When you get indications of interest how do you proceed?

[Ex Procastinator]

I'm very hit and miss at the moment and I feel a huge reason for this was I had a sticking point which was I was not making any moves I was not taking action I was not being a dominant Alpha male and leading. I have pushed through the sticking point but the problem is still evident.

My main point is when you get signs of interest.

Girl touching your elbow on the dance floor

She is constantly dancing close to you

Making eye contact with you

Using opening body language


What do you do ? What's your process?

also how you deal with the friends in the situation I usually try introduce them to my friends and then if they bite isolate the girl I want but sometimes my friends bite which leaves me in a stagnid position.

 

[Howell]

I'm very hit and miss at the moment and I feel a huge reason for this was I had a sticking point which was I was not making any moves I was not taking action I was not being a dominant Alpha male and leading. I have pushed through the sticking point but the problem is still evident.

My main point is when you get signs of interest.

Girl touching your elbow on the dance floor

She is constantly dancing close to you

Making eye contact with you

Using opening body language


What do you do ? What's your process?

also how you deal with the friends in the situation I usually try introduce them to my friends and then if they bite isolate the girl I want but sometimes my friends bite which leaves me in a stagnid position.

Hi Ex Procrastinator,

Have you tried just taking things one step at a time? It can be intimidating approaching girls under any circumstances, though there is an odd sort of feeling when you suspect a girl may ACTUALLY like you, kind of like you're cheating. "What if this actually goes somewhere?" you start thinking. "I better not mess this up..."

Or maybe you start doubting the signs: "Nah, I'm just reading into this. She probably has a boyfriend anyway. If I just wait a few minutes I'll be happy I didn't approach her."...

I recommend asking yourself why you want a process in the first place. The best seducers I know don't follow a conscious process (they don't follow any prescriptions. They can, of course, describe to you what they generally go for -- but that's different. More of a loose guide just in case things get off track and they can remind themselves what next to do). They ride the wave of the vibe and lead things to more and more enjoyable and interesting territory.

Someone else will probably post after me some technical process of optimization. However, with your issues, I don't think optimization is really what you should be concerned about. Worrying about optimization when you struggle with responding to approach invitations is not going to help you all that much, and will probably just get in your way. You don't start a fire with the big logs, after all.

Two tips for you:

1) Just go talk to her! Don't worry about what happens afterwards. You'll deal with it when it comes. (With approach invitations, don't respond immediately though. You don't want to be seen as reactive. It's fine to respond immediately if she's being really obvious though). The situation will change anyway. A rigid process is only going to limit you. Seduction is kind of like swimming. You dive in and it's cold at first sometimes and you have to keep moving or you're likely to sink.

2) Don't worry about planning ahead so much. That's how you get inside your head. Instead, try and enjoy yourself. Perhaps build some social momentum beforehand to get yourself in a social mood. You should have a loose idea about where things will go, but don't feel confined by any specific model. What works best in my experience is an open approach, not one where you try and confine yourself with rules and prescriptions.

Howell

 

[Ex Procastinator]

I'm very hit and miss at the moment and I feel a huge reason for this was I had a sticking point which was I was not making any moves I was not taking action I was not being a dominant Alpha male and leading. I have pushed through the sticking point but the problem is still evident.

My main point is when you get signs of interest.

Girl touching your elbow on the dance floor

She is constantly dancing close to you

Making eye contact with you

Using opening body language


What do you do ? What's your process?

also how you deal with the friends in the situation I usually try introduce them to my friends and then if they bite isolate the girl I want but sometimes my friends bite which leaves me in a stagnid position.

Hi Ex Procrastinator,

Have you tried just taking things one step at a time? It can be intimidating approaching girls under any circumstances, though there is an odd sort of feeling when you suspect a girl may ACTUALLY like you, kind of like you're cheating. "What if this actually goes somewhere?" you start thinking. "I better not mess this up..."

Or maybe you start doubting the signs: "Nah, I'm just reading into this. She probably has a boyfriend anyway. If I just wait a few minutes I'll be happy I didn't approach her."...

