When she turns the date into interview.

[RedNeck]

Hello folks,

What do you do when she turns the date into an interview? She has a list of questions, and she keeps asking you: Do you do that and this? Most of her questions are intended to screen for boy boyfriend. How to break off from this cycle?

 

[POB]

How old is she?

 

[RedNeck]

38 years old. And yes, this is usually common with older women

 

[POB]

Yep, she is provider hunting.
You can flip the script, but you gotta have patience.
Personally, I would focus on other chicks.

 

[Will_V]

Hello folks,

What do you do when she turns the date into an interview? She has a list of questions, and she keeps asking you: Do you do that and this? Most of her questions are intended to screen for boy boyfriend. How to break off from this cycle?

One good response to this is to answer in a slightly boyfriend disqualifying way and then reframe it and turn it back to her.

E.g.

Her: "What do you do for work?"
You: "Oh a bit of this and that. Mostly X. I like to live life on my own terms. How about you, do you like to live life on your terms or follow some boring career path?"

These older women usually have two clearly separated boxes, one for providers and one for lovers, and since the provider one is much more empty than the other one they try to filter quickly for guys that can go into it. But that doesn't mean that she won't put you in the lover box, and it definitely does not mean you can get in the lover box by pretending to go into the provider box first. They usually will not entertain guys who don't clearly fit into one or the other, especially potential lovers who aren't comfortable making themselves known.

 

[POB]

One good response to this is to answer in a slightly boyfriend disqualifying way and then reframe it and turn it back to her.

E.g.

Her: "What do you do for work?"
You: "Oh a bit of this and that. Mostly X. I like to live life on my own terms. How about you, do you like to live life on your terms or follow some boring career path?"

These older women usually have two clearly separated boxes, one for providers and one for lovers, and since the provider one is much more empty than the other one they try to filter quickly for guys that can go into it. But that doesn't mean that she won't put you in the lover box, and it definitely does not mean you can get in the lover box by pretending to go into the provider box first. They usually will not entertain guys who don't clearly fit into one or the other, especially potential lovers who aren't comfortable making themselves known.

Yeah, the "independent" angle usually works.
Frame the conversation so she can "prove" to you that she is her own woman, like @Will_V said, and maybe she will slot you into the lover box right away

Another thing to do is always give her mixed signals: one moment you are a seducer and a lover, pushing for sex, and right next to it you show a soft caring side. It can short-circuit her barriers, and allow her to give in to that raw attraction.

 

[Will_V]

Another thing to do is always give her mixed signals: one moment you are a seducer and a lover, pushing for sex, and right next to it you show a soft caring side. It can short-circuit her barriers, and allow her to give in to that raw attraction.

The way I see it, you want to be classy and show great social calibration, and yeah I agree that showing your soft caring side helps (since she can be a bit cynical at that age), but you don't want to come across like you're available for the longer term. If these women get a whiff of that they will start long gaming you like there's no tomorrow.

 

[POB]

The way I see it, you want to be classy and show great social calibration, and yeah I agree that showing your soft caring side helps (since she can be a bit cynical at that age), but you don't want to come across like you're available for the longer term. If these women get a whiff of that they will start long gaming you like there's no tomorrow.

Oh for sure!
Just a little sprinkle here and there so she can feel like a "lady" and lower her asd.
Seducer always in front.

 

[Will_V]

Oh for sure!
Just a little sprinkle here and there so she can feel like a "lady" and lower her asd.
Seducer always in front.

Agreed! These women need a bit more of a tender touch.

 

[GhostOfRoosh]

38 years old. And yes, this is usually common with older women

WTF! How old are you? You must lack experience because this is inappropriate date behavior and you should not tolerate it. It is your job to lead. You can ignore the questions. You can exclaim "Let's grab another drink!" Or "Let's dance." Or "Let's play a game" and then give the The Cube personality test.

I once blankly looked at my date and replied "I'm not here to audition for anything." And I meant it.

A date is a social contract. A man extends an invitation, makes plans, and pays. If she does not come prepared then she is wasting your time (and money). I have walked out on dates or ended them early when women were tardy, dressed inappropriately, not hot, or were rude/inappropriate/whatever.

Women unconciously "test" men. You know how you see a woman with a cute butt and want to see how she looks from the front? Women feel the same urge to know if a man is truly alpha. Women can't resist asking questions to probe your financial and social status. At the same time, women are repelled by men who are too eager and compliant. So you can't overreact and explode with anger. You just need to set appropriate boundaries.

This reminds me of a job interview where the interviewer asked me easy math questions, several degrees below my resume. So I answered one to demonstrate cooperation. But I also told him that the job might be an ineffective use of my skills. He was apologetic, telling my that Ph.D.'s sometimes flunked these questions. And he was impressed by my patience.

Anyway, some women pursued me after I walked out, or immediately slept with me when I would no longer wine and dine them. Other ones were just time-wasters and tire-kickers, and I saved time. You need to have some self-respect and realize you are not there to please the women. You are both there to explore romantic compatibility and sex. If you appease her in the hopes of having another date, then you have failed. She did not shave her legs to hear boring interview answers. She wants you to take charge and heat her up.