- Joined
- Oct 9, 2012
- Messages
- 6,238
I noticed an interesting thing about pointing out people to women.
There's the old PUA game (I think it's actually originally from the Howard Stern Show if I recall correctly) "Fuck, Marry, Kill" that tells a girl to point out three men in a bar: one she'd fuck, one she'd marry, and one she'd kill. This one's pretty well-balanced.
But I've seen a lot of other guys who like showing their social prowess by pointing out to women men in the bar who are geeky or losers or don't know what they're doing with girls. I used to do this when I was newer, too.
I started noticing though, that doing this seemed to turn women off a bit, whereas when I'd point out men who were clearly strong or attractive seeming, like, "See that guy? He knows what he's doing. He's a sexy guy; women dig him," it actually served to increase attraction (so long as most your interaction is still about you getting to know her, of course, and not you pointing out every other person in the bar and cold reading him).
I think why this is is a power dynamic; if you are able to identify a sexy, attractive man, then you must by extension be MORE sexy and attractive (otherwise, how could you recognize it, or be comfortable pointing it out?) - meanwhile, if you can only identify the losers, then you're only a bit above "loser."
Noticing strong men rather than weak ones also communicates that you focus on the positive rather than the negative, and your instincts are more attuned to looking for strong allies than weak men to bully.
To get your mind around it, imagine you're hanging out with two guys. Both seem cool at first. But one of them says to you, "Look at that guy trying to talk to that girl over there. Isn't that ridiculous? He has no idea what he's doing," while the other guy says, "Check out that guy over there... women LOVE him. He's clearly at the top of his game; he's a stallion." Which guy's cooler?
Of course, you've actually got to be able to point out men she'll agree are attractive men - if you point out guys she doesn't think are attractive, it sort of defeats the purpose.
Chase
There's the old PUA game (I think it's actually originally from the Howard Stern Show if I recall correctly) "Fuck, Marry, Kill" that tells a girl to point out three men in a bar: one she'd fuck, one she'd marry, and one she'd kill. This one's pretty well-balanced.
But I've seen a lot of other guys who like showing their social prowess by pointing out to women men in the bar who are geeky or losers or don't know what they're doing with girls. I used to do this when I was newer, too.
I started noticing though, that doing this seemed to turn women off a bit, whereas when I'd point out men who were clearly strong or attractive seeming, like, "See that guy? He knows what he's doing. He's a sexy guy; women dig him," it actually served to increase attraction (so long as most your interaction is still about you getting to know her, of course, and not you pointing out every other person in the bar and cold reading him).
I think why this is is a power dynamic; if you are able to identify a sexy, attractive man, then you must by extension be MORE sexy and attractive (otherwise, how could you recognize it, or be comfortable pointing it out?) - meanwhile, if you can only identify the losers, then you're only a bit above "loser."
Noticing strong men rather than weak ones also communicates that you focus on the positive rather than the negative, and your instincts are more attuned to looking for strong allies than weak men to bully.
To get your mind around it, imagine you're hanging out with two guys. Both seem cool at first. But one of them says to you, "Look at that guy trying to talk to that girl over there. Isn't that ridiculous? He has no idea what he's doing," while the other guy says, "Check out that guy over there... women LOVE him. He's clearly at the top of his game; he's a stallion." Which guy's cooler?
Of course, you've actually got to be able to point out men she'll agree are attractive men - if you point out guys she doesn't think are attractive, it sort of defeats the purpose.
Chase
