Why does the lover strategy work?

[Synthesis]

Been doing a lot of research and reading articles on this website and many of the articles emphasize being the lover over the provider. While the nuts and bolts on how to be a lover is clear, what's less clear is why the strategy works in the first place. If we are to believe in evolutionary psychology, the fundamental exchange between men and women are provisioning and protection in exchange for sex and offsprings. The outgrowth of that assumption is that women would want someone to be able and willing to reliably provide provisions/ protections for herself and her children, and every mating cue is a derivative of those traits.

What I assume being the lover is, according to this website, is exchanging good genetic material and/or good emotions for sex. But why would women risk having sex with the lover if she knew there's little to no chance that he'd be willing or able to provide any physical resources or protection? The only payoff the woman could potentially get is to deceive a provider into raising the lover's child so she'd have the best of both worlds if she cannot find someone with both lover and provider traits in one, but even then it's a massive risk if the provider finds out. (In a historical context, not modern day where women also have the option to provide for themselves)

Please let me know if I'm correct in this line of thinking. I've seen the lover strategy work but I'm just curious as to why women would entertain it in the first place. Also can the strategy really just be boiled down to exchanging good genes/ emotions for sex?

 

[Skills]

Date Plans - The lover provider balance keep it ambiguous - troubleshooting

So guys i get many pms, and i see posts about lover provider a lot, people misunderstand the whole thing, this is one of the topics people don't get due to nuances. Ok the lover provider stuff has been discussed to death, and yes it is important, super important..... But as always there are...

www.skilledseducer.com

 

[Will_V]

Been doing a lot of research and reading articles on this website and many of the articles emphasize being the lover over the provider. While the nuts and bolts on how to be a lover is clear, what's less clear is why the strategy works in the first place. If we are to believe in evolutionary psychology, the fundamental exchange between men and women are provisioning and protection in exchange for sex and offsprings. The outgrowth of that assumption is that women would want someone to be able and willing to reliably provide provisions/ protections for herself and her children, and every mating cue is a derivative of those traits.

What I assume being the lover is, according to this website, is exchanging good genetic material and/or good emotions for sex. But why would women risk having sex with the lover if she knew there's little to no chance that he'd be willing or able to provide any physical resources or protection? The only payoff the woman could potentially get is to deceive a provider into raising the lover's child so she'd have the best of both worlds if she cannot find someone with both lover and provider traits in one, but even then it's a massive risk if the provider finds out. (In a historical context, not modern day where women also have the option to provide for themselves)

Please let me know if I'm correct in this line of thinking. I've seen the lover strategy work but I'm just curious as to why women would entertain it in the first place. Also can the strategy really just be boiled down to exchanging good genes/ emotions for sex?

Good emotions, good orgasms, and good genes.

Another thing that is very often missed in the popular commentary on sexual economics is that women, just like men, enjoy feeling sexually powerful. Strange as it may seem, there are very few opportunities in the typical life of any woman to experience being desired by an attractive male for her sexuality alone, and fully expressing it with him. An attractive girl is always the subject of male desire, but it is always more or less an illusory desire, a fantasy, that tries to force her to become some bounded, captured ideal that she's not.

A lover, on the other hand, sees a woman's sexuality as the untamed beast that it is - just like his own. And in doing so, he validates her sexual essence, and makes her feel sexually powerful in ways that she can't experience with other men. With a lover, a woman can completely submerge into her sexuality, and fully express it, synchronize to it, and draw pleasure and energy from it, without fear of reproach.

Both men and women are born with powerful drives and desires that they almost immediately learn to repress, because society punishes them for expressing them openly. Because most relationships operate primarily in the social environment - they are social contracts, they are socially regulated by friends/family, their rewards are things like social status and social acceptance, and their primary concerns are stability and longevity - they provide little if any opportunity to express something as uncouth as sexuality. Even during sex.

Keeping sexuality locked away comes with huge costs - frustration, disconnection with self, a sense of internal weakness, inability to enjoy the moment-to-moment experience of life, etc. This is because both a man's and a woman's sexuality is connected to their libido, which is something of an abstract 'life force' that is the primary source of motivational energy and internal fortitude. There is virtually nothing in life that comes close to being as glorious as the feeling of unlocking it, which is why both men and women will take insane risks - such as losing a family and a career - to do so, even just for a few moments.

 

[topcat]

Also, being the lover presupposes preselection. A lover is a man who is selected by women repeatedly. Him being good as a lover, good in the ways of a woman's mind and body, suggests he has experience with women. Experience gained because women have given him their sexual 'vote' many times over.

The good lover is the product with a five star rating, and thousands of reviews.

The provider - mixed reviews & he throws in a free drink, massage and therapy session to sweeten the deal..

Which one you buyin'?