nice.

I also just want to give you my impression of her, as it may help to understand the whole thing:
- She is still in school (finished next year)
- She's a bit cautious and also a quite quiet person
- Maybe she's a bit shy, not sure about this

4 days after that date she would leave to go on vacation, so I tried everyday to meet her again (she always had no time), what was too needy I guess. So I apologized and just told her, that I really enjoyed the date and wanted to see her again.
In the time she was gone we texted about once or twice a week, but I always had to initiate our conversations.
So she was gone for about 2 weeks and after that she had 2 days in our hometown, until she had to leave again because of some kind of learning vacation in France. As it were only 2 days I asked her, if she wanted to meet In these 2 days. She answered, that she would have to sort and pack her baggage for that Learning vacation, but she would tell me if she had time. One day before departure I asked her and she told me, that she still had to clean her home and it would be too late to meet.

This was 1 and half week ago, Since then we've written about 2 times (again I initiated the conversations). The problem now is, that both of these conversations looked like I would ask a question and she answered it (mostly 3-4 questions), then I ended them because it became some kind of awkward. But I also have to mention, that her answers were always kind (with emojis (I also use them often )).
Also important: After one of these short conversations I told her something like "I' wanna be honest, I really like you and as you have probably already mentioned I'm not good at texting but I hope we can meet again, when your back" because I had no idea how to go on like this (that's also why I'm here). Her answer was a bit strange....she said, that she had to save data and that it's no problem. I know this was probably a bad idea, but I really had no idea how to go on. :/

Now the question:

As I've read in some of the articles on the site, that questioning too much means that I try to force rapport. So I shouldn't ask that much, but I also can't ask her for a date since she isn't in town. I just try to survive the 4 weeks until she's back by trying to talk to her once or twice a week to be in her mind, but how,if I cant ask her questions and ask her for a date?

Also....how can I get her to ask me thinks or even start a conversation?

I hope you guys can help me and thanks for every single reply

 

[Parkour]

Seems like everything since the date was one-sided. Even letting her take the lead in the date might have been questionable if you weren't able to frame it as a way that is progressing things along romantically.
The time and patience that you racked up aren't consistent with the law of least effort, so right now your only options are persistence (you may get blocked) or to let everything reset by backing off until your paths cross again or she reaches out.
I think it would've good to redirect your energy another girls/dates to build an abundance mentality because it comes across the opposite right now

 

[Seppuku]

Hello Peter,

First, welcome to these boards. Your post reminds me too well of how I was dealing with women in my early twenties. How I wish I knew, back then, what I know today! I hope that I manage to communicate some useful experience to you in my comments below, and sorry in advance if it sounds a little harsh.

Cheers man!

I'm really happy for every reply as I don't know how to solve this problem

Seduction is about displaying the right behavior, that prevents these problems in the first place! Better to prevent than to cure. Fortunately for you, you stumbled on Girls Chase which is the best resource to learn this right behavior.

I thought the date would have come to an end, but on the way back home she asked me, whether I wanted to go into a park, what we did.

You went on a date without a clear plan for the date, beyond the one hour coffee shop thing. You should have a very clear idea of what's next. An experienced seducer already has the complete plan - from first meet to bed - in his mind, before the date starts.

Second, she was the one leading the interaction once you left the coffee shop. You want to be the one in full control. She doesn't want to be in control, she wants you to be. You're the man, you must lead.

Third, you didn't make things happen. She liked you a lot, but the date ended and nothing happened. For a girl, the sweet chat is good for bringing emotional connection, but once she feels connected, she needs more.

so I tried everyday to meet her again (she always had no time), what was too needy I guess.

You're chase-y, and needy. Add this to the fact that you didn't make things happen. You're putting her off. The man she wants makes things happen (he's fully in charge). He is certainly not needy. And he doesn't need to chase her. In fact, she will be the one chasing him!

So I apologized and just told her, that I really enjoyed the date and wanted to see her again.

Ouch. Never be straightforward that you enjoyed the date. It kills the mystery and it reinforces her impression that she could completely own you if she wanted to. The man she craves about is a man she cannot fully control. Also, he's unapologetic.

The rest of your interaction, you've been the one constantly chasing her over text, initiating the conversations, and asking for a second date. The more chase-y and needy you appear, the more she is put off. But she can't brush you off too hard and she's trying to manage your emotions, so she says she's busy and doesn't have time and all sorts of excuses, and always being kind. Until it all becomes awkward.

Just thinking about the number of girls I did put off myself, doing exactly this! But fortunately it is possible to unlearn this behavior.

You need to take away a few points:
* Never assume you're going to get a second date. Only when you become better at women, can you more or less count on a second date (consistently).
* In the meantime have your whole plan ready for your date. This includes having a seduction location ready.
* Instead of chasing, let her come to you. If she likes you and wants to see you again, she'll be the one texting you the next day to say she really enjoyed the date.
* Never be needy. Never depend on one single girl for your happiness. Make sure you are gaming and dating several girls at any given time. If you do this, you cannot be needy.
* Remember: although she cannot openly admit it, what she really needs is to be fucked by you. Don't let her or anyone else tell you otherwise. Give her what she really needs, she will be happy and grateful for it.

If you internalize and apply the above, you will see a lots of change in the dynamics of your interactions with girls. Because you will have become the kind of man they like!

Now about your question. Too many things have gone wrong already, it might be hard to reverse, at least in the short term. It is certainly much easier to start off fresh with a brand new girl, with whom you still have your full chances. My best advice is to drop off this one for now (i.e. cut contact), and try other girls, along the lines of the points above. If your girl contacts you back, don't rush in the chase-y mode again. If she doesn't, send her a ping text "hey, how are you doing ;-)" in 3 months. If she doesn't answer then, erase her details.

It's probably not the answer you expected, I hope this helps nevertheless.

Seppuku

 

[Peter_S]

First,

thanks a lot for your answers and your time.

Even though it will be hard to do it i'll go with your advice Seppuku (cutting the contact), as I already thought of doing something like that.

I'll update the topic if there are any new developments.

Again thanks for your help,

Peter