Hey!
So long story long, i've started dating this girl. She's 22, quite shy (socially and with boys), never had a boyfriend, in fact, the first date she's ever been was with me. We started dating 1-1,5 month ago, but we know each other for a year, we are in a university group kinda thing together.
The first date went great, spent the whole afternoon together and went home after midnight, you could just see her positive body language. The second date was a little bit flat and i was worried, so i grabbed her hand when i walked her home. When we said goodbye, you could just feel the awkwardness on her face, i think it was way too fast for her, but she didn't pull away or anythin during holding hands. I messaged her saying that it might have been too fast for her and she said yes it was and said that she can be awkward and doesn't know how to handle situations like this.
After this, we went out again for our 3rd date and i brought up our messaging. She said that she was glad that i asked her out but i made too big gestures with the hand-holding and i also wrote her a letter when i was abroad (not a big deal, it was the same as we were talking) and she's not sure what she wants and she lets me know when she made a decision, but doesn't want to stop seeing me, but she wants more simpler dates, not like the first one which was too long. She also expressed that she never went on a date and stuff like this, explaining that she don't know how to handle this and also the fact that we're in a group together and how it will be within the group if this doesn't end well.
I know this is a textbook red flag, but the fact that she said she still wants to try gave me a little hope. Also, this girl is genuinely inexperienced, so not somebody who would drag you along like a lot of girls.
How would you handle this situation? I feel like i should give her some time, but how long is too long? Also as i mentioned we're in a group together, so we see each other once a week, where there's hardly any talking between us. I think it's a little bit weird for her that we're in this group together while seeing each other, but even i can't handle this, like talking to her within this group like nothing happened, so she might feel like "i'm not cool enough" if i can't make small talk and joke around. But when we're together, i can.
Since she's very unsure about everything, i feel like it matters very much how i behave and show that i'm in charge and sure of myself, but somehow also giving her some space and not rush things. Not sure how to do this though.
I feel like i'm on a razor's edge here and the whole thing succeeds or fails on a very small thing.
So long story long, i've started dating this girl. She's 22, quite shy (socially and with boys), never had a boyfriend, in fact, the first date she's ever been was with me. We started dating 1-1,5 month ago, but we know each other for a year, we are in a university group kinda thing together.
The first date went great, spent the whole afternoon together and went home after midnight, you could just see her positive body language. The second date was a little bit flat and i was worried, so i grabbed her hand when i walked her home. When we said goodbye, you could just feel the awkwardness on her face, i think it was way too fast for her, but she didn't pull away or anythin during holding hands. I messaged her saying that it might have been too fast for her and she said yes it was and said that she can be awkward and doesn't know how to handle situations like this.
After this, we went out again for our 3rd date and i brought up our messaging. She said that she was glad that i asked her out but i made too big gestures with the hand-holding and i also wrote her a letter when i was abroad (not a big deal, it was the same as we were talking) and she's not sure what she wants and she lets me know when she made a decision, but doesn't want to stop seeing me, but she wants more simpler dates, not like the first one which was too long. She also expressed that she never went on a date and stuff like this, explaining that she don't know how to handle this and also the fact that we're in a group together and how it will be within the group if this doesn't end well.
I know this is a textbook red flag, but the fact that she said she still wants to try gave me a little hope. Also, this girl is genuinely inexperienced, so not somebody who would drag you along like a lot of girls.
How would you handle this situation? I feel like i should give her some time, but how long is too long? Also as i mentioned we're in a group together, so we see each other once a week, where there's hardly any talking between us. I think it's a little bit weird for her that we're in this group together while seeing each other, but even i can't handle this, like talking to her within this group like nothing happened, so she might feel like "i'm not cool enough" if i can't make small talk and joke around. But when we're together, i can.
Since she's very unsure about everything, i feel like it matters very much how i behave and show that i'm in charge and sure of myself, but somehow also giving her some space and not rush things. Not sure how to do this though.
I feel like i'm on a razor's edge here and the whole thing succeeds or fails on a very small thing.
