When to Re-schedule/Ask a girl out on a date?

[persona]

So I've known this girl for a while, long before I started looking up websites like this one for advice/help. I don't see her that often (maybe once a month I'll bump into her or we'll do something together), but she'll every one in a while she'll shoot me a text or message me on FB (usually she's initiates the conversations about 75% of the time). Recently she suggested that I go to her place to do baking or cooking with her sometime over our fall reading break coming up in a week.

I don't hear from her so, the Wednesday of the reading week I shoot her a text asking her what her schedules looking like for the rest of the week. She replies sunday or saturday morning but I felt like she was hesitant about doing it so i told her I was busy for the weekend and told her to drop me a line sometime next week so we could set something up and she replies, 'okay that works great with her'.

Flash forward one week to now and I haven't heard anything from her. Should I send her a text to schedule a fixed time or just leave it be until she initiates again?

 

[Franco]

persona,

so i told her I was busy for the weekend and told her to drop me a line sometime next week so we could set something up and she replies, 'okay that works great with her'.

Your mistake here was asking her to hit you up about scheduling a time to get together. That puts more pressure on her than you might realize, and it's your responsibility as the man to schedule the date. At this point, it seems like she was interested, so I would just hit her back and try to set something up.

For future reference, I would re-phrase the way you asked to re-schedule by saying something along the lines of, "Hey Jen, I'm actually busy this weekend and have some things to take care of. How about I hit you up sometime next week and we'll figure things out? " This way, she doesn't have to worry about when and how she should contact you and can patiently wait for you to contact her (which also generates mental investment on her part because, if she likes you, she'll be wondering when [and if] you're actually going to contact her).

Hope this helps!

- Franco

 

[persona]

Ah that makes much more sense! I was reading the article about texting and saw how Chase said not to let be to passive and let the girl call the shots, and used that example text as a framework. But I guess I must have misinterpreted the intent?

What should I do now as regards to rescheduling? Should I fire a text again or wait until she contacts me?

*Oops just re-read your message and realized i missed the advice! Thanks!

 

[Franco]

What should I do now as regards to rescheduling? Should I fire a text again or wait until she contacts me?

SInce you were waiting for her to contact you this week, I would probably just wait until early next week and then shoot her a text as if you weren't upset (or that you even noticed) that she didn't contact you. Something along the lines of:

Do you have any free evenings this week, Jen? I've got some time to do some of that baking that we've been talking about

Keep it short, warm, and to the point (without referencing that she didn't contact you last week). That's your best bet!

- Franco