What's the optimal response for this sexual window?

[Hue]

This happened at work yesterday and I know I could have handled it better. I'm the only straight guy where I work, and there's a new girl that looks just like Jennifer Aniston. We had some chemistry towards the beginning of our first shift together, and she hit me with this:

New girl: You know the funniest thing.. you kind of look like my little brother
Me: Hmm, that's pretty weird
New girl: *stares* yea, it's mostly in the face
Gay dude: He looks like your little brother? Well I wonder what your babies would look like then!
Me: Haha. Not a terrible suggestion..
Me: Well you're gonna have to show me a picture or two, new girl
New girl: Haha yea.. I can show you a picture

Gay dude set me up with a sexual window / chase frame window, and I feel like my answer could have been better. I also wonder if the little brother thing was a shit test to some regard.

What do you guys think?

 

[foggy]

Hi Hue,

You mentioned you had some chemistry together during the start of your shift, then she started revealing some personal details about herself and even started expressing her emotions to you (in your journal)! I don’t think this was a test at all...I believe it was the pickup proceeding in a normal way. There was an attraction phase, and a connection phase. The attraction phase can’t continue forever, now she wants to feel comfortable and is trying to develop some rapport with you so that she can feel okay with potentially being seduced by you.

What is the purpose or intention behind her brother statement? Maybe her comment about you looking like her brother is symbolic of this connection she is trying to build with you. Or, maybe it is her attempt to try to reduce your dominance over her. Who knows? It would depend on her relationship with her brother and the situation is general.

You could have asked her what her brother was like, and tried to see if you had personality traits similar to his.

But, you’re looking for a sexual answer so I’ll give you my 2 cents. What about a reframe to turn her platonic comment about her brother into something sexual? She is talking about looks, but looks are not the end all be all…what matters is more how she feels:

New girl: You know the funniest thing.. you kind of look like my little brother
Me: Look like your brother, feel like your daddy

....or you could cooperate with the gay guy's frame, and agree and amplify, and project into the future (in your own style)

Gay dude: He looks like your little brother? Well I wonder what your babies would look like then!
Me: In 20 years time we will have 4 healthy teenagers. They will all be neuroscientists and look slightly like jennifer aniston

...or go straight into a roleplay (in your own style)

Gay dude: He looks like your little brother? Well I wonder what your babies would look like then!
Me: We've been trying for ages but it seems like we're not destined to have any kids

...or

Gay dude: He looks like your little brother? Well I wonder what your babies would look like then!
Me: We'll let you know 9 months from now

Let me know what you think.

 

[Hue]

songbird,

There was an attraction phase, and a connection phase.

This is true, and something I may have missed at doing while at work. We were talking, and she would initiate a lot of the conversation with me, but because of the fast past work environment towards the end of the night some of that got cut out. Hopefully I can rekindle it later since it's social circle.

You could have asked her what her brother was like, and tried to see if you had personality traits similar to his.

Good call.

New girl: You know the funniest thing.. you kind of look like my little brother
Me: Look like your brother, feel like your daddy

Haha as much as I love this, that would have been uncalibrated of me and not fit the context.

Gay dude: He looks like your little brother? Well I wonder what your babies would look like then!
Me: In 20 years time we will have 4 healthy teenagers. They will all be neuroscientists and look slightly like jennifer aniston

Gay dude: He looks like your little brother? Well I wonder what your babies would look like then!
Me: We've been trying for ages but it seems like we're not destined to have any kids

Gay dude: He looks like your little brother? Well I wonder what your babies would look like then!
Me: We'll let you know 9 months from now

I like these. Especially the last one, because it makes it such a newer development. There's a million ways you could put it, but implicitly saying that "the baby is already on the way" / "we banged" is a good response if she's feeling it.


The reason I thought it might have been some form of a test is because I know girls that will try to make you the "subordinate" by making you seem like the younger, lil brother type to mess with you / test you. Like I'm 22 and most my coworkers are 24-27 (she's 26) and you see this when they call you "sweety" or "honey" - so the way I was thinking about it could lend itself to the same dynamic.