- Joined
- Jun 16, 2013
- Messages
- 1,897
So this cute country bumpkin girl that I went on a date with about a week ago has been on my mind ever since the date. Like toooo much!
What I've noticed is that my thoughts have been going back over and replaying the mental video of the highlights of our date as well as potential future interactions with her.
I know it's not good to invest heavily prior to sex and for all I know she may not have thought much of me since the date, making me more invested than her which wouldn't be good for either of us. The problem is my emotions seem to keep putting me on track to thinking about a future with Mrs. Country Bumpkin :/.
Apparently my brain wants me to settle down so I can reproduce and carry my genes on since it apparently deems this girl (who I barely know) good material and fit to bear children with. My logic brain is telling me to hold my horses since nothing is promised and we know the painful consequences of over investing (one of the reasons I found GC in the first place lol).
So this brings me to my cure for investing prior to having sex with a girl. It's working for me so far and perhaps someone could benefit as well.
For starters you don't want to invest too much and down the road have things go awry due to you botching something up or uncontrollable factors. If that happens then you have this feeling of loss, self pity, and you'll be beating yourself up for doing/not doing whatever it was that made you lose her.
The cure is realizing that your investment is actually harming you and is bad for your mental wellbeing. Kind of like eating fast food... you know it tastes good now but down the road if you keep eating it you're arteries clog and you keel the fuck over.
You have to bring the consequences of investing into a girl, prior to getting to know her, into the forefront of your thoughts to make it outweigh the fun of thinking about future interactions with her and how awesome its going to be.
This is fairly easy to do you just realize the potential consequences that you will face if you keep investing.
Probably the biggest and scariest consequence to investing prior to fully knowing a girl is the fact that it will cause you to be blind to her imperfections... some of which could be horrendous to your mental and spiritual health if you were to get into a relationship with her.
For example, if she's a cluster B woman and you overinvest prior to sex, then once you have sex try and have a relationship you might overlook the fact that she has signs of loving you one second and hating you the next, and you're so invested you let it slide. Down the road you've spent so much time around her that you actually believe you're some crazy bipolar psycho. BOOM! Your life just flipped upside down and it could have been easily prevented by not investing too much.
Now I've never been in a relationship so this might not even be an accurate example (though I think it is). Though it's extreme it's also plausible and quite a motivating reason to emotionally influence your brain to not want to invest. "AHH! My happiness and esteem could be sucked out the window!" your brain will start thinking.
Another thing to think about is that by overinvesting you will be less likely to move fast due to the fact that you don't want to mess things up.
This is a paradox and a self fulfilling prophecy if not handled. By not caring much either way (being outcome independent) you're more likely to get the girl (and have her invest more because of it). On the other hand if you overinvest and play it safe (due to wanting things to go a certain way) you're more likely to move slow and get slotted into friendzone/BF territory, most likely to never end up getting with her.
These two reasons are huge for your investment prior to taking her to bed.
Don't overinvest and get thinking about "one" girl.
To avoid this be sure to continue meeting more women and also link investing with pain emotionally so that you won't end up in this predicament. Know that by investing now you might just be shooting yourself in the foot (or face) for later down the road. Don't ever let your happiness become dependent on one girl, no matter how awesome a couple you think you'll be.
Good day Gents.
-Rob
What I've noticed is that my thoughts have been going back over and replaying the mental video of the highlights of our date as well as potential future interactions with her.
I know it's not good to invest heavily prior to sex and for all I know she may not have thought much of me since the date, making me more invested than her which wouldn't be good for either of us. The problem is my emotions seem to keep putting me on track to thinking about a future with Mrs. Country Bumpkin :/.
Apparently my brain wants me to settle down so I can reproduce and carry my genes on since it apparently deems this girl (who I barely know) good material and fit to bear children with. My logic brain is telling me to hold my horses since nothing is promised and we know the painful consequences of over investing (one of the reasons I found GC in the first place lol).
So this brings me to my cure for investing prior to having sex with a girl. It's working for me so far and perhaps someone could benefit as well.
For starters you don't want to invest too much and down the road have things go awry due to you botching something up or uncontrollable factors. If that happens then you have this feeling of loss, self pity, and you'll be beating yourself up for doing/not doing whatever it was that made you lose her.
The cure is realizing that your investment is actually harming you and is bad for your mental wellbeing. Kind of like eating fast food... you know it tastes good now but down the road if you keep eating it you're arteries clog and you keel the fuck over.
You have to bring the consequences of investing into a girl, prior to getting to know her, into the forefront of your thoughts to make it outweigh the fun of thinking about future interactions with her and how awesome its going to be.
This is fairly easy to do you just realize the potential consequences that you will face if you keep investing.
Probably the biggest and scariest consequence to investing prior to fully knowing a girl is the fact that it will cause you to be blind to her imperfections... some of which could be horrendous to your mental and spiritual health if you were to get into a relationship with her.
For example, if she's a cluster B woman and you overinvest prior to sex, then once you have sex try and have a relationship you might overlook the fact that she has signs of loving you one second and hating you the next, and you're so invested you let it slide. Down the road you've spent so much time around her that you actually believe you're some crazy bipolar psycho. BOOM! Your life just flipped upside down and it could have been easily prevented by not investing too much.
Now I've never been in a relationship so this might not even be an accurate example (though I think it is). Though it's extreme it's also plausible and quite a motivating reason to emotionally influence your brain to not want to invest. "AHH! My happiness and esteem could be sucked out the window!" your brain will start thinking.
Another thing to think about is that by overinvesting you will be less likely to move fast due to the fact that you don't want to mess things up.
This is a paradox and a self fulfilling prophecy if not handled. By not caring much either way (being outcome independent) you're more likely to get the girl (and have her invest more because of it). On the other hand if you overinvest and play it safe (due to wanting things to go a certain way) you're more likely to move slow and get slotted into friendzone/BF territory, most likely to never end up getting with her.
These two reasons are huge for your investment prior to taking her to bed.
Don't overinvest and get thinking about "one" girl.
To avoid this be sure to continue meeting more women and also link investing with pain emotionally so that you won't end up in this predicament. Know that by investing now you might just be shooting yourself in the foot (or face) for later down the road. Don't ever let your happiness become dependent on one girl, no matter how awesome a couple you think you'll be.
Good day Gents.
-Rob
