Why Little Mistakes Lead to Rejection

[Godsninja]

The question is literally in the title. I've been reading chases articles, doing my research, and in no other words, working smart!
I've also been doing cold approaches as often as possible, and I've realized I'm no longer as nervous as I used to be, and instead it's the women that get a little nervous.
I know that most guys plain and simply DO NOT do cold approaches, and if/when they do, are pretty lame at it.

Now... I can't say I'm great, but I sure as shit know the basics. I make little mistakes here and there, the kind that I think happen because I'm in the moment, enjoying myself with this girl. I always realized afterwards would I could have done better... and the truth is, I for some reason have really high standards for myself, but these mistakes are small.

Yet women decide to themselves they don't want to see me anymore.

Is it because of these little mistakes, or am I still a complete and utter newbie (I don't feel like it......)
Like I don't know what kind of example I can give, they seem extremely irrelevant to me:

- A girl didn't have a number of her phone yet, and I asked for her home number, she insisted I gave her mine instead, and I did, then I realized that's not what she wanted, and get her my cell instead.
- I texted another girl to call me, she said she would try to remember, told her not to forget, she did, I called her a few days later, no answer, no text follow up, haven't txted her since. Can tell she liked me in person and on the first phone call, apparently not?
- Got a girls number at the gym and a date set up (she asked me if I wanted her number), txted her sayin lovely to meet u, blah blah, said she should be studying too but was at a friends place instead, I said bad girl, someone outta put u in your place ; ), no txt back

I think I'm just a little rejection sensitive due being romantically rejected so often, and because of how I was bullied on and off in middle school and high school.

Nevertheless, this is usually what happens and am confused... like I want to fuck a chick so bad, I've been withdrawing from PMO (porn addiction, etc), which may sound stupid, but it's a real fuckin thing. I'm on like day 20, I got so much built inside me, the next chick I get in bed, I swear her brains going to release so many pleasure chemicals shes not going to be able to speak for a day.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

WHAT THE FUCK!

Why do girls interpret little fucking mistakes for the entire personality of an individual, it blows my fucking mind!

 

[Godsninja]

Also it's important to note that I have exams next week, so I DEFINITELY have something I need to and must focus my energy on, but as we all know, sexual energy is one of the most POWERFUL energy's in the human brain. And such a *release* can help people cope with stress induced by exams.

 

[Franco]

GN,

Why do girls interpret little fucking mistakes for the entire personality of an individual, it blows my fucking mind!

Remember, for girls, it's never a "logical" reason why she isn't responding or following through with what she said previously. It's not like you make one mistake and she goes, "well, that was a big mistake! Time to cut him loose!" It's more likely she'll look at a text and not "feel" the right emotion she wants from it in order to move things forward. You might want to make sure that what you are texting is also congruent with who you are in person. For example, in your last text:

bad girl, someone outta put u in your place ; )

If that wasn't the way you were talking to her when you met her, then it's going to come out of nowhere and make her feel weird emotionally, and if she is anything less than excited or lustful of you when it comes time to respond to you, she may just not respond at all because she doesn't feel as excited about you as she might have been before.

Nevertheless, this is usually what happens and am confused... like I want to fuck a chick so bad, I've been withdrawing from PMO (porn addiction, etc), which may sound stupid, but it's a real fuckin thing. I'm on like day 20, I got so much built inside me, the next chick I get in bed, I swear her brains going to release so many pleasure chemicals shes not going to be able to speak for a day.

You might want to consider less of a "cold turkey" approach toward getting off of a porn addiction. For example, you could set a limit and say, "I will only masturbate once every (7 to 14) days." That way you will still get the release and be able to focus, but you'll also be exercising self-control. Eventually, when you start having sex with women, you'll find that you just won't really need to be masturbating at all (or extremely infrequently).

- Franco

 

[Godsninja]

Thanks for the info Franco. I'll pay attention to my congruency and in the meantime will try to keep texts only for setting up dates.

As for the limit on masturbation, I'll have to keep it as is because it doesn't really work that way. The addiction itself isn't in that much of a late stage, but my brain is definitely used to virtual girls and not real ones. I have to re-wire my brain the hard way. If I lay a lady midway through my reboot, then I'll allow myself natural masturbation, but pornography is an unnatural stimulus that I plan to avoid for the rest of my life.