I recommend asking yourself why you want a process in the first place. The best seducers I know don't follow a conscious process (they don't follow any prescriptions. They can, of course, describe to you what they generally go for -- but that's different. More of a loose guide just in case things get off track and they can remind themselves what next to do). They ride the wave of the vibe and lead things to more and more enjoyable and interesting territory.

Someone else will probably post after me some technical process of optimization. However, with your issues, I don't think optimization is really what you should be concerned about. Worrying about optimization when you struggle with responding to approach invitations is not going to help you all that much, and will probably just get in your way. You don't start a fire with the big logs, after all.

Two tips for you:

1) Just go talk to her! Don't worry about what happens afterwards. You'll deal with it when it comes. (With approach invitations, don't respond immediately though. You don't want to be seen as reactive. It's fine to respond immediately if she's being really obvious though). The situation will change anyway. A rigid process is only going to limit you. Seduction is kind of like swimming. You dive in and it's cold at first sometimes and you have to keep moving or you're likely to sink.

2) Don't worry about planning ahead so much. That's how you get inside your head. Instead, try and enjoy yourself. Perhaps build some social momentum beforehand to get yourself in a social mood. You should have a loose idea about where things will go, but don't feel confined by any specific model. What works best in my experience is an open approach, not one where you try and confine yourself with rules and prescriptions.

Howell

Thanks for the advice my main concern is im doing a lot of talk and getting minor results

So was just wondering are they a set group of things people do which I could use to evaluate what I do or add to what I typically do conciously or sub conciously

 

[Drck]

* Forget the whole Alpha concept, it is useless. In your mind you see "Alpha" as some superior man who s 19x better than everybody else, who is a dream of all girls and who has behaviors that you see in movies. He throws around one or two sexy smiles and all girls run after him. He is a perfect seducer.... Then you try to imitate this Alpha, you try to be somebody who you are not... You are faking your personality and behavior, she sees right through you - and she rejects you... A better way is to start low and build yoursel up...

* Look at it this way, when she's is giving you signs of interest, you are already Alpha - at least in her mid. She already likes you the way you are, so why pretend to be somebody else, some body better than you? Just be you... The trick is to be comfortable in your skin and pretending to be anyone else. That's true alpha.

* Assume Attraction. When you see signs of interest, assume that she already likes you, that she wants to be with you... This will eliminate your hesitations

* So now when she likes you and wants to be only with you, why do you go and introduce her to bunch of other guys that she could potentionally perceive as attractive? Why do you risk that some of your 'good' friends will isolate this girl, take her away from you and sleep with her? Let me tell you a secret, these are not your friends. They see a pussy and they could care less about you. This happens often even with so called "best friends", even those guys go after your girl, many times when you are not around... So forget your friends, they are just good buddies to hang around while there is no pussy, but once there is a pussy they turn into hungry wolfs, while pretending being a sheep... Your friends will not help you in any way to get this girl, they will only make it more difficult for you...

* Isolate her, you want to be alone with her so you can do stuff. If nothing else, get her a drink, good enough for now. Or take her out where there is less noise and less people, so you can hear clearly what she has to say. Even couple minutes is good for now.

* Then talk. It doesn't matter about what. Say something. Talk about crazy people doing crazy things on dancing floor. See if you can find out who is she as a person without interrogating her, without shooting one question after another.... It is not a job interview. See if you can find out what does she like, who are her friends, how does she sees her life in the future, hat kind of guy is she looking for...

* Good enough, go from there. If there are good vibes, see if she likes you touching her. If she likes touching, see if she likes a kiss or two and so forth.... If there are no good vibes, if it feels too awkward, maybe you can get a phone number, and text her two days later... Try with different girls, see how far you get each time...

 

[Lawliet]

Radeng

All the seducer bros is right on the dot.
Main focus, taking action. It doesn't matter if she shows signs, or not (but if she does, approach her right away!) just approach, say hi.
Then after some chatting, go for compliance and see if she follows your lead, results over reactions.
Some are false positives but that's fine. You would approach anyway because all girls are into you (assume attraction).

Keep it up
Lawliet