where to go from here?

[John116]

Hey guys, any advice on this tricky/hard-to-read situation would be appreciated... apologies if it's TL;DR

Met a really smart, cute girl with an acerbic wit through friends, hit if off at a bar etc. and got her number, texted her the next day to ask her out, she replies soon after saying shes going away for Xmas/new years to stay with her parents but to send her a text in the new year so we can arrange a date.

Sent her that text last saturday to setup a date, then I went out with some friends, had some drinks, unexpectedly this girl turns up at the bar (although it was the same bar we met)! Chat for a bit with her, she says she got my text and was going to reply but blah blah blah. So I had a couple more drinks with her, by this time I am pretty drunk and the conversation isn't exactly smooth from my end but atleast I move her somewhere quiet to escalate things.

She seems quite flirty and says she'd like to go out with me soon. I make a couple of moves but she plays coy and says i'm too drunk to kiss her (I was quite intoxicated at that stage, and talking some total bollocks but she seemed mildly amused rather than offended at my boorishness), but she still wants to catch up, and we part ways (at this stage we are on good terms and I'm expecting her to send me a text in the next couple of days)

On Monday I find out from one of our friends she'd been "on a couple of dates" with another guy before she met me and I've complicated it because she likes me more.. blahdy blah blah. She hasn't replied to the text I sent her on saturday and I don't like texting a girl twice consecutively (feels like I'm chasing them); but at this stage it looks like nothings gonna happen unless I take some iniative. I've considered just writing it off. Other possibility is we might meet again through chance at our local bar where I can perhaps get a second chance to not get drunk and escalate things properly, though as we know second chances don't come along too often.

cheers guy for reading my long post, i'd be grateful for any thoughts, advice etc.

 

[Just_Dave]

Hey John,

Welcome to the forums!

From the looks of your situation, I can understand you being a little irked that she didn't text back but when you saw her you did get a warm response and were able to escalate physically as much as you could. With that in mind sending another text in the next couple suggesting a meet up wouldn't be a bad idea. The reason being is it will let you know once and for all where this is headed.

She texts back: Great! Go after her and get sex . . . because if you don't she'll be lost for good at that point

She doesn't text: Whatever, you were planning on moving on anyway.

Either way: Keep approaching new women so you can continuously give her the impression that you are a scare resource

Side note: Just cause there's another man or men in the picture doesn't mean they are as sexy as you . . . you're all on a space race to get in her pants!

Questions, comments, concerns?!

Just Dave

 

[John116]

Thanks for your insights, Dave. Yeah I agree that it's up to me to send one more text and have a crack or move on. I'm going to keep it brief and simple. The thing I'm struggling with atm is how to ask her out again as it will be technically the third time I've asked and I don't want to seem like a broken record, or that I'm chasing.

 

[Just_Dave]

Thanks for your insights, Dave. Yeah I agree that it's up to me to send one more text and have a crack or move on. I'm going to keep it brief and simple. The thing I'm struggling with atm is how to ask her out again as it will be technically the third time I've asked and I don't want to seem like a broken record, or that I'm chasing.

Hey John,

No worries, you can send something as simple as "Hey Jen, text me when you're free this week so we can grab a drink. " you can add or take away from the message to tailor it to your needs. You can send that as you're opener or send it after another opener such as "Hey Jen, I hope your weeks been good. " I would send the first message first if you want to get straight to the point though. At this point it's best to just be direct.

I once saw a great response in an article or on the boards but if you send the text message and see replies she's busy or not sure, you can say "Hey you're cute, but I'm not gonna chase send me a day that works for you. Otherwise cool meeting you. " It's powerful cause it let's her know what your objective is and that you're strong enough that you can walk away from her. It leaves her with the feeling that you want her but you don't need her.

Dave

 

[John116]

Cheers Dave, that's sound advice. Will give it a shot and see how it goes.