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Why nobody wants you to be successful?

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Rage

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Oct 23, 2013
Messages
473
People want to be around people who are like them.

For most, if you look too big do too much aspire to be much more go too far etc. you make them look small by comparison.

Some can learn and be inspired by your example, and go on to follow and do bigger things in their own lives. Others can click their tongues think you're an obsessed idiot, or an over achiever or just weird and irritating and not want to be around your type (rresenting your successes maybe, but also who you are after you have achieved them). Then there are further others who will go to lengths to denigrate you and make you fall hard make you fail and lose after your successes.

The third crowd especially does what they do not so much out of hatred and deep seated resentment towards you but I suspect in large part because of dissatsifaction with themselves. What they see in you is what they could become, catching glimpses of it in what you do, something that in their own mind preludes to them and what they could be.

Man doesn't forget the dreams that he gave up on and let go of. They just become "realists" (instead of actually forgetting) and begin telling themselves stories of why what they thought before was naive foolish and unreasonable/not possible or grounded in practicality. You come along and prove it wrong by saying nothing doing nothing but just being you in who you are and what all you have done has led you to become in character and you become living proof that sort of spites them just as you are there, spites them saying "he's not different from you not much at all; could've been you , what if you had gone for that shot that risk that opportunity that dream what if what if what if".

For the folks who that's the case it hurts them on a visceral level.

Other folks just don't understand the fixer type but could learn and maybe gain something constructive from what they learn in seeing you. Stick around the people that bring you up and that are doing big things themselves, that are positive and have goals and want to have some small impact on the world. And avoid the people that keep you from that and actively work to be against that.

Tough world; but even the darkest of folk pwrhaps have some potential and hope for themselves. Perhaps somewhere within them they even believe that.
 

Man-O

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 16, 2014
Messages
182
Gem said:
Stick around the people that bring you up and that are doing big things themselves, that are positive and have goals and want to have some small impact on the world. And avoid the people that keep you from that and actively work to be against that.

I've been seeing a lot of ppl type this here but rly. It's very difficult finding people who you can stick with that are contructive. They're so few in demand and if you find one with just a bit of mindset they don't really have goals but just try to make everyone happy. Could also be the opposite with one who has goals but a douche or keeping ppl at a distance, which is just as common, though not as much as the shy ppl holding you down. You'd end up with no friends.

What I've found best for me is to compromise and meet the certain types of ppl at certain places and/or meet them at bad environments to a minimum.
One of my friends who lent me "The Game" I keep at a distance when it comes to going out as he's utterly jealous of my success. Same goes for others. But I've just come to admit that it'll never work with some people.

In Denmark being negative and holding your peers down has a word, "jantelaw" (google it if you want to know more). It's a bit more common in danish culture (sources are exchange students, travellers, ppl on business etc., and they all compare it to other or their own countries). My own oppinion is of the same from what I've experienced travelling. I think the more reserved people are the more common it is.
 

trashKENNUT

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
6,551
I am just annoyed, that's why.

I don't know why i feel this way sometimes.

Zac
 

Mr.Chow

Rookie
Rookie
Joined
Nov 29, 2014
Messages
3
That's not everyone. Obviously. The people who want you to succeed are usually successful in their own right, and are too busy making themselves successful to give you a pat on the back. Then you get the other guys. The guys who have to bring you down to bring you up. Sometimes it's to one up you for a girl or a job or whatever, but usually it's a reflection of their insecurities and lack of success. Those are the guys you hear when you try to break the mold and succeed, sadly.

Plenty of both around brother - and your hunger for success can just be used to screen people like any number of other things. Just like screening girls out with sexually-primed approaches, screen out people who don't share you wanting to be successful. I've screened out and distanced a lot of people, even lifetime friends, who have you around because they need someone who makes them look or feel less shit. But then there'll always be people supportive of your ambitions too. Treat this like another screen and you can use it to become surrounded with LOADS more people who truly have your back and help bring you up.
 

trashKENNUT

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
6,551
TSLeaze,

TSLeaze said:
That's not everyone. Obviously. The people who want you to succeed are usually successful in their own right, and are too busy making themselves successful to give you a pat on the back. Then you get the other guys. The guys who have to bring you down to bring you up. Sometimes it's to one up you for a girl or a job or whatever, but usually it's a reflection of their insecurities and lack of success. Those are the guys you hear when you try to break the mold and succeed, sadly.

Plenty of both around brother - and your hunger for success can just be used to screen people like any number of other things. Just like screening girls out with sexually-primed approaches, screen out people who don't share you wanting to be successful. I've screened out and distanced a lot of people, even lifetime friends, who have you around because they need someone who makes them look or feel less shit. But then there'll always be people supportive of your ambitions too. Treat this like another screen and you can use it to become surrounded with LOADS more people who truly have your back and help bring you up.


this is good notes.

Zac
 

Lotus

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Nov 12, 2014
Messages
624
I don't think most people even understand they are doing it. They are so lost in their own unconcious world they can't even see their own two feet let alone what may be best for another person.
 

Drck

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 14, 2013
Messages
1,488
Most people want to be successful but they are not willing to do much for it, so mostly they just sit and wait till it comes. Which rarely happens, or more accurately: It never happens.

So don't worry much about what other people want or say, do what you want and let them wait for their success. If you want success go for it.

In reality, most people care only about themselves, they don't really care much about your success or failure. There is really nobody stopping you, except yourself...
 

trashKENNUT

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
6,551
Drck,

Drck said:
There is really nobody stopping you, except yourself...

So true. People create illusions for other people while they get whatever they want themselves.

Zac
 
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