Thanks for the reply.

 

[Godsninja]

Actually, NO, I still don't get it Franco. I really really don't. When I talked to this girl in person, I wasn't all friendly and shit. This girl liked me, and I liked her.

I don't believe that A TEXT can break attraction like it did in this situation. The girl liked me, and she read a text saying "baaaad girl!" followed by "someone outta put u in ur place ; )" so, now she DOESNT like me. Bam, attraction broken.

How in this world can that make sense? I'll answer that. IT DOESNT. If a girl texted me saying something like that, I wouldn't for a SECOND think about disqualifying her the way this girl did to me. I sent her a text right after my response to you, "do you still want to meet up?" to see for sure. And she didn't respond, and she won't respond, because you were right, and she isn't at all excited about me anymore...

But still, what the fuck? Where is the reasoning? There isn't any reason. It's to fuck with my mind, because I'm some sort of experiment in a matrix.

I was looking into that the other day, and it really blew my mind... like, how could everything be a simulation? We've sent things into space and gotten answers back, this, that, etc. But I've never gotten anything my entire life... BUT rejection.

Now, she may not feel attraction for me anymore, but how she went from being attracted, to not being attracted, doesn't really make sense. I honestly....honestly... don't believe I am living a real, physical life. I...honestly...believe this is all an experiment...that non of you are real... and that the purpose of this experiment is to test, and see, how far a man... or whatever the fuck I am, can go with constant, non-stop rejection, for his entire life, before breaking.

I have not seen any proof contrary to this. I may have been accepted for a little while, only to be rejected after a couple weeks. It's still the same thing, and I can see the consistency. Either you end this experiment, and tell me the truth, or I will.

You have till Canada Day to give me an answer. That is my 90 day mark.

I'm not playing the fuck around, I know you know EXACTLY what the fuck I am talking about.

Peace

 

[Franco]

But still, what the fuck? Where is the reasoning? There isn't any reason. It's to fuck with my mind, because I'm some sort of experiment in a matrix.

It's something you really don't understand until you actually have abundance yourself, which attractive women have by default. Unfortunately for us guys, we need to develop ourselves into guys who achieve abundance, which is something that is actually very difficult to achieve and requires a great amount of determination and mental fortitude.

However, there are many downsides to being a female because of the way they have to protect their reputation in society, but luckily for them, WORKING to achieve abundance is NOT one of them. They have guys hitting them up constantly all the time, so sometimes it may not even be a matter of you doing something wrong but rather SHE might actually have a guy she's even more interested in, and it's possible she feels like it might be going somewhere. Thus, you have become an "option" in a series of other guys lining up for her attention, so until she reaches your name (if she ever does), you are in the line.

This is obviously why you never want to "wait in line" for any one girl. Instead, it's much better to go out and put yourself on a million girls' lists because, obviously, your name is much more likely to be called! And when you get better at seduction (including rock-solid fundamentals, vibe, and execution), you tend to find your name at the TOP of the list much more often than you do anywhere else. This is when girls will constantly be hitting YOU up to try to get your attention.

To try to get a glimpse of what things are like from my perspective (or someone like NarrowJ's perspective) who has an "abundance" mentality, imagine if that girl hit YOU up to set up a date. And just before you decided to text her back and set it up because you thought she was cute, that super hot girl you met the other night who you were practically fantasizing about ripping her clothes off and fucking her like a wild animal decided to text you back after you had sent her a text almost 48 hours ago. Suddenly you say to yourself about the cute girl, "well shit, this cute girl can WAIT! Time to set something up with THIS hot girl!"

...and suddenly you forget to text the cute girl back because you already have another girl you want to meet up with.

It's not always the case that a girl doesn't get back to you because she has another guy in her sights, but the fact that she suddenly can have another guy around her when she wants to can very easily affect the equation. Likewise, she can drop guys off the radar just as easily if she suddenly feels like they aren't what she thought they were. This is part of the reason it's important to be completely congruent -- even if a girl "liked" you in person, if you weren't sexual with her in person, then she might react differently if you try to act in a sexual way over text, especially if you don't do it in a way that is suave or subtle and builds up momentum toward sexual chatter.

