why would a famous millionaire like chester commit suicide
- Thread starter Ree
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Drugs, trauma, and flawed mental models.
Definitely sad about this too; Linkin Park was (and still is) one of my favorite bands from back in their "good days" with their older albums (Hybrid Theory, Meteora, Minutes to Midnight, etc.).
- Franco
Definitely sad about this too; Linkin Park was (and still is) one of my favorite bands from back in their "good days" with their older albums (Hybrid Theory, Meteora, Minutes to Midnight, etc.).
- Franco
Many times, once you achieve all there is that everybody chases - money, fame, women - you realize the emptiness of life... you got it all but you just know that none of it can really make you happy...
You chase these things for years, and once you reach them you realize that you only chased silly dreams, only wasted your time on useless things ... You realize that you are just a dreamer, you dreamt, you were asleep for so many years just Iike everybody else... That is reality, many people want to escape it, avoid it, deny it... They always want to live in sweet and happy dreams, they never want to wake up... They would never admit it because they know they couldn't cope with that simple truth...
So many just keep chasing and chasing, constructing theories of better tomorrows, creating important purposes and better afterlives, they always need to find new and new objects to chase... They always live in better Tomorrows, while trying to escape Today... They can't face Today, they can't live in it, they can't stand it... Sometimes they get tired though, they just say fuck it, enough, I'm done with all that pointless chasing...
The sad things is, that there are no pills that would remove the truth. There are no mindsets that would change it, no coping skills... The truth is there, it is always there, and always has been... it's everywhere you look, it doesn't have to be a guy who "has it all" to realize it...
You chase these things for years, and once you reach them you realize that you only chased silly dreams, only wasted your time on useless things ... You realize that you are just a dreamer, you dreamt, you were asleep for so many years just Iike everybody else... That is reality, many people want to escape it, avoid it, deny it... They always want to live in sweet and happy dreams, they never want to wake up... They would never admit it because they know they couldn't cope with that simple truth...
So many just keep chasing and chasing, constructing theories of better tomorrows, creating important purposes and better afterlives, they always need to find new and new objects to chase... They always live in better Tomorrows, while trying to escape Today... They can't face Today, they can't live in it, they can't stand it... Sometimes they get tired though, they just say fuck it, enough, I'm done with all that pointless chasing...
The sad things is, that there are no pills that would remove the truth. There are no mindsets that would change it, no coping skills... The truth is there, it is always there, and always has been... it's everywhere you look, it doesn't have to be a guy who "has it all" to realize it...
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Man, maybe chase something else. Strength, invention, philanthropy.
I gotta admit, chasing is kinda fun.
It's just impossible to "have it all." There will be a next thing.
I gotta admit, chasing is kinda fun.
It's just impossible to "have it all." There will be a next thing.
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i second Franco.
Here's what happen with fame.
1)People don't see you. People see their PERCEPTION OF YOU
2)They Talk About THEM Talking ABOUT YOU
3)"Value" is all that matters
In case you don't know, i used to dance, and i had some small little bit bit of fame. People don't see me as me. And definitely it is all about "value".
Zac
Here's what happen with fame.
1)People don't see you. People see their PERCEPTION OF YOU
2)They Talk About THEM Talking ABOUT YOU
3)"Value" is all that matters
In case you don't know, i used to dance, and i had some small little bit bit of fame. People don't see me as me. And definitely it is all about "value".
Zac
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The dude was sexually abused as a kid, had parents that divorced him, and was bullied growing up in high school. This is a major thing I have tried to tackle in all of my posts on GC recently and eventually want to address. To put it in other words, he had the fame and made good music but he was a misfit in a bad way. Instead of addressing that issue, he likely let it sit and when he became famous he enjoyed those years being successful but never really addressed deep holes from the past.
I believe a lot of what happens to you in adolescence and college shapes so much of your mindset unless you tackle it.
I even went through it and to an extent go through it now. Adolescence was not as bad as that dude's but getting picked on, having to deal with overbearing parents, and all of that shit only to go to college and be a social outcast for a great deal of time.
