When GF talks alot/keeps initiating convo and you don't want to talk, what do you do?

[DocumentationTreasury]

I don't know what to do. I feel like energy drained each time and lost.

I am very silent/don't talk much. She keeps initiating convo when I'm in the middle of reading something or watching something and I feel some mental fatigue at the constant change in attention/task interruption. We live together.

I rarely talk. And she keeps directing the conversation to emotional topics that make her sad and I don't know how to escape each time or how to prevent it from going there. There is thread cutting (chase talks about this) but usually this happens when I'm relaxing in bed and we are in the same room and don't feel like talking. I like relaxing in that bed in the evening but am starting to think I should try to keep some distance in the evening because its harder to think of how to handle these situations when my mind is tired

I need to think of some strategies of what to do. We live together, its her place, I can't get kicked out during the semester -> that would be a disaster.

current plan is something like 'honey, I'm tired let's take a break from talking" and then start leaving the room. Bad idea? Sounds bad? What are some good options?

 

[FrothySolutions]

Am I confused, or is being boyfriend and girlfriend a commitment to one another's emotional needs?

 

[Rakehell]

I don't know what to do. I feel like energy drained each time and lost.

I am very silent/don't talk much. She keeps initiating convo when I'm in the middle of reading something or watching something and I feel some mental fatigue at the constant change in attention/task interruption. We live together.

I rarely talk. And she keeps directing the conversation to emotional topics that make her sad and I don't know how to escape each time or how to prevent it from going there. There is thread cutting (chase talks about this) but usually this happens when I'm relaxing in bed and we are in the same room and don't feel like talking. I like relaxing in that bed in the evening but am starting to think I should try to keep some distance in the evening because its harder to think of how to handle these situations when my mind is tired

I need to think of some strategies of what to do. We live together, its her place, I can't get kicked out during the semester -> that would be a disaster.

current plan is something like 'honey, I'm tired let's take a break from talking" and then start leaving the room. Bad idea? Sounds bad? What are some good options?

Try Pacing and Leading her emotions so she doesn’t feel neglected. Show her you understand and then shine whatever her issue is in a positive light (preferably with you two facing the problem).

For example if she keeps bringing up a coworker who’s talking behind her back, and she feels angry about it, you’d respond with something like.

“Yeah screw her, it’s not cool of her to talk behind your back like that. Work is so boring and on top of that it’s like highschool all over again. That’s what makes times like this where we csn just relax and be in eachothers company all the better”

You could cut and then direct the thread to whatever you want to continue doing like this. Say you want finish watching tv.

“Have you seen this show? Come lay next to me i’ve heard it’s really good, it’s a cool little show about blah blah blah”.

Hope this helps.

 

[sab]

I understand your predicament. Women are more talkative and verbose and more expressive than men. Their brains are wired differently which allow them to process their stronger emotions and build connections with others. It seems to be some evolutionary adaptation for survival from when our ancestors lived in the caves. Does she has female friends, does she talk to her mother? That could relieve her from unloading her part of her bottled emotions onto you. You can let her speak and listen without judging her. Most of the time, they want to be listened to, not solve a problem as men. I know how you feel.