When She Wants Me to Buy Her

[Troy]

Short post! I was whatsapping a girl, her name is Savannah yesterday. Reason being is she is a party promoter and I wanted to buy tickets for upcoming December parties. A little background.....I first met her in the city hwt while out with Ritchie , 3 months ago ( that friend who I taught was a natural and who was " encouraging me to smoke weed... PS I won't). I last saw Savannah at a summer party and we danced a good time. I didn't collect her number then. Last month I saw her on Facebook and messaged keeping it to the point and got her number ( because I like her) Before I'm told, I should point out, I am on a lot of social media networks to talk to FRIENDS only . I don't use them to " get girls ". I'm not going to close my accounts because of xyz reason that doesn't help me in any way. Emphasis on " friends " only. I'm not super excited like the majority that do have social media. For example facebook, I hardly use it. However it's still a important tool in my life. Could be I wake up and want to find a party this weekend ,I check there) .

Last week I found out she is a party promoter and had tickets for lots of parties in December. We were supposed to meet last week so I'd buy the tickets but she flaked ( she was the one to text me yesterday night apologizing for flaking and said her teacher took away her phone the day before we were to meet....it happens to high school kids a lot) .

After the apology we talk a bit about the parties... she giving me more details about each party and me deciding which one to attend. I'm going to meet Savannah on Thursday for the tickets... then I figured hey good opportunity to ask her out...the initial reason I got wanted her number is because I like her a lot. After we agree on the date I say :

Tuesday Night Whatsapp

Troy ( 11:54PM ): After I get the tickets I'm gonna get food in hwt. Let's go together!

Savannah ( 11:57PM ): You buying food for me Chinese food

This is a test I don't wanna fail. It's the first a girl has been so brite and straightforward to suggest /tell me I'm paying for her. If she were face to face with me I'd have turned it around by flirting. I didn't even tell her I'm getting Chinese food. Remember in my past FR I was asking girls out using " let's chill "
I was advised not to use chill as it can mean " let's go have sex " etc

Reason why I used " chill " was because it seemed like a casual word meaning I'd meet the girl in a relaxed setting, something cool.

I was told to use " get food/drink etc ( something specific) instead of throwing out chill ( which could mean anything. To my question, how could I answer her? And in similar situations what is a good guide to follow and answer these questions?

I'm not going to ask her out and spend any money on a first date. It's possible if I tell her I'm buying her nothing she will say no to the date. How to handle girls requesting things from me I don't want to give? I'd prefer to tell girls like her " no " any day.

Edit :

Just reply something funny to you, e.g. "lol the food bank is down the road missy" or "Did your mum forget to give you pocket money?"

I'll use the first example you gave on her. Thanks

Troy

 

[Smith]

To my question, how could I answer her? And in similar situations what is a good guide to follow and answer these questions?

I'm not going to ask her out and spend any money on a first date. It's possible if I tell her I'm buying her nothing she will say no to the date. How to handle girls requesting things from me I don't want to give?

If you tell her no and she doesn't want to come....then she's not interested! remember what we said in your last FR. Stop wasting time on girls who are not interested. Girls who are actually testing you will be glad you stood your ground. Just reply something funny to you, e.g. "lol the food bank is down the road missy" or "Did your mum forget to give you pocket money?"

 

[Troy]

Smith ,

I tried out your line and here is how the rest of the conversation went

Troy ( 6:00AM ): Lol the food bank is down the road missy

Savannah ( 6:37AM ) : Lol A What this

Troy ( 7:36AM ): Hey the food bank has more in the machine. Choose lol

Savannah ( 7:37AM ): Lol

Troy ( 8:01AM ): I love Chinese too

Savannah ( 9:18AM ): Yep

Troy ( 9:34AM ): So you coming to get food too? I only buying for myself

Savannah ( 12:19PM ): Kmft ( Kiss my fucking teeth )

I NEXTED her after that last text. That's just disrespectful and I won't reply to her. I'll just buy the tickets from her tomorrow if I happen to run into her. She ain't interested, and when I first met her I suspected that. Not that she disliked me, I just didn't feel any connection... anyway I tried to see and now I do. For the last text I sent her think there is a better way I could have said it? I mean I did what you said and she responded positively, then it seemed she didn't " get it " that I ain't buying her food. Either she comes out with me for " me " or she doesn't and she go find a nice guy who will. No further questions or comments needed from her. Could the way I responded be unasked for? And if so what's a better way to do it ( she didn't get it when I was playful so now I gotta say it straightforward.)

Troy

 

[Smith]

Troy,

I think she didn't get that you were being playful, which is why I suggest to come up with something you think is funny so it seems congruent to you. My line was just an example that fits my kinda humour lol Ideally, your text message should be congruent to how you interact with her in person, and you should always be warm in your text message even if she doesn't seem interested. Texting humour is also hard to grasp as well.

Next time, if a girl doesn't seem to get your joke, just be warm and say what you want but don't try to turn it into a you vs me frame. In this case
Her: "lol A whats this?"
Me: "haha I mean I would prefer if we pay separately =)"
at this point, either she'll accept or bail. But it looks like she was going to bail anyway. It's not often you come across girls who request you to buy them food over text. (in fact, never for me). If a girl ask you to buy them food on a date, just calibrate and depends on how the date is going. If you don't feel like it, just laugh it off and decline with humour AND warmth. Don't make it a big deal, and quickly move on.