Even now in life, I have a good paying job and live in the best city in the country, I've fucked so many different women and just got laid earlier today from a sexy girl I met at a pool party (lay report upcoming) but I lacked that sense of community throughout my life. That feeling of knowing someone has your back, a group will be there for you, and you will have some friends that will defend you if need be. A lot of naturals, cool kids, hot girls, and what we consider normal people get that so they can be emotionally and mentally healthy.
The people that do not get that tend to carry a lot of baggage into adulthood because they feel that emptiness and feeling of being left out in life even after they seem to have made it. We underestimate the value of having a community in your life and making worthwhile friends.
I believe a lot of what happens to you in adolescence and college shapes so much of your mindset unless you tackle it.
I even went through it and to an extent go through it now. Adolescence was not as bad as that dude's but getting picked on, having to deal with overbearing parents, and all of that shit only to go to college and be a social outcast for a great deal of time.
Even now in life, I have a good paying job and live in the best city in the country, I've fucked so many different women and just got laid earlier today from a sexy girl I met at a pool party (lay report upcoming) but I lacked that sense of community throughout my life. That feeling of knowing someone has your back, a group will be there for you, and you will have some friends that will defend you if need be. A lot of naturals, cool kids, hot girls, and what we consider normal people get that so they can be emotionally and mentally healthy.
The people that do not get that tend to carry a lot of baggage into adulthood because they feel that emptiness and feeling of being left out in life even after they seem to have made it. We underestimate the value of having a community in your life and making worthwhile friends.
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I went through this exact same thing except middle - high school not college. I don't know were you and I differ, but I don't remember my past and think about all the bad things that happened to me, i think about the positive memories, even though they make up maybe 10-15% of the experience. I was completely lonely and bullied everywhere I went. And I didn't have anyone to open up to. Not even my parents. You know as a teenager the last thing you want to do is talk to your parents. Me and my dad got in fights often and didn't speak to each other for months at a time.
I am also secretly longing for someone or a group of people I can connect with, and understand me. Which is why admittedly, I bother a certain member here more than I should.
The reason why I'm telling you this is because looking back now(3 years after hs), I don't feel bad about all the things that happened to me. I barely think about the bad memories. And when I look back, I'm able to shrug my shoulders, and say shit happens.
I'm not hounded by my past, and the difference between you and me is mindset. In order to let go, sympathize with your past, and empathize with the people you blame.
Remember the bad memories, smile and tell yourself, "Hey there bad memories, I know you are there! You will not get me this time, I will overwhelm you with love and kindness!"
Then smile at it. Hug it and kiss it like a baby. Nurture the pain.
And it will get weaker. It will no longer have a hold over you. As cheesy as it sounds, love and kindness eliminates suffering.
Then after the feeling goes away, reflect on why it showed up. Was it a girl who treated you a certain way? Was it a malicious thought? Whatever it was, find the reason, then, either choose to get away from what made you suffer, or, become detached from the scenario that caused the suffering.
Realize, what causes you to suffer is not a girl, or a memory, or an object. What causes suffering is becoming attached to something that is bound to change one day.
For example, if you become deeply attached to a girl, once you lose her, you will suffer. If you become attached to your brand new car, If it gets stolen, you will suffer.
And if you become attached to your ideal you, you will also suffer.
That's it...
P.s: You and I are nothing special. Our pasts are nothing special. Plenty of people get it way worse than us, and when they look back at their memories, it's mostly positive.
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Quick note for anyone dealing with troubled past memories (like Oh Pry is, or Cacc was). I'll likely do a full GC post on this at some point, since various guys have asked about clearing negative memories / trauma for a while.
Two important notes about memory:
The clearing process is pretty straightforward. You access your worst memories, then mix them up with neutral emotions and keep doing it until you've killed much of the memory's power. Then shove it back in its box. Repeat this process over a few weeks until you've killed all that memory's power.
Example: let's say some kid bullied you. Every time you saw this kid he was a complete jackass. And you have a lot of anger and humiliation about that. So, you bring up his memories, imagine this kid's face, imagine a bunch of crummy things he did to you, and all the while you breathe deep and slow to keep yourself calm. Maybe you're sitting outside in nature with tree leaves rustling in the air and birds chirping. And you look up at the sky and the clouds and imagine this kid. And you understand his psychology; that he was a hurt guy, he was broken, his father probably beat him up at home like most bullies' fathers do. He thought you were prey and he took it out on you. But he was just a damaged guy himself. And you keep telling yourself that and keep breathing slow and deep and keep focusing on nature. When you repack that memory, much of its emotion is gone now, and it's been repacked with tranquility and understanding (and possibly forgiveness, which is the ultimate emotion you want to get to).