- Franco

 

[Godsninja]

Ok... How am I suppose to be sexual with her while in public? In this particular circumstance, she was on the exercise bike ahaha.

Because obviously, I got it all wrong. I like(d) this girl for who she is, as a person, and maybe even as a girlfriend (I don't know her, but very possibly), but I want it to be sexual asap. I don't just want sex, and I don't just want a relationship. I want both (depends of-course ;]). How can I even be sexual right from the get-go, without screening out girls who are also shy/polite/conservative/etc.?

Like I understand the importance of screening, but is there a balance in there? How can you be sexual...but not scare away girls who want to be seen as... you know...not easy? Not even "not easy" just girls who want to keep their appearance really... (which, I have to admit, empathize with more than I probably should)

I don't even know if I'm asking this right.

 

[Escher]

Little mistakes lead to knowledge.


I would say I am an intermidiate at picking up women. I am not master but I have come a long way. Recently I feel that I have been learning more than ever. And yes I agree that it can be frustrating. It is natural to want results as soon as possible. Some people may learn the skill faster than others. It is important to just trust your own pace of learning and keep going. I have expirienced tons of rejection and there are times when I throw my hands up and swear I will become a monk. But each rejection also pushes me to work harder. To figure out what I am doing. I learn something from each rejection and grow from it. And over time, each small step at a time, I see results in one area, then results in another, bigger picture things start to make sense, and now I am working on next level aspects of seduction. Not a master but have certainly upgraded. And it all comes from hard work and being willing to make those mistakes, and the next time try something different and make new mistakes and keep pushing myself.


The day I got over my approach anxiety was during a day when I was not feeling well. It was also a day when I expirineced a rejection the really stung. It was with a girl I kept trying to get a date with, built it up in my head, finaly got a date, and she canceled. I was bummed. It had been a while since I felt bummed like this when a girl canceled. The moment I got of work I went to the mall and number closed three woman within a half an hour. Granted only one actualy turned into a date. Ever since that day I can basicaly walk up to any women with no anxiety. I might fumble through the interaction, or might go smooth, but I can at least walk right up and see what happens. It was because of being rejected that I was pushed to go out. I had to do it. I was not going to let one little rejection get me down. I was grumpy and sick and charming as fuck.

It is often at our most frusted moments, if we just take one or two or three more steps, that we hit the next plateu. I still make tons of mistakes, I still get frustrated, and I still strive for what I know is possible through hard work.

Just saying hang in there homie.

 

[Flames]

I'd say the biggest mistake people make is not realising when they made a mistake and thinking something was a mistake when in actual fact it was part of a learning process.

I make mistakes all the time, but I make/made that many I've learnt how to reverse them. So my suggestion is to go out make a shit load if mistakes and have a good time doing it.

 

[Godsninja]

Ok thanks... I am still trying to figure this out though so I can LEARN from it. It really hurts me, and I just can't wrap my mind around it... hopefully a friend of mine will meet up today and explain this from a girls perspective. I still find it incredibly unbelievable, I really want to understand it, and I'll always be willing and open to answers/suggestions/advice, but this is just...another level of mind-fuck that I didn't think even existed. This really knocked me down from where I thought I was with women, and for the first time ever, I'm actually thinking about doing some fucked up things to a women..THIS women, and it's a strong, logical, reasoned feeling, like it's the right thing to do, to someone like her.

Fuck...

 

[Escher]

You are playing the victim here. This woman has nothing to wrong you. She simply decided she was not that interested in you. She has every right to make this decision. The same way you have the right to make the decision who you want to hang out with. Have you ever met some one you did not want to hang out with? She does not owe you a thing. If you are not doing well with women it is not thier fault. It just means you have to work on getting better. Rather than being frustrated with the world for your rejection be frustrated with yourself for messing up. But don't let it get you down, use that frustrated energy withyourself as fuel for the fire to get better.

Take this as an opportunity for self examination. Why are you reacting this strongly? What sort of mentalities are behind your reaction? Why have you invested so much in one single women you barely know? How could you have maybe done more to build the attraction?

