When/how to use “um-hum” and when to NOT use it

[housecards]

Just had a thought about the “um-hum” response as a “yeah” that’s so common with us. Haven’t figured out when is appropriate during the interaction to use this “um-hum” yet because it’s sort of habitual of me (perhaps a bad habit). I do think it’s better to deliver it while combining with facial/body language in a flirty way (e.g. smiling and looking at her deeply in the eyes so as not to come across as arrogant and lead to auto-reject).

However, I do notice that it’s not good to do this as an affirmative response when she asks a question early on (pre-hook point) or in a group/social environment when there are people around potentially listening. Maybe it’s not a big deal if it’s followed up by another statement, or is “um-hum” really a bad habit and better to avoid it altogether?

Any seducer having pondered about it please feel free to share your two cents.

 

[Conquistador]

Well, here's my two cents:

The two-"syllable" "um-hum" is almost NEVER good in any context. Avoid it like the plague greatpox!

However, a short, muted "mm" is fine sometimes.

The best way to listen actively is via nonverbals tho.

 

[housecards]

Well, here's my two cents:

The two-"syllable" "um-hum" is almost NEVER good in any context. Avoid it like the plague greatpox!

However, a short, muted "mm" is fine sometimes.

The best way to listen actively is via nonverbals tho.

That’s right! I found it’s much better to cut out “um-hum” and focus on eye contact on the person speaking instead.