This is actually how the brain works. Memory is stored, then retrieved, then re-stored again, with a new set of connections based on what you felt and experienced while you accessed the memory. Even the facts of memories can change; people have these big things they remember, and if they talk to the other people involved in them often the two or more people involved remember the facts completely differently. Because every time they retrieved the emotion, they changed it subtley, and over time it became something completely different for each of them, dependent on the emotions they had tied to it (humiliation, guilt, victory, etc.).
You can clear whole categories of memories if you have a bunch strung together on a certain emotion this way. You don't have to do it one emotion at a time. You just dredge up all the related memories, associate them with calm, tranquility, understanding, and/or forgiveness, and repack them when you're done. Then repeat the next day or a few days later. Keep doing until all the old negative emotions are exorcised.
This works very, very well. Probably better than anything else I know of. Better even than hypnosis, because you're not repressing the emotions. You're keeping them, but robbing them of all their power over you.
Chase
Two important notes about memory:
- Memory is unstable. Every time you access a memory, it's like opening up the memory box, taking the memory out, playing with it, and putting it back in again when you're done. You associate new emotions as you go, which means you can make bad memories worse if you amplify the bad feelings when you access them (which is often why some things seem kinda sorta bad or embarrassing when they first happen, but then as you look back on them they get worse and worse). But you can also depower those memories by changing them when you access them, too.
- Memory is tied to emotions. Each memory is tied to a specific emotion, and is recalled when you're in that emotional state. So if you have a bunch of depressing or humiliating memories, those will come up when you feel those emotions. Which keeps you trapped in that state longer and makes you feel worse.
The clearing process is pretty straightforward. You access your worst memories, then mix them up with neutral emotions and keep doing it until you've killed much of the memory's power. Then shove it back in its box. Repeat this process over a few weeks until you've killed all that memory's power.
Example: let's say some kid bullied you. Every time you saw this kid he was a complete jackass. And you have a lot of anger and humiliation about that. So, you bring up his memories, imagine this kid's face, imagine a bunch of crummy things he did to you, and all the while you breathe deep and slow to keep yourself calm. Maybe you're sitting outside in nature with tree leaves rustling in the air and birds chirping. And you look up at the sky and the clouds and imagine this kid. And you understand his psychology; that he was a hurt guy, he was broken, his father probably beat him up at home like most bullies' fathers do. He thought you were prey and he took it out on you. But he was just a damaged guy himself. And you keep telling yourself that and keep breathing slow and deep and keep focusing on nature. When you repack that memory, much of its emotion is gone now, and it's been repacked with tranquility and understanding (and possibly forgiveness, which is the ultimate emotion you want to get to).
This is actually how the brain works. Memory is stored, then retrieved, then re-stored again, with a new set of connections based on what you felt and experienced while you accessed the memory. Even the facts of memories can change; people have these big things they remember, and if they talk to the other people involved in them often the two or more people involved remember the facts completely differently. Because every time they retrieved the emotion, they changed it subtley, and over time it became something completely different for each of them, dependent on the emotions they had tied to it (humiliation, guilt, victory, etc.).
You can clear whole categories of memories if you have a bunch strung together on a certain emotion this way. You don't have to do it one emotion at a time. You just dredge up all the related memories, associate them with calm, tranquility, understanding, and/or forgiveness, and repack them when you're done. Then repeat the next day or a few days later. Keep doing until all the old negative emotions are exorcised.
This works very, very well. Probably better than anything else I know of. Better even than hypnosis, because you're not repressing the emotions. You're keeping them, but robbing them of all their power over you.
Chase
This is probably more valuable then the remainder of the advice on the site for those with emotional trauma hang ups getting in the way of their social development. Any resources or more specifics on exercises or routines, helpful apps, environment, cross over with meditation, things to watch out for, or anything that might help any of us make this part of our reality would be immensely valuable.Chase said: