Where and how do I start?

[132]

Quick description of my situation.

I'm 21, have great body,I'm told I'm attractive,184 tall(6ft 2 inches) have my own business and make enough money to drive a porsche.

Yet have low self esteem and am still a virgin and have never even been on a date with girl.



You see ever since I was little I was the fat kid that no girl ever liked. It stayed that way in high school, but this time I was the fat boy that learned computer programming and that no girl ever liked.


At the end of 2012 I was so depressed that I was suicidal all the time. So I decided to lose the weight so I hit the gym since the start of 2013. I got to abs as the end of August. Went to get a new haircut at some salon and found a gay stylist that cut my hair to look great. And got fashion advice from a female fashion consultant so I bought sexy clothes and shoes.

All my female friends told me I was looking very attractive.


At the end of August I decided I needed a fresh start and moved to the country's capital city.

I found an apartment in sth like a huge university campus that 10 universities are in one place.
So it absolutely full of university students and is full of beautiful girls.

And the porsche I bought a month ago, thinking that this was the only way to ever get a girl - to find some young gold digger.




The thing is I should be confident, I should't care, I should have high standards, should be going out and sleeping with girls.

But I'm none of those.


I still feel like the fat kid that no girl would ever even look at, and never consider going out with.
I tried faking confidence, read the articles on being sexy and dominant and having a sexy walk and every single article on this site.
I know logically that I'm good looking with nice body, ambitious and running my own company so I don't have to worry about working for a living.

And yet every time I go out and see a girl, I start feeling like a piece of garbage. And am absolutely terrified of approaching any girl.


And I'm a guy that is not scared of anything, I mean I spent a year planning my own suicide and in that time I lost all fear. But I'm terrified of stopping a girl and saying "Hi you're cute.."


Social circle is no option, since I moved and know absolutely no one here. I'm not going to university so I don't meet people in classes. Basically my social life is 0.

My day consists of: going to the gym, meeting with employees who are computer programmers, thinking and planning marketing strategies and new products, going home and wishing I could have a girl next to me.

So I have no friends here, no wingman, not a single person I can go out with. And I'm surrounded by young people only thinking about partying 24/7



I know Chase might say go to a club. But I don't like clubs. I don't like the music, I don't like getting drunk, And since I'd be going alone I'd feel like the biggest loser/creep.

Day game is gonna be my choice but I get super scared every time I even consider approaching. And I've read all the articles on Approach Anxiety like 10 times each. I understand all that is written and yet every time I get terrified.



And I'm super embarrassed about the being a virgin at 21 thing. But since I was the fat unattractive kid I never ever had a shot with a girl.

I'm seriously considering to get s prostitute and just get it over with and just lose this stupid virginity. And then maybe sleeping with another 9-10 prostitutes so when I get a girlfriend I would've at least slept with 10 women before that.

Since I get the vibe from this site, that if you haven't slept with 20-30 women you're not a man, but some piece of sh#t.



And honestly my goal is not to sleep around. I just want to find a cool girlfriend and fall mutually in love and have a relationship.


But right now I think my standards as low as they can get: the first girl that likes me, no matter how she look like(as long as she's not fat or super ugly) just get in a relationship with, since I won't be able to find a girl that likes me ever again.







But I have no Idea how to start. I know you'd say just go out and approach during the day. And to that I'd say - if it was that easy I wouldn't have posted this in the first place. And I've handled all the fundamentals pretty good. I know I'm better looking and behaving that 90% of the other guys, but still feel so insecure and with absolutely zero confidence. I can't explain how or why.

As for the virgin part should I hire a prostitute to just get it over with?

And then should I sleep with like 10 more prostitutes to get my "number" up?


Honestly right now I feel like I'm gonna end up a 60 year old lonely man. And my only chance of sleeping with a girl is to start going to prostitutes regularly. Or ti find a young gold digger.


The thing is I assume that If I approach 10000000 girls I'd get rejected 100%. If I knew I girl found me attractive and would go out with me, before I even approach her, I'd have no problem going to talk to her. But since I can't know that for sure unless some girl comes and tells me "I find you attractive"..




Have any ideas/suggestions?

 

[Franco]

Ico132,

If money really isn't an issue, then paying for a woman to sleep with you just so you can get the mental block out of your head can actually be helpful. I know there are a few members on the board who have done it, and I have nothing against it, but just make sure you wrap your tool!

With that being said, there is a trick that I posted on the boards awhile ago that can help you with your approach anxiety -- although no matter what, you're still going to have to approach without knowing the outcome of the situation. That is part of the way you become better, and there is no other way around it. We've all had to do it, and many of the members on this board come from a similar background (virgin, don't drink, overweight earlier in life, etc).

One of the tricks that I used to help myself get over approach anxiety was telling myself to go and talk to a girl with the purpose of being rejected. Not joking here. Early into my cold approach days, extreme approach anxiety was holding me back, and I ultimately decided that the reason I couldn't approach is that I felt like I had to succeed with every girl I would talk to or I would feel like complete shit. I would feel like I'm not good enough, or I would feel like I'm being a nuisance to a girl. Girls don't think this way; and even if you were to annoy them for JUST one moment, they'll forget about it in (almost always less than) 24 hours. Women are used to being approached by men at bars on a weekly basis, so it's not like approaching a woman is going to ruin the rest of her life. She'll likely forget about it long before you do when you're first starting out. This is just something you will begin to realize as you become more prolific with women.

So next time you go out, tell yourself that you're going to approach a girl with the intent of being rejected. You need to feel the slight sting to realize that that's exactly all it is: a momentary, slight sting. Within 20-30 seconds after the interaction as ended, you'll look back and say, "wow, that was scary as shit, BUT I DID IT. That wasn't so bad!" And you'll probably need to use this tactic repeatedly every time you go out for awhile to get "warmed up" to being rejected before the confidence shines through showing that you don't care about rejection. You know you are the shit, and when a girl rejects you, it's her loss. You move on to the next approach and work your magic!

Anyway, I would try this tactic if you haven't yet, Ico132. The only way to learn this skill is to go out and do it. And as a computer programmer myself, I can tell you that it certainly can be done by any one at any time if they are willing to put forth the effort!

- Franco

 

[LucidityComeBackToMe]

Ico132,

Could I trade places with you? Joking aside, the fact that you are already wealthy at 21 (self made), drive a Porsche, and are 6'2"I would think you would have women hitting on you all the time. Something is seriously amiss and I think you must be giving off some sort of vibe that you are not attainable and/or some sort of negative energy. I am only 5'5" and 120 lbs, Eurasian, and only possess a modest income for my age (29). I always imagined that if I were over 6 foot tall I would have things made and women would be all over me. When I was 21 I also had zero friends and no social life. My 21st b-day was just spent with my parents and I did not even start drinking alcohol until I studied abroad about 6 months later. Maybe there is something to not having any friends at all, that gives off this young Ebenezer Scrooge vibe, hahaha and people just sense that something is off/different about you.

Anyways if you have the money I would recommend just seeing an escort. Since money is not an issue with you, I would suggest that you go for the ones whose rates are $300-$500. These escorts are classier courtesan types that you would not be ashamed to be seen out with in public. Don't go for those cheap ones (under $200) that have that thousand yard stare (dead eyes) and you would be ashamed to be seen in public with (you will feel disgusted with yourself afterwards, trust me.) I myself was a virgin until 25 and decided to just lose it with an escort just a month shy of my 26th B-day. It really does help remove that mental block you have in regards to still being a virgin and embarrassed about it. I remember I would psyche myself out with the idea of having a one night stand or hooking up with some drunk chick at a party. I put so much importance to "who" I lose my virginity with and thought I will always remember if I lost it that way, it wasn't special! After you do the deed for the first time you will realize it is no big deal.

I would suggest that you do your homework and find someone that you are really into. I have always had a things for pale freckly redheads so I found one and another thing I would suggest is to find an escort that is in their mid-late 20s to early 30s. They tend to be more compassionate, better conversationalists, and make the experience more enjoyable. The younger ones (18-23) can be kind of bitchy, have that college party girl attitude, and don't know how to handle inexperienced men (lack of compassion, due to the fact that most of their clientele are married middle-aged men). There are exceptions though.

I have a friend that didn't do his homework and just settled on one when he lost his virginity. It completely mentally scarred him and he never saw another escort again or has not had a sexual experience again since then. Like I mentioned above she was a younger girl and did not know how to handle his awkwardness. Plus he couldn't get it up and it left him feeling emasculated and he tries to forget the whole thing happened because it is a painful memory for him (losing his virginity in that way).

So there are positives and negatives to losing your virginity to an escort. I had a good run for awhile until the 5th escort I saw. She was a bitch with a cold personality, trashy looking (not representative of her pics), and I felt disgusted afterwards and had my own thousand yard stare in my face, lol. Took a break for a year. It is always a hit and miss with escorts because you can't guarantee you will gel well with them and sometimes you are better off finding one you like and just becoming a repeat customer.

Another thing you can do if you are looking for a gold digger is join whatsyourprice. It is an online dating site where you bid for dates. So if money is not an issue with you, you can always try meeting women through there. There are a lot of HOT women there and I have gone on dates with women way out of my league. However I am not really wealthy enough to become a sugar daddy and gave up on that notion after numerous failures on that site. Things might be different for you though, since you are tall and have a good income. You probably have a good chance of setting up an "arrangement" there.

When it comes to myself, the reason I joined GC was to improve myself and lose my second virginity. I have yet to bed a woman that is not an escort and have never had a GF or any female friends. I had a lot of male buddies in my mid 20s, but I have gone back to being a loner again and it depresses me that I will turn 30 next year, already got a few of my first grey hairs and have never had a f@cking girlfriend! Anyways if you have any private questions feel free to PM me.

 

[MisterX]

Ico132,
you sound like a nice guy and not some douche.

both Franco and lucidity gave some valid points, but here's my take on some things they didn't mention:


- first off don't lose your virginity to an escort. It's not the same as sex with a girl you seduced and as Lucidity said, even after you do that, you'd have to lose your second virginity - meaning sleeping with a girl you seduced. From what I read you'd like your first time a lot more if it's with a girl that may not be super hot, but is cute and slim and that likes you and is not doing it for money.


- that also goes for finding a gold digger - just don't it's not the same and you wont get much satisfaction. Sleeping with a 5-6(though I hate the 1-10 system - I use Chase's 1-3 scale) that is into you and you seduced will feel 100 times better than sleeping with a 10 escort or 10 gold digger.


_ and about your money and car, honestly I wouldn't ever mention it to girls. Just don't mention/show you have money.
If a girl asks you where you study - just say you don't and you have your business that you're trying to make successful(don't say it is already successful, she doesn't need to know).
If a girl ask you do you have a car you can say you're embarrassed by your car and you don't want people to judge you by what you drive. She'd assume it's some piece of cr#p but you're not lying. You actually won't want her to judge you by what you drive.



- as for the how to start I'm also doing a 100% only day game and what franco sait is kinda a good strategy but is still kinda hard to do, meaning you'll have to go out of your comfort zone pretty drastically.

Here's what I think you should do for the next one month.

So for the next 30 days I want you to go out every single day.
- go exploring the city, since you said you're new
-go out and walk for two hours
-ask random people for directions - not only hot girls but ask guys, ask older people, ask really old people, ask everyone
-go to shopping malls and spend the whole day there - go to every shop and browse, buy if you need sth,


-here's sth that might seem strange but will get you talking to new women and get you accustom to it: Go to every single clothing store! there are female consultant in every single clothing store and they are usually attractive or at least not ugly. When you enter they come and talk to you and if you stay in there for and hour trying out new clothes - this is an hour you'll spend talking to an attractive woman. Just make sure you go on days that are slow and at slow hours - meaning there are almost no other people shopping there so she'll spend all her time on you. And you know if she's attractive you may simply ask her what clothes she'd recommend. What clothes she'll find you sexy in. Cause you know attractive girls have a good men's fashion sense and that way you'll - talk to attractive girls for hours and if you do it every day at different mall/shopping center, you'll have talked to 50-60+ attractive girls in that one month AND you'd buy more clothes that would look really attractive on you.


- go to every single book store or library and just spend an hour or more browsing books. You seem like an intelligent man and I think you like reading so you won't be bored in a book store. The reason is that some of the most amazing, intelligent and cool girls I've met were in a book store or library.
You mind and should talk to girls there but if you don't there's still a bigger chance of some girl approaching you in there or giving you a super obvious approach invitation.


- sing up for classes: yoga, photographing, acting, singing, dancing, cooking, language classes like french, etc. those are all classes that are largely full of girls and attractive one's at that. If you go to several of these classes regularly like twice a week at each, you'll be approach by more than one girl. Since you'll be maybe the only good looking male there (not counting the gay guys who can be pretty fun to hand with), and when they've seen you every week for some weeks, they get courageous and will approach you in an indirect way. Start conversations with them and if you pick up that she likes you, you can go out with her. Plus the people that are regulars at those classes have kind of a small community. Meaning they go out together so you can become a part of their group and go out with a bunch of girls to go party or have dinner or drinks.
This way you'll get female friends that you can go out with. Get comfortable being with girls - since in such a class you'll be in a closed space with like 20 girls for a couple of hours every day (if you go to multiple different classes). Plus I think that it'd be pretty easy to find a girl who wants you to go out.




The final and probably most important is your vibe.

Lucidity might be right you may be giving off a bad vibe. Since you mentioned you tried to fake confidence, you may appear to others as cold, unattainable and unapproachable.

Don't try to be the James Bond intense master seducer.

You're 21! The girls that are your age(18-23) go crazy for the hot, smart, but innocent and cute looking guys. Just look at every single famous actor or singer, especially the young one's. They all do this being sexy but cute and innocent looking with big eyes.


From what I read about you that would be easy for you. Since you won't be faking being a bad boy.

You don't have to be the bad boy a$$hole guy to get girls crazy from the moment they see you.

You can do that by being sexy but innocent and cute.

And since you have your business to run and you'll be going to different classes every day, and go exploring the city, and as you said working out at the gym, you won't be that available to become needy and boring. You'll always have your thing going on, you'll be busy. She won't be that certain when you'll be available to go out. And since you won't be easily available she won't take you for granted.







For the finale about sex stuff:

- first start reading all the article on GC about being a great lover.
- read "how to be her best lover ever"

here's a short summary of how to be amazing in bed:
- love foreplay. I really love it. I can spend 2 hours on foreplay alone kissing a girls body all over, teasing her, touching her, massaging her.
- be great at eating pussy. There's another thing I love - to eat pussy. I love the taste of it, the feeling of it, and how it makes a girls mind go blank and crazy.
There's a great video called "Saymore Butt - How to eat pussy like a champ". Just google it. It like 2h and every single friend I've recommended it to gave his girl mind blowing orgasms, my self included.
- don't make giving her and orgasm be the goal. The goal is to have fun and for her to feel good. And a little secret a girl can feel good and have fun even if she doesn't orgasm. Just make the goal to have fun and feel good and I can guarantee you'll both be orgasming.

- after you're done with foreplay and eating her out proceed to penetrating sex and do her hard. Be rough, pull her hair, smack her ass, pin her down, pin her hands to the bed. Thrust hard and deep inside her - and read Chase's article on how to make her orgasm from sex.

- there is a trick how to last long in be. It's not that you need to last long but that you can go multiple times.
If you last 10 minutes or less the first time, just start kissing her and doing foreplay and eating her out until you're erect and ready to go again which won't be more than 10 minutes. Then go again and this time you'll last longer. After you cum start with fore play and eating her out again, When you're erect start penetrating her again.
Do this as many times as you can. My personal record i 6 times in one night with one girl.





hope this all helps you!