Often times it is easy for someone to put most of thier self worth in how a member of the opposite sex views them. Do you ahve other aspects of your life on lock down? Are you actively pursuing your pasisons? Do you have a solid social circle? Are you eating healthy and staying fit? Are you finding joy in other things than women? It is important to build a strong emotional core in yourself. Be solid in who you are be not let your emotional fluctions take you on a wild ride. Have you tried meditating semi regularly?

These thigns take time, Chase approached over a thousand women within a year. That is a lot of hard work. You are not going to get results unless you really push yourself.

You say you feel like you are part of an expiriment. Well why not be the one expirimenting. Approach this as a fun game, not something you have to see instant results. Have an exploratory frame of mind. expiriment, see what works and what does not. You are a scientist in the labratory. You are not attached to the out come, you are simply seeing what happens. Picking up girls is supposed to be fun, not some harrowing expirience.

Your friend may be able to explain these things to you but remember, be weary of the advice women give you about getting women. It is usualy way off.

Also to give some insight on your question about how to be sexual in public. It is not about actualy being straight up sexual. It is about having a sexual vibe. The means making subtle sexual innuendos and being touchy. Have strong eye contact. Letting her know your intentions in a subtle way. It is not about being blatant like "I am going to fuck you right here" (although, get good enough with women and this might work on some) it is about implying that you want to fuck. Also being a dominant man who leads the interaction. If you get all of these elements right, even shy or conservitive girls will be hot for you. You just have to learn to adjust your dial accordingly. If she is shy, you slowly build the tension in a way she does not notice. It is a way slowly making her feel comfortable to show her sexual side. You have to gauge with each woman.
Having a sexual vibe is something I am working on right now. I am already a very sexual person it is just a matter of finding out how to convey that in an appealing way. It takes trial and error. It means being willing to take risks. At first my dial was set to low so I had to step outside of my comfortzone and dial it up a ton. You have to take risks and see what you can get away with. Then you start to learn that most women love a sexual man. Then love a man that can recognize her sexuality in a way that makes her feel comfortable and open. Not in a way where she thinks he is trying to get sex from her, but in a way where she can just be herself. It means being cool and comfortable with your sexuality. Not in an over bearing sort of way like "hey every one look at how sexual i am" but in a subtle way like "yea i am a sexual being and I don't have to hide it". This makes her feel like "Oh he is comfortable with his sexuality, there is nothing wrong with being a sexual being maybe I can show that side of myself as well"

I hope any of this helps

 

[Godsninja]

Ya your definitely right about a lot of things. My friend didn't meeting up with me but oh well, talked with a buddy after my exam and it added some perspective.

I also realized after re-reading chases conversationalist article that I was wayyy too down and not on the positive side. I was being too judgmental too. And the victim mentality thing you mentioned is right too. It's crazy how much my moods been fluctuating, I don't know if it's the withdrawal or what, but this is nuts! (I don't want to kill the girl anymore, she can live her shitty life without me, I'm fine with that, too each their own right)

About the sexual vibe, I have an idea of what your talking about, and I really want to start dialing it up. I think that's where a lot of my problems are because I thought I had it dialed up, but that's probably where my inconsistency is. I think that sort of proves that girls nowadays are really sexual beings, right? Since subtle sexual vibes barely even register, they must be freaky as shit, or something? lol

That must be why being a sexual man is difficult. It's probably one of the very fine lines that can be extremely difficult to master, because who wants to be that creepy guy right?

Anyways, thanks all!

 

[Godsninja]

So I ran into that chick at the gym again, and she ended up having a boyfriend, and I'm glad!

She wants to be friends, and I'm cool with that.

This post got a bit too micro managed, but I guess the answer to my question is something along the lines of continuously and consistently work on self improvement to be able to see the congruency match from within yourself, to outside of yourself. Times can get tougher than you can ever imagine, but that comes with the art and we have to be tough.

I'm thinking about starting meditation but I'm not sure if it's for me. I can lye down for a little while to cool my mind and body off, for say, 5 or 10 minutes, which I think is sort of similar, but every time I try to fit real meditation in my schedule it never seems to make it. Actually, since I have only 1 exam left, I might as well give er a go right now.

Peace!