When to pay for a date - pay and go to your room, she asks for it

[lux7]

I met this girl on the road after the end the night at a club.

BTW it was modestly a great way as it was a dark road but I pretended I was shooing away some prostitutes, which made me look cool for having prostitutes attention but not wanting it, and for making her turn so that I did not have to walk up to her and both chase her and possibly scare her. And it worked like a charm, she turned and we started a natural convo

I had already met her in the club, and she refused to going out with me.
Then she approached me again saying she didn't understand the need of going out, but then she peeled off again -read: she was a bit attracted but not enough-.

Anyway, she's now playing games, she's obviously very experienced, or at least feels extremely confident.
Indeed she feels dominant and like she can control the interaction thanks to her pussy card.

Keep her behaviour in mind as it's important, with a normal girl not trying to one up me I'd have paid.

I'm thinking she's actually either a prostitute herself or an ex prostitute.

We talk about going to my place, but first she wants to eat.

She orders and then goes to the bathroom.
She's obviously trying to make me pay, but I go sit and when the waiter asks her to pay she says to give the bill to me.

I say I won't pay and after a quick back and forth she leaves and I leave soon after.


YOUR THOUGHTS

I had absolutely no regrets at all with this woman and was actually proud of myself.

I'm just wondering though.. Have I let my ego get in the way, for a few euros I was standing at least a chance of taking her home.

Should you pay to avoid quarrels when you've already agreeing on going back? In normal cases I think yes.

But what about when she pretends you to pay... ?
I'd go for a no here as she might actually ask you for money later on if she's so accustomed on asking for money or not come at all and you shouldn't be dealing with that shit anyway.

 

[Franco]

lux,

I'm just wondering though.. Have I let my ego get in the way, for a few euros I was standing at least a chance of taking her home.

Should you pay to avoid quarrels when you've already agreeing on going back? In normal cases I think yes.

I'd say to just use your own judgment here. I certainly would have been a little annoyed if a woman tried to pull a fast one on me like that -- she's the one who suggested you get food, then she walks in there, orders, and leaves you with the bill. It's pretty rude.

At the same time, if I'm somewhat inebriated, the bill is insanely cheap, and I know it's my last opportunity to get laid that night, I might just pay for the bill to see where it takes me. The problem with not paying for the bill here is that you know how it's going to end up -- you two end up having a negative back and forth conversation, and then she leaves (like what happened here). So it's basically a guaranteed failure. At least with paying, you can continue moving the interaction forward further.

If you feel like you would have just been annoyed with her (and yourself) had you paid though, then I think not paying was the right call for you. If you can pay for her without letting it affect your opinion of her in a way that would negatively affect the entire seduction, then it can sometimes be worth a last-ditch effort to see what comes of it. =)

- Franco

 

[lux7]

That's a very sensible reply Franco.

One little detail which could go missing from the first message: she was the only one who ordered food, not me, that's why it felt even more "in my face" demanding to pay.

Anyway, I still was holding a chance by paying, my "issue" was that I don't take that shit, it's against the values I stand for AND that I would have hated her and gotten angry if I had paid and gotten nothing back.
In a way, so, it also was ego protection.

In part, I was afraid of having gotten hurt and was taking pleasure in feeling "in control" by basically telling her to fuck off.

That's an interesting part of paying/non paying: when you start paying attention to it, there's also an ego component in it: not paying can be ego-feeding.

 

[kalyan]

We all agree that the price of the food has nothing to do here: You'd probably give away 20$ to a good cause rather than 5$ to some chick who you really don't know. So that doesnt mean you're a cheap person. It's the whole principle that gets you annoyed.
Had you both eaten, it might've made sense for her to force you to pay; maybe she's used to guys drooling over her. But you not eating makes it increasingly her job to pay for her own stuff!
Had i been in your situation I would've argued in a friendly way, like "you usually leave home with no money on you? oh wow i cant believe it". Just argue without showing you really care; that is, DON'T let the atmosphere get poisoned. If she insisted, tell her (again, playful tone and smiling) "Fineeee, if you insist", pay for her, and don't refer to the whole thing again. That way you're actually compromising because evidently you're being forced to, but you're telling her you're not too happy about it... but then again, you dont care.