Why are people more hostile during nighttime?

[uForia]

Is it the lack of a sense of security or just when the politically correct nonsense goes out the window and reality sets in? I'm talking about when you are attending a party during the night vs. say attending a conference during the day. I'm talking about both guys and girls. I remember Colt WIlliams saying that it's when physical appearance is more important and I'll be honest that I'm Asian so already physically unattractive race there and I don't have big muscles either. I have taken a delay on meeting women until I graduate college, but it seems people really enjoy my presence in a corporate setting (At least during my internship last summer) or at least when you're not supposed to be 'having fun'. But then comes an environment when you're supposed to be cool and wear a backwards cap and a bro tank (You know what I'm talking about) and it seems everyone looks down on me and just naturally more hostile. Mind you this is in a college setting as I've been going out tonight since I had nothing else to do with no invitations to parties whatsoever, so I was just searching around and approaching both men and women asking them where they're going. And I was met with hostile responses and people just looking down at me, and I was wondering why the dynamic changes so much. I don't even look threatening at all.

 

[fsc]

a party during the night vs. say attending a conference during the day

I mean, they're two completely different environments. The typical, generally-accepted social behaviors that people follow vary depending on the setting. A conference during the day is formal and people expect a certain type of etiquette from others, whereas during a party people can either be really chill and fun or some guys can be competitive and some girls can employ massive bitch shields.

I remember Colt WIlliams saying that it's when physical appearance is more important

Yeah, physical appearance will help with first impressions and deter heckling from other guys, but GC has a few articles teaching what you can do if you aren't Zyzz.

I'll be honest that I'm Asian so already physically unattractive race there and I don't have big muscles either

Nah, don't think that way. At least don't categorize yourself into that group. I'm Korean and I have similar thoughts, but I don't put myself down; instead I'd be more like "a lot of Asians are pussies and scrawny, unfortunately, but I'm glad I'm improving myself out of that stereotype". Accept it, find ways to get out of it, then move on. Try to weed out any negative/unhealthy mindsets about yourself or anything.

Also, the cliche "it's not the size of the dog in the fight; it's the size of the fight in the dog" is generally true. I'm 5'7'' and cut, but I could never grow past 140lbs. Still, I've never had a terrible experience with other men (prolly because I mainly daygame). The few times I've ran into hecklers, I just ignored them or barely acknowledged them, and it worked. Just about an hour ago, a few frat guys were trying to start shit with me as I was walking by, but I just ignored them while walking slowly with my head up and back straight. They ended up looking like reeeal dumbasses and the girls they were with gave them shit for it. Sometimes, you may run into situations where you can't just ignore them. Your optimal response depends on the situation, but I tend to either leave or go overboard because it's so drastically different from my usual laid-back/calm demeanor. Last night, some guys from the same frat as tonight started shit with my friend (or my friend may have started it..I dunno, we were both drunk), and they were exchanging verbal insults (this is bad..it just fuels them). I just looked at them silently, picked up a paint scraper that happened to be nearby, then calmly and rhythmically started slashing at a wall which caused sparks to fly out. I was also looking at the wall the entire time so I prolly looked like a deranged lyncher. They all went back inside their frat house when my friend yelled "You MFers tryna die tonight?" Lulz

I have taken a delay on meeting women until I graduate college

No. Stupid idea. High school and college are the best times ever. Start now.

But then comes an environment when you're supposed to be cool and wear a backwards cap and a bro tank (You know what I'm talking about) and it seems everyone looks down on me and just naturally more hostile.

Hmm, maybe you're trying too hard? Maybe other guys see you as a threat in terms of sexual competition?

I was just searching around and approaching both men and women asking them where they're going. And I was met with hostile responses and people just looking down at me, and I was wondering why the dynamic changes so much. I don't even look threatening at all.

I'd probably be like "that way", pointing forward, and keep walking. My friend I mentioned above would probably tell you "We're going to your mom's pad, boy", especially if he's had a shot of alcohol or more. It's quite weird for a random stranger to ask people where they're going at night, especially if you don't attach it with a reason like "I'm new in town, and I don't know what's good around here". Even if you think you don't look threatening, girls still might. They've probably dealt with enough nice-looking guys who ended up being real needy and/or creepy, so their best reaction would be a defensive one that would discourage you from interacting with them any further. Even during daygaming, I've had problems disarming girls' guards because it's unusual for random people to approach you, and people don't know if you'll harm them or not (from a young age, we're taught not to take candy from strangers because there are bad bad people in the world, etc). Also I was working off of a scripted direct opener at the time, and I was tryna be like James Bond, so that attributed a lot to the not-so-warm receptions I got. So when the sun sets and it's darker out and there are less people around (less witnesses), people will just naturally have more guard up.

 

[Rusty]

I'm Asian so already physically unattractive race there

You have to rid yourself of this kind of negativity in your life. There is no such thing as an unattractive race, just an unattractive man. Whether you're attractive or not, you have to determine that for yourself. How you see yourself is going to influence how other people see you. If you have these kinds of negative thoughts floating in your head, it will reflect in your body language, when you interact with people (especially women), and you will self-sabotage yourself.

You have to learn to love yourself, and if you're not happy with yourself, then create reasons, find reasons, find things about yourself that you can be proud of, that you know are of value and establish your set of values and live by them. No one is going to create a sense of self for you. You have to go and create it, build it and maintain it. First thing you need to do is eradicate negative self talk. You need to be able to look yourself in the mirror and be able to say and believe "I'm a sexy motherfucker."

Note I didn't say handsome, or good-looking. I said sexy. Not all men are born with great facial bone structure, but you can be sexy. Work with what you have, but make the best of what you have.

If you don't love yourself, respect yourself, take care of yourself, what makes you think another person, let alone a beautiful woman is going to? That's right. You have to be the man, step up and own your self, own your image and don't apologize for what you are.

Stop the self-hate. I fucking hate hearing shit like this. I'm Korean/Mongolian. I don't apologize for my race. I call out fools who try to use the race card against me.

Guess what. Most people who try to tool me using race and Asian jokes are men. White men. Black men. Hispanic men. I've dealt with racist assholes before, and I never fucking back down or apologize for who I am. I'm proud of my heritage, I reject the notion that "Western looking" men are the standard of beauty and I've owned who I am and my cultural roots.

 

[uForia]

Thanks for your responses. During my freshman year I was terribly traumatized to find out I have much less social skills than I thought I did and wound up into depression easily when I couldn't make friends. Returning back to college has also returned some bad memories back. With that said, I did get over the fact that I'm Asian, it's just the general reality that Asian men aren't seen as the most attractive people on a really general basis and has nothing to do with me. I figured it was weird too, when I'm not a new person in college yet don't know where the parties are. Like I said, my depression caused me to drop out. With that said, I don't really know if there's much I can do to find new people at this point. Clubs don't typically attract the kind of people that get laid, and my parents aren't stupid about frats and will not let me join them. That's the barriers of entry that caused me to give up and just simply study my way into a great job and work on women after graduation. Still call that a mistake now?

 

[fsc]

I did get over the fact that I'm Asian, it's just the general reality that Asian men aren't seen as the most attractive people on a really general basis and has nothing to do with me.

Yes. What matters more is who YOU are, not where you're from or what men are generally like where you're from.

I don't really know if there's much I can do to find new people at this point.

Daygame/cold approach on the streets, stores, etc. If you're concerned about your level of social skills or reputation and fucking up, daygame outside of your school where it's less likely to run into schoolmates. Bars, meetup.com, Tinder, crossfit, etc are other options.

Clubs don't typically attract the kind of people that get laid, and my parents aren't stupid about frats and will not let me join them.

What a limiting belief...
- Volunteering club/organization generally attracts a bunch of females
- Ethnic-oriented groups have female members of the ethnicity
- Running (or other athletic) clubs have fit girls
There are obviously more, but in none of the three clubs above will girls think "Oh, he's in this club. He's not the kind of guy who gets laid". Similar to what I said above, who you are matters more than what you're affiliated with. You can totally be that badass motherF in your Japanese club or Chinese club or Korean club

People seem to have this view of "Oh, if you wanna get laid in college, you gotta be in a frat". That is total bullshit. I've had cases where things went well with a girl knowing that I was in a frat, and I've had cases where things went sour because I was in a frat. There are ups and downs to being in a frat. You can party every week and have easy access (there are girls who are like "I only fuck guys from ABC frat, no joke), but then you sometimes gotta deal with cockblocking from the girl's sisters (if the girl's in a sorority) or the rape culture (if the girl isn't in a sorority and has only been exposed to negative portrayals of frats in the media, but this isn't too bad), etc. Overall, being in a frat helps, but membership is not an absolute must. Again, who you are matters more than your affiliation.

This is called a game because it kinda is like one. The bottom line is that you CAN get laid without frats, without social skills, without fundamentals, etc. You really can. It just depends on the sexual market and luck, I guess, and it'll be like you're playing on the highest difficulty setting. Things like having good fundamentals, having an abundance mentality, being in a frat, etc are like having a power-up. Each will help make playing the game easier, but it's not like it'll guarantee that you'll get laid. I suppose you can also buy yourself an escort or a mail-order bride or whatever, and I guess that'd be like using a cheat code.

Still call that a mistake now?

Huuuuuge fucking mistake. If you were to proceed with your plans and start practicing pickup after you graduate, I guarantee you'll be smacking yourself in the head saying "damn it, why didn't I start sooner?" College is such a great time for so many reasons, but I'm too lazy to elaborate myself. Bottom line is, you really want to start right now. Trust me. Ask everyone else, and they'll agree.

Now that I think about it, I actually held a similar belief in high school: "I'm gonna get into ABC university, get into DEF for grad school, work for XYZ, buy an Aston Martin, THEN I will find me a hot wife". Then I actually got into ABC university and realized how many hotties I'm passing up. So I joined a frat, but I quickly realized how absolutely socially retarded I was. There I was at my first legit party ever, a junior, standing all awkward and nervous in front of freshmen girls and not knowing what to do. It's not a pleasant feeling to feel "behind" when people expect/assume you to be at a certain level based on your age. So fully utilize your college years to screw up, learn, and improve yourself.

Also, don't limit yourself. There are people who see a wall and say "Damn, there's wall. I guess it can't be done because this wall tells me this and that" and turn around and give up, and there are people who see a wall and say "Damn, there's a wall. I guess it can't be done THAT way...hmm how do I get past this wall?" and they try to climb it, break it, go around it, dig under it, etc. In seduction and in life in general, you just gotta be able to navigate past obstacles. Your parents prevent you from joining a frat? Well, then you don't have to join one. Just rush a bunch of frats, meet its brothers, and maybe you'll vibe with some of them well enough that they invite you to their parties regardless of the fact that you declined/postponed your bid. I dunno man. I'm an engineer. Whenever something hinders me from doing what I want, I see it as a problem, and I search for solutions. Hopefully you can apply that type of mentality to some of the things that are hindering your life.

 

[Bboy100]

Are they people you know? If not...there's the reason. When you're cold approaching, you're not yet considered part of their "Ingroup" as its called in Psychology. In other words, they don't consider you one of them. This goes back to the tribal era when people are either a part of your tribe or they're not. And if they're not, they consider you a threat.

Anyways, the simpler answer is, its because they have no incentive to be nice to you and they're programmed socially and biologically to be more guarded around strangers. At work, this is not the case. At work, you're a part of their "tribe" just by virtue of being an intern there.

 

[uForia]

Considering I'm studying Computer Engineering, I guess I'll make a very bad engineer. Jokes aside, since you all said college is the time to meet women while they're curious, I have been panicking a little bit and did approach women with openers like "Hey, can I sit here for lunch today?". We talk but I can't seem to keep the conversation going ever since I lost interest in so many things (depression symptoms I guess) that we can't find a topic to connect together on. That leads to both of us continuing what we were doing (eating lunch, studying, etc.) without talking to each other and then me either getting the phone number but failing to get a date/response afterwards or asking the girl out right there and her going like "maybe" then walking away.

I mean all I literally do is study (Which this alone takes up 70+ hours a week easily) and read financial market news and bet on ETFs with my brokerage account once I find an opportunity (Which rarely ever happens tbh, I mean I bet against China the past few months, made a lot of money, and I'm now betting on Greece rising again, just 3 trades!). I guess you can call that a hobby, but again it's something the girls I talk to have no interest on. I simply have the belief that I have to get rich or I don't have a chance to be happy in life. People say money doesn't buy happiness, but it does buy you power, financial independence and thus freedom, status, women to a certain extent, and makes everything else easier to accomplish (Like muscles with personal training, stylists, GirlsChase coaching, etc), which I would consider crucial to my happiness. I type this tonight with much sadness to realize how unattractive I truly am when I look at myself in the mirror. The sadness and emotional void is too apparent in my face, and I see a young guy who has preemptively sold his soul just for the sake of models and bottles without even getting it.

With that aside, I noticed what you said about the "sexual market and luck", and considering how I look at everything in an economic light, it rings true to me. I previously blamed, for the past years in college, the sexual market for my lack of luck. There's usually around only 25 freshman girls that are remotely attractive for me in our school where the ratio of males to females is like 55-60:40-45. Whereas on the guy side, the guys aren't known to be attractive either but there are quite some that are definitely better than me, so I guess you can call this a mini-San Francisco with even fewer attractive girls (And they know it and capitalize on it ruthlessly). I guess both my environment and I are at fault, but at this point I'd rather work on myself than try to grab a woman. Still call that a mistake?

Edit: Forgot to mention during my time here in college, I did talk/approach ~20 girls during the daytime and like ~80+ at nighttime venues in some form or another. The furthest I've gotten is just kissing girls at nighttime venues, and I have never scored a single date.

 

[Rusty]

Sounds like you're quite the intellectual.

Unless you're running into women who want to discuss high level economics theory and their stock portfolio... you need to expand your interests and your field of vision, so to speak. That is how you become more relatable to women.

Now, it's totally fine to be into what you're into (engineering, stocks, etc.). But as conversation topics go, most women won't be able to relate to that, and unless they want to learn about those things, it's not something she'll be interested in talking about.

One of the positives you have going for you is that you have ambition. That's an attractive trait. But make sure you're pursuing what you're pursuing for the right reasons. If you're truly passionate about what you're doing, and you have that drive to be successful, keep that fire alive. But don't do it for the sake of impressing anyone or in order to get girls or any other external reason.

Sure, it's impossible to separate those desires from your internal drive, but at the same time, those external desires should never be your primary driving force. Do it for you, do it because you embrace challenges and goals and working on a mission. That's at the heart of a masculine core; it's when we relentlessly pursue our goals and challenge ourselves.

Take it easy. Meeting women is not work. It's supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be lighthearted as well. Sometimes being an intense, serious badass can work with women, but for now, you should work on becoming more easygoing. It sounds like you're very high strung and way too serious. You probably come off very mechanical and dry, as is common with highly intellectual men who have intense interests and their brains work at a high level.

Relax around women. Keep it light. Develop an easygoing attitude and a sense of humor. Be able to laugh at yourself. Don't take yourself too seriously. Lighten up. Smile. Laugh. You're still young, and you have time. Use that focus on becoming a well-rounded person.

You don't have to become Mr. Happy-go-lucky with a smile slapped on his face all the time, but you do need to become more laidback and disarming.

Change your mindset and be more open-minded. Dating is not this ultra-serious, logical strategic game where you have to be calculating and planning every single move. It needs to become intuitive and fluid, and you'll make the process easier for yourself if you slow down, enjoy yourself and have fun with it. Meet girls with no outcome, but push the interaction, focus on 1 or 2 goals (smooth transitioning, setting up dates, escalation, conversation threading, deep diving, etc.) and keep working on each one.

It's actually better to "work" on yourself and continue to socialize and meet women at the same time. It'll help you progress faster and the experience will accelerate your development. The women you meet can give you indirect feedback as a byproduct of you meeting them, giving you an idea about how to improve your conversational skills, your ability to connect, your body language, your facial expressions